Am I a false Christian or a "victim" of Satan?

ReturnToGod · Aug 15, 2025

jmldn2 said:
If Christians are truthful, at some point in their life while going through sickness, death of a love one, or some challenging time, they may have a "thought" of where is God????? Is He real????? Satan himself loves it if that happens to any of us. Also, how does any Christian live such a perfect life that they do not sin?????? Remember, sin can also mean "to know to do good and not do it, that is also sin."

I think the previous user isn't referring to 'sinning once' due to a very strong and temporary temptation, but rather to 'sinning several times' and becoming trapped in sin and unable to escape...

Bro.T · Sep 6, 2025

When it comes to serving the Lord will see through the text how the Lord deal with us and mold us to righteousness. This is why it is alway good to give praise to the Lord and be thankful always. Because the Lord try us he correct us and he chastening those whom he love for correction. Sometimes there will be temptation before us and we will have to stand on the word of God to make it through.

Let go to Hebrew 12: Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, Nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, And scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 13 and make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

So let’s understand that Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Notice it says let us run with patience the race that is set before us, because this is until the lord comes or until the end of our lives. We have to make sure we are walking this walk as Jesus show us who did no sins. So there will be times when we get off track brothers and sisters.

Let’s go to Luke 4: 1 And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, 2 being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered. 3 And the devil said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread. 4 And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God. 5 And the devil, taking him up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. 6 And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it. 7 If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine. 8 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.

In this case the Holy Ghost is referring to the word of God and the spirit is angel. Now the Lord gave Satan a bargaining chip to entice you with. It is up to you to reject it. He can’t make you sin but he can entice you by offering you what you lust for. But notice what Jesus says It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God. The kingdoms of the world are in Satan’s power to deliver to whom he will. He wants to be worshipped as God. Aways keep that in mind.

But let’s go to James 1: 12 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. 13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: 14 but every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

So stay strong in the Lord when enduring temptation because there is a crown if life at the end. But for those who are tempted and is drawn away of his or her own lust, it bringeth forth sin and sin bringeth forth death.

The bible says, we must not only be a hearer of the word, but a doer of the word also (James 1:21-22). DON'T FOOL YOURSELF! If we really have faith in Jesus our actions will prove it. If Jesus is our Lord then we will obey him. Even a child will obey a parent, by getting good grades in school, for the reward of a new bicycle. The child cannot earn money for the bicycle, but instead must act upon their faith to receive the free gift. We must do the same to receive eternal life. "FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD” (James 2:20).

A man asked Jesus this very question, "...What good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?", and Jesus replied, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. (Matthew 19:16-19).

Hvizsgyak · Sep 7, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
But why would Jesus tell me to look outside of Him, for something that only He can give?

He is letting it up to you to prove to yourself that there is nobody better than Jesus and His love for you. It's a learning experience. Remember the Prodigal's son.

ReturnToGod · Sep 7, 2025

Hvizsgyak said:
He is letting it up to you to prove to yourself that there is nobody better than Jesus and His love for you. It's a learning experience. Remember the Prodigal's son.

Is it just a matter of believing that Jesus is real without asking any questions? Is that basically how it works?

So, if I believe he was the one who performed the miracle that pulled me out of the darkest pit of my life, should I believe in him without any questions?

Does questioning make sense?

Why do you think I started considering the possibility of questioning myself?

Michie · Sep 7, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
Is it just a matter of believing that Jesus is real without asking any questions? Is that basically how it works?

So, if I believe he was the one who performed the miracle that pulled me out of the darkest pit of my life, should I believe in him without any questions?

Does questioning make sense?

Why do you think I started considering the possibility of questioning myself?

Even His followers questioned. So did John the Baptist but they kept the faith.

ReturnToGod · Sep 7, 2025

Bro.T said:
When it comes to serving the Lord will see through the text how the Lord deal with us and mold us to righteousness. This is why it is alway good to give praise to the Lord and be thankful always. Because the Lord try us he correct us and he chastening those whom he love for correction. Sometimes there will be temptation before us and we will have to stand on the word of God to make it through.

Let go to Hebrew 12: Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, Nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, And scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 13 and make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

So let’s understand that Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Notice it says let us run with patience the race that is set before us, because this is until the lord comes or until the end of our lives. We have to make sure we are walking this walk as Jesus show us who did no sins. So there will be times when we get off track brothers and sisters.

