Question for my Catholic brothers and sisters

Always in His Presence said:

Understood - so do I.

I'm trying to reconcile the idea promoted that Priest don't marry (not saying it's bad nor good), because if they did, they could not devote themselves fully to the calling.

I pray daily - I study daily - I counsel and advise - I handle as shepherd all aspects of a growing church - I supervise my associate pastor, preside over our Elders and Deacon board - along with the Sacerdotal duties etc. and travel internationally as an adjunct professor. Did I mention I am writing a third book? I have not had a 'day off' in 18 years, there is always something to do.

I still had time to marry, raise six children and now help with 9 grand children.

I live and agree to a morals code with my denomination - no tobacco, no alcohol - no extramarital sex - no drugs - and no public dancing (we are a Holiness based Denom.).

I can understand if Celibacy is required - just stating that it is a requirement would end all debate - but saying celibacy is required to devote full efforts to the ministry is hard to digest. Peter was married - did he not fully give himself to the church?

Click to expand...

mourningdove~ said:

I'm assuming you are referring to verses 7 thru 9:

It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

If you use that passage to support priestly celibacy, doesn't it also say that "it is better to marry than to burn with passion"? No offense intended, but given what we know (homosexuality, SA, fathering of children), doesn't it seem like there have been/are quite a few 'celibate' priests who are burning with passion?

Click to expand...

Valletta said:

Priests too are required to say the Liturgy of Hours and be there for confessions and other sacraments.

Click to expand...

Valletta said:

At the peak of the sexual scandal, many decades ago, about 4% of priests were sexual abusers. The vast majority of these were homosexual priests. With the enacted regulations and policies the credible new reports in the U.S. have been in the single digits for many years. Of course, one is too many, but tragically there is still a lot of denial in other religions and the public sector. As to children out of wedlock, in the example I gave the last case in the Chicago diocese was about twenty years ago. If you think this is "quite a few" you are entitled to your opinion. Like I said, one is too many. But Satan never sleeps, and despite best efforts it seems impossible to completely eliminate the problem in our society.

Click to expand...

mourningdove~ said:

You brought up another interesting point ... 'confessions'.

I have often wondered how celibate priests can continue to hear confessions involving sexual sin, deviancy, etc., and not be affected by what they hear???

From what I've heard, some penitents can get quite 'vivid' (explanatory) in their confessions, when talking about their sexual sins. Realistically, how does a celibate priest listen to these confessions ... confessions by both women and men ... over and over again ... and not at some point become sexually aroused by what he hears? Or if not aroused, how does he 'wipe' the memories of what he's heard from his mind, so as not to find himself at some point tempted to sexual sin?

I don't expect for you to have an answer to this, but, as I see it, if a priest had a wife to go home to at the end of day? It might help him to remain chaste in his vocation.

You see, I don't blame all priests for falling. I truly don't. To me, it's understandable why it happens. The system just seems to be set up so as to eventually see many fall.

Click to expand...

Valletta said:

Priests receive special training to forget sins. Additionally, the sins confessed are very repetitive, that is, they hear the same sins over and over and more than anything such renditions are typically boring to a priest. Realize that when a person goes into confession that person doesn't go into detail, he or she might just go down the Ten Commandments and say I broke this commandment so many times. A priest might ask a rare question for clarification, for example, he might ask details to determine the severity of the sin or to determine whether it is habitual. If you drank too much he may ask to determine whether you are an alcoholic and endanger other people in anger or in driving or whether it was a one time thing. If you say you are an alcoholic he might recommend a step program. If you stole, are you a bank robver who uses a weapon and holds up banks every week, or did you take home an extra napkin from a restaurant? Lastly, a priest is not allowed to discuss the sins with anyone. I doubt you remember much that you have never discussed. As to having a wife, again there is good and bad. The wife may have many problems she burdens her husband with. One priest compared marriage to two rough diamonds polishing each other by grating against one another.

Click to expand...

mourningdove~ said:

I can see both the pros and cons of a priest having a wife.

I do know in Protestantism, that (generally speaking) the pastors who are most productive and fruitful in their ministries, and less likely to fall, are those who are in stable marriages where they have the ongoing support of a life partner.

I think it is alot to expect (even with special training) that a priest remembers no sins nor the person who shared them, but I understand that is the RCC belief, so I'll respectfully leave it at that.

Click to expand...

Valletta said:

It's a fact that they don't remember most of them, I never said they didn't remember any of the sins. There is no Catholic "belief" one way or another. Something quite unusual could indeed be remembered. As to the sinner, if you wish you can be anonymous, that is, behind a curtain or something to that effect. That is the norm at our church, the priest can't see you and you can't see the priest. But you can make an appointment for a special face to face. When face to face I have seen a priest roll his eyes back into his head, as in a trance, while hearing my sins.

Click to expand...

Valletta said:

When face to face I have seen a priest roll his eyes back into his head, as in a trance, while hearing my sins.

Click to expand...

Xeno.of.athens said:

Not to be dismissive or unduly naughty, but is it possible that your sins were so pedestrian and boring that he was falling asleep?

Click to expand...