NC priest resigns after spiritual direction abuse allegations

“I want to say once again ... how very sorry I am for my past actions.”​

A North Carolina priest has resigned his parish, after news reporting detailed allegations of sexual and spiritual manipulation in the context of spiritual direction.

The priest, who has been banned from a Catholic university in Virginia over the allegations against him, was made last month administrator of St. Paul Parish in New Bern, North Carolina, and resigned from the office Friday evening.



St. Paul Catholic Church, New Bern, North Carolina. Courtesy photo.

“After a recent news publication, I will be voluntarily stepping away from ministry at St. Paul and St. Peter the Fisherman and moving away from New Bern,” wrote Fr. Steven Costello in a July 25 email to parishioners, obtained on Saturday by The Pillar.

“I want to say once again as I did when I returned here in October how very sorry I am for my past actions.” I will say that it was certainly the worst mistake of my life,” the priest added.

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Costello’s resignation came one day after The Pillar reported that a former spiritual directee had alleged against him a three-year period of abuse and manipulation, during which he reportedly said that God had given them a unique relationship, which he allegedly characterized as “spousal friendship.”

In the context of that relationship — during which he allegedly manipulated the woman’s emotional vulnerabilities disclosed in spiritual direction — the priest often told the woman he loved her, initiated hand-holding and cuddling sessions, touched her breasts, discussed his sexual desire for her, and disclosed to her that he had [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] while texting her, or during a FaceTime Call.

The priest allegedly analogized the couple’s relationship to the mystical spirituality of St. Theresa of Avila, while urging the woman to be “discreet,” because others, including her husband, would not “understand” the nature of their relationship.

According to the woman, the priest also disclosed to her that he had engaged in three similar relationships with women in the past.

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