Let’s go to Luke 4: 1 And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, 2 being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered. 3 And the devil said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, command this stone that it be made bread. 4 And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God. 5 And the devil, taking him up into an high mountain, shewed unto him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. 6 And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it. 7 If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine. 8 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.

In this case the Holy Ghost is referring to the word of God and the spirit is angel. Now the Lord gave Satan a bargaining chip to entice you with. It is up to you to reject it. He can’t make you sin but he can entice you by offering you what you lust for. But notice what Jesus says It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God. The kingdoms of the world are in Satan’s power to deliver to whom he will. He wants to be worshipped as God. Aways keep that in mind.

But let’s go to James 1: 12 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. 13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: 14 but every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

So stay strong in the Lord when enduring temptation because there is a crown if life at the end. But for those who are tempted and is drawn away of his or her own lust, it bringeth forth sin and sin bringeth forth death.

The bible says, we must not only be a hearer of the word, but a doer of the word also (James 1:21-22). DON'T FOOL YOURSELF! If we really have faith in Jesus our actions will prove it. If Jesus is our Lord then we will obey him. Even a child will obey a parent, by getting good grades in school, for the reward of a new bicycle. The child cannot earn money for the bicycle, but instead must act upon their faith to receive the free gift. We must do the same to receive eternal life. "FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD” (James 2:20).

A man asked Jesus this very question, "...What good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?", and Jesus replied, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. (Matthew 19:16-19).

Just today's sermon at my local church was about Hebrews 12, the same verses you quoted...

Hvizsgyak · Sep 7, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
Is it just a matter of believing that Jesus is real without asking any questions? Is that basically how it works?

So, if I believe he was the one who performed the miracle that pulled me out of the darkest pit of my life, should I believe in him without any questions?

Does questioning make sense?

Why do you think I started considering the possibility of questioning myself?

You are getting a second chance to go in the right direction. Jump at the offer. Many people are stuck in that destructive loop of committing the same mistake over and over again. Why? Because they are not recognizing their mistakes. You caught yours so run as far away from your repeated mistakes and live anew.

ReturnToGod · Sep 7, 2025

Hvizsgyak said:
You are getting a second chance to go in the right direction. Jump at the offer. Many people are stuck in that destructive loop of committing the same mistake over and over again. Why? Because they are not recognizing their mistakes. You caught yours so run as far away from your repeated mistakes and live anew.

But I have to start over, and it's really hard. I don't know how, and I feel very confused and tangled up. How do you think I should do it?

Hvizsgyak · Sep 7, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
But I have to start over, and it's really hard. I don't know how, and I feel very confused and tangled up. How do you think I should do it?

The way I got myself out of a hole (figuratively speaking) was going it one day at a time. The further you distance yourself from the last mess up, the stronger you become in stopping another mess up. And when you do mess up, you start all over again distancing yourself from that mess (day by day) - all the time asking God for strength to get you through another successful day.

I'm not sure what denomination you are but I'm Catholic. You may frown upon this next response but it is what truly got me over the hurdle (lead by God Himself) and that was going to confession and telling my sins to the priest. You can't believe the weight taken off of your shoulders when a priest absolves you of your sin (which is actually Jesus there forgiving your sins). You walk out of that confessional alive and knowing your sins were forgiven. You are given the strength from the Holy Spirit to overcome the next temptations. Again though, I'm not saying you won't fall again but you are definitely trying harder to please God not to sin again.

You might feel awkward and nervous telling your sins to a priest but don't sweat it. These priests have heard alot of nasty sins. They won't try to take your head off. They are there (in the form of Jesus Christ) to listen to and forgive your sins.

Hope I answered your question. God bless.

ReturnToGod · Sep 8, 2025

Hvizsgyak said:
The way I got myself out of a hole (figuratively speaking) was going it one day at a time. The further you distance yourself from the last mess up, the stronger you become in stopping another mess up. And when you do mess up, you start all over again distancing yourself from that mess (day by day) - all the time asking God for strength to get you through another successful day.

I'm not sure what denomination you are but I'm Catholic. You may frown upon this next response but it is what truly got me over the hurdle (lead by God Himself) and that was going to confession and telling my sins to the priest. You can't believe the weight taken off of your shoulders when a priest absolves you of your sin (which is actually Jesus there forgiving your sins). You walk out of that confessional alive and knowing your sins were forgiven. You are given the strength from the Holy Spirit to overcome the next temptations. Again though, I'm not saying you won't fall again but you are definitely trying harder to please God not to sin again.

You might feel awkward and nervous telling your sins to a priest but don't sweat it. These priests have heard alot of nasty sins. They won't try to take your head off. They are there (in the form of Jesus Christ) to listen to and forgive your sins.

Hope I answered your question. God bless.

I did this a few hours ago in prayer, and it helped me a lot...

Thank you, brother. Blessings.

Rescued One · Sep 8, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
But I have to start over, and it's really hard. I don't know how, and I feel very confused and tangled up. How do you think I should do it?

The Bible is the word of God. The more time I spend in it the better I cope with disapointments in life. Your earthly father's negativity will never help you. I know from experience. I like your username! You are on the right track! Don't give up! You can do it. Christ will strengthen you!

Rescued One · Sep 8, 2025

“9 Remember the former things of old, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, 10 Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things that are not yet done, Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, And I will do all My pleasure,’ 11 Calling a bird of prey from the east, The man who executes My counsel, from a far country. Indeed I have spoken [it]; I will also bring it to pass. I have purposed [it]; I will also do it.” (Isa 46:9-11 NKJV)

(Posted by David Lamb here on CF.)

Avoid negative people even here; they only drag us down.

jmldn2 · Sep 11, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
But I have to start over, and it's really hard. I don't know how, and I feel very confused and tangled up. How do you think I should do it?

The Christian life was never meant to be easy. How should you start over????? Ask God to show you one step at a time. Trust Him even when you do not understand. Study your bible, listen to God's "still small voice."

Godcrazy · Sep 12, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
I believe I converted two years ago, after going through a very deep depression. I'm 25 years old and have always had a tendency toward depression throughout my life. But everything got worse when I began to doubt the existence of God.
I immersed myself in atheist websites and began to blindly or fanatically believe in their arguments, which led me to atheism. I don't think I was ever 100% atheist, but I was largely one.
This inclination toward atheism brought a deep and profound spiritual depression into my life. I even sank into a very dark, dead-end pit and began to sin excessively. I stopped sleeping at night and slept during the day. I felt demonic presences when I slept and in my dreams. I had nightmares. I was in this situation for a little over two months.
Until one night, I surrendered to God in prayer. I was tired of the nightmares and the whole traumatic situation. I asked God for forgiveness and told Him to do whatever He wanted with me.
That same night I didn't have any nightmares while I slept, and when I woke up, I woke up completely credulous, convinced that God had healed and saved me.
From that moment on, completely transformative changes began in my life. I overcame the social phobia I'd suffered from my entire life; the depressive symptoms diminished until they disappeared completely. I began to have a normal relationship with my biological father (we always didn't get along, and because of his personality, I was afraid of him). However, we began to develop a father-son relationship we'd never had before, perhaps nothing unusual, but something completely unknown to me.
I stopped using obscene language in my home.
I fell completely in love with God. I wanted to please Him in everything, and it pained me greatly to fail Him.
I started attending church and didn't want to miss a single day of the meetings.
Neighbors and friends were amazed by my dramatic change.
I began practicing some hobbies, which I had in my past life but didn't enjoy passionately because of my depression.
All of this went smoothly for about 5 months (September 2023), when I felt God almost audibly tell me that I had to give up one of my hobbies, internet radio.
It's true that I did it for most of the day, so it's likely (or very likely) that I had made an idol of that hobby, and that I was distancing myself from God.
Then I quit, and little by little I began to experience a growing emptiness in my heart. Not only that, but little by little I began to doubt the existence of God again. My joy began to wane; it was no longer constant, but rather ups and downs. My shyness gradually returned, my mood began to depend on the circumstances, and there were times when I lost control, meaning the symptoms of my old life seemed to reappear. However, I continued to attend church without any problems, but there were many ups and downs.
And so it remained until approximately November 2024.
My father began to act harshly and somewhat abusively again (I don't know if it was because he noticed my bad mood and I seemed more easily manipulated, like in my old life, or because he was feeling ill again).
We have been working together since March 2024.
The problem is that the abuse became so harassing and unbearable that I couldn't take it anymore. I was becoming psychologically ill, withdrawing socially once again. Until one day I came home and decided I no longer wanted to work with him (December 2024).
Shortly after this happened, I once again challenged the little faith I had by conducting an atheistic Google search on whether God existed.
And that caused a break in my faith, so that for approximately six months now, I have been doubting that what saved me two years ago was the power of God, of Jesus, of the God of the Bible. And this brings me to what the title indicates. The fact that I am currently doubting the Scriptures, the existence of that God, indicates whether I was truly converted two years ago or if I am simply like the dogs and pigs of 2 Peter 2:21-22.
Furthermore, in recent months, due to questions I have asked members of my congregation about this state of unbelief and doubt, I have become angry and held grudges regarding things I have disagreed with them on, and I have responded inappropriately, obeying carnal desires. And I don't know (I really don't know) if a true convert can make those mistakes and have those ugly feelings. To this day, with one of the brothers, I still have them.
And the truth is, I'm very sad. I feel lost because I don't know where I stand. When I was in better times and I sinned, I realized I was close to God because I immediately repented and felt His forgiveness. But now I don't know when I'm obeying the Spirit, and when I act by the flesh, it's like I can't discern it; I'm much further away...
I also don't know if what's happening to me is my fault (maybe in part) or if it's a process prepared by God to help me grow spiritually and mature... I really don't know.
I find it hard to repent of my sins. There's a certain resentment toward God that I struggle to uncover. Genuine repentance doesn't spring from me, as if I have nothing to hold on to.
I don't know... What do you think?
Thank you.
God bless you all greatly.

I am sorry to hear all the suffering. Have you ever sought help for the depression? As it can be different reasons for it. Some, are biological, but it is a small percentage. More are chemical imbalances in the brain, which medications can assist. Healthy living and exercise also, especially a non toxic green diet free from chemicals and non processed, it is well known these things can contribute. Try. Try a little. And see how you feel. The bible says trust in God with your whole understanding and not your own heart(thoughts). I would try talk to God about it all. Pour your heart to him. There`s nothing he can`t do. He is merciful even towards sinners and those who don`t believe, so don`t worry. Ask him to help. Pray and fast. I heard Fr Rippberger an exorcist yesterday talk about demons, mental health, depression and how they use the brain against you and your weaknesses. I think that video is something you need to hear. It is on youtube the channel is called The Spiritual Warfare Channel and the video The Battle Within Fr Chad Rippberger on psychology, demons and the path to healing.
It was really about how they operate and mental health and how they work. I think you would benefit. He comes in on depression.
Remember, once saved God has your back. There are countless stories. You can`t ever lose your salvation. the evil want you to believe that.
Our salvation is not dependent on our actions. There are consequences, and we may have a harder life. Some misunderstand the growing into faith and good works with if you sin ..blah.
(it does not mean take sin lightly)
What I am saying is there is grace. He will always forgive.
It is also normal to question the faith here and there.
Don`t give up. God has you.

Godcrazy · Sep 12, 2025

Also, do you know the reasons for your fathers abuse? Because abuse is not okay, even if it is from family members. Maybe you could seek some help someone to talk to about it? If nothing else you can talk to me feel free to pm. I have had abuse in my family myself and know a lot. It is one thing to be kind loving and all that, but it does not mean we should accept abuse. And even less in your state. If the abuse continues you have to distance yourself as much as you can. you cannot save someone. But you can pray for him. Trust me on this one. My own mother has a personality disorder, and all I can do is be kind loving and generous but I have to keep contact low and watch out or my own health would be in line. Please keep your boundaries up. For your own health. if you can move out if you live with them because when it is like that, it is not advisable. And read up as much as you can about the specific issue.

Godcrazy · Sep 12, 2025

Also consider the way you struggle and feel can affect your thoughts and feelings about God. But it does not mean He leaves you ever. Do never listen to that. It means, you are vulnerable, struggling.

Godcrazy · Sep 12, 2025

jmldn2 said:
The Christian life was never meant to be easy. How should you start over????? Ask God to show you one step at a time. Trust Him even when you do not understand. Study your bible, listen to God's "still small voice."

someone said if we are christian and not get difficulties of various kinds we are doing something wrong that all real christians get difficulties.

ReturnToGod · Sep 13, 2025

Godcrazy said:
someone said if we are christian and not get difficulties of various kinds we are doing something wrong that all real christians get difficulties.

What I'm asking myself is why God removed His presence from me, why He removed the self-control He had given me, the desire to do His will.
Surely it was I who didn't know how to take care of myself, but what I did was so serious, so serious that God would punish me in such a way. I'm currently going through the same hardships I had before I converted: fear of people, of my father, lying out of fear, shame, sexual addictions. I'm going through exactly the same things I was going through before having the encounter with God that changed my life...
I'm having a bad time, brothers...
I understand I've made mistakes... but have I done so much wrong that God would take away, or allow Satan to take away, the true LIFE I was able to experience during those first few months?

How would you restore this situation? I'm being sincere, I don't want to hide anything, and I want you to please exhort me however you see fit...

At the moment, at least, I don't want to make the slightest effort to seek God. On the contrary, it seems that what I do most with each action is distance myself further and further...

I've submerged myself again (and I take responsibility for this) in the garbage this world offers, and now I'm completely drowned again in all the rottenness, and I don't even know how to get out, and I can't muster even the slightest genuine repentance or humbling myself before God... I have a hard time doing it... I can't, it just doesn't come to me.

I'm being honest with you. Tell me what you think, what you believe.

I can't enjoy anything because I feel dirty, not even sharing a TV show with my mom. I feel guilty. I feel like I should be reading the Bible all day long, and that because I don't, I'm an irresponsible child of God. I think that because I don't have the desire to read the Bible and am not as fervent as other brothers and sisters, I'm not a true Christian.

I know I don't know you, but I'm sure that the vast majority of those here who always respond to me have good intentions and, through texts, they treat me with great love, affection, and respect, and I feel the hand of God through their responses.

I WANT YOU TO PRAY FOR ME.

Thank you.

ReturnToGod · Sep 13, 2025

You've always been very patient with me. I've been posting about my case on various Christian forums since the end of 2023, and when I read what I've written in the various threads, it's basically the same. The only thing that's happened is that things have gotten worse since then, until I find myself back in this pit. It's not that I've abandoned God; maybe I didn't do things (like reading the Bible) that were necessary for me to do. But I have (with difficulty) maintained my way. I've always tried to seek God, in prayer, watching sermons, and attending church. But (at least at this moment) what I can say is that I don't love God like my brothers and sisters. I love the world and its pleasures more, especially anything related to lust...

I feel like I'm not worthy of God. I feel like the most just thing would be for fire to fall from heaven and only on me. I even believe that non-believers don't deserve the punishment I deserve...

Godcrazy · Sep 13, 2025

ReturnToGod said:
What I'm asking myself is why God removed His presence from me, why He removed the self-control He had given me, the desire to do His will.
Surely it was I who didn't know how to take care of myself, but what I did was so serious, so serious that God would punish me in such a way. I'm currently going through the same hardships I had before I converted: fear of people, of my father, lying out of fear, shame, sexual addictions. I'm going through exactly the same things I was going through before having the encounter with God that changed my life...
I'm having a bad time, brothers...
I understand I've made mistakes... but have I done so much wrong that God would take away, or allow Satan to take away, the true LIFE I was able to experience during those first few months?

How would you restore this situation? I'm being sincere, I don't want to hide anything, and I want you to please exhort me however you see fit...

At the moment, at least, I don't want to make the slightest effort to seek God. On the contrary, it seems that what I do most with each action is distance myself further and further...

I've submerged myself again (and I take responsibility for this) in the garbage this world offers, and now I'm completely drowned again in all the rottenness, and I don't even know how to get out, and I can't muster even the slightest genuine repentance or humbling myself before God... I have a hard time doing it... I can't, it just doesn't come to me.

I'm being honest with you. Tell me what you think, what you believe.

I can't enjoy anything because I feel dirty, not even sharing a TV show with my mom. I feel guilty. I feel like I should be reading the Bible all day long, and that because I don't, I'm an irresponsible child of God. I think that because I don't have the desire to read the Bible and am not as fervent as other brothers and sisters, I'm not a true Christian.

I know I don't know you, but I'm sure that the vast majority of those here who always respond to me have good intentions and, through texts, they treat me with great love, affection, and respect, and I feel the hand of God through their responses.

I WANT YOU TO PRAY FOR ME.

Thank you.

I will pray for you what is your name?
Please see the video i mentioned it will highly assist.
It seems to me enemy is using weaknesses or problems. And that God allows it to purify and make stronger to overcome. I also see it as a call to surrender to God. I think I have heard similar things happening to others when he wants them fully to surrender to him. also consider enemy might encourage or use actual problems that a mental health professional might help with. God has not abandoned you. He does not categorise sin. God does not punish like that. Jesus have abolished sin. Ask God to help and cleanse. He will hear. It does not matter what you have done or do. He will heal and restore you. He forgives. you are never too far away from him. He says he is near even those that are far away. He will never judge you. remember, he was put on the cross for you. he already paid for your sin. just ask him to help and he will.

Am I a false Christian or a "victim" of Satan?

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...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me

...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me

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