• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Long Distance Funeral Plans

Jump to latest Follow Reply
Sort by date Sort by votes
Z

Zacki

Newbie
Feb 16, 2012
38
38
North Texas
✟21,393.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Constitution
I'm 68 & in average health & thought it's time I plan my funeral. I quickly hit an obstacle. My wife & I both want to be buried in her home town which is 600 miles away. We're not rich so a 1,200 mile round trip for a hearse is not an option. I chose cremation for this reason but my wife is against cremation. She's Catholic. I'm not. Has anyone here had to deal with a long distance funeral? What did you do? We can't move to her home town because we can't sell the house until we get 3 truck loads of her junk out of the house. Yes she's close to being a hoarder so we're stuck in this house until that changes. Ideas or solutions other than getting buried locally?
 
joymercy

joymercy

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Feb 26, 2017
2,264
2,404
Study
✟432,366.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Widowed
The Catholic church does support your wife donating her whole body for science, thus negating the need for burial, but not negating the need for a memorial service:

If the body is donated to science, it's recommended to have a memorial Mass and a final commendation, even if the body isn't present for the traditional rite of Christian burial.

The Catholic Church views organ and body donation for medical purposes as a praiseworthy act of charity and solidarity.

While the Church supports donation, it emphasizes that it should be done with respect for the body and for ethically sound purposes
 
  • Like
Reactions: Zacki
Upvote 0
linux.poet

linux.poet

Barshai
Christian Forums Staff
Purple Team - Moderator
Angels Team
CF Senior Ambassador
Site Supporter
Apr 25, 2022
5,488
2,264
Poway
✟377,334.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Republican

AMBASSADOR HAT​

This thread has been moved from The Kitchen Sink to Requests For Christian Advice. The Kitchen Sink subforum is for out-of-date current events and this is looking for advice for what to do with a long-distance Catholic/Christian funeral.

AMBASSADOR HAT OFF​

 
  • Informative
Reactions: joymercy
Upvote 0
linux.poet

linux.poet

Barshai
Christian Forums Staff
Purple Team - Moderator
Angels Team
CF Senior Ambassador
Site Supporter
Apr 25, 2022
5,488
2,264
Poway
✟377,334.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Republican
I strongly encourage you to get started on clearing the 3 truckloads of junk out of the house. Not only does this make a potential move back to your hometown easier, your surviving children or whoever is the executor of your estate will be immensely grateful.

I would try looking around for people in need of work in your local church. Many people who live out of their cars have storage units and have plenty of experience dealing with and sorting old junk into recycling, donations, stuff to sell to make you some money to pay for that trip back. You may not be as low on money as you think. That is the most affordable and best option.

You can also try 1-800-GOT-JUNK too, if you can't find anyone that fits that description. Or, ironically, you can try moving the junk out of your house into a storage unit, and that process will help you sort it out. It also might help overcome your wife's psychological resistance to getting rid of it. You'll run into people at the unit who might have the experience I talked about.

Or you can make OfferUp listings for the junk to give it away for free or sell some of it and just let hordes of people in your community take it away. Maybe a combination of all four things. It depends on what the junk is.

Once you have removed the stuff out of your house, I think your head will be clearer and it will be easier to make this decision about whether and when to move.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Zacki and joymercy
Upvote 0
R

Richard T

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2018
3,074
1,972
traveling Asia
✟132,935.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Zacki said:
I'm 68 & in average health & thought it's time I plan my funeral. I quickly hit an obstacle. My wife & I both want to be buried in her home town which is 600 miles away. We're not rich so a 1,200 mile round trip for a hearse is not an option. I chose cremation for this reason but my wife is against cremation. She's Catholic. I'm not. Has anyone here had to deal with a long distance funeral? What did you do? We can't move to her home town because we can't sell the house until we get 3 truck loads of her junk out of the house. Yes she's close to being a hoarder so we're stuck in this house until that changes. Ideas or solutions other than getting buried locally?
Click to expand...
I like the asvice about getting rid of some stuff. 68 is young but at some point you might have some care issues to think about. For my family I have seen mistakes, mostly from trying to maintain a home when clearly the family home is not the best place. To stay in a home the longest you need no stairs, handicap accessible stuff and easy access to healthcare. Good financial planning is helpful too, like maybe avoiding a will by having beneficiaries on everyrhing and the house and car titled jointly.
I would consider natural burials that many states allow. No formaldehyde, but quickly put in the ground, some even with casket optional. So far less expensive. Its good your trying to plan and i pray you have lots of success in seeing ahead and being proactive in the things to come. God bless you and your wife.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Zacki and linux.poet
Upvote 0
Sir Joseph

Sir Joseph

Active Member
Site Supporter
Nov 18, 2018
166
180
Southwest
✟155,571.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I'll add a different Christian perspective that others don't seem to be addressing.

First, as the husband of your wife, I don't think she should be overuling your preference for cremation, nor can I see any Biblical reason not to do so. I understand the shared discussions on where to be buried (together) and what kind of grave stone to have, but what's underground as a body or ashes should not be cause for dispute.

Second, I would dismiss any cause she gives against cremation based upon her church beliefs or traditions (versus any Biblical cause that I'm not aware of).

Third, if you're an unbeliever, it won't matter that your wife overseas a Catholic funeral upon your passing. But if you're a Christian, it should matter a lot - that you not do so.

Fourth, be aware that you can offer up your organs before cremation; I just specified that for myself in my living will.

Personally, I think it's nice to have a grave to go to if you have anyone left in the world who cares to visit it, but the choice of cremation or not shouldn't matter to anyone except maybe yourself. Cremation's significantly cheaper, and in your case, the transportation issue makes it even more practical.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Zacki
Upvote 0
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Joy Allen
How to deal with a lying "friend"
Replies
11
Views
966
Requests for Christian Advice
Joy Allen
Joy Allen
linux.poet
My mother died, kind of suddenly
Replies
9
Views
573
Memorials & Grief Support
CoreyD
CoreyD
Wolseley
Went to my family reunion today....
Replies
6
Views
445
One Bread, One Body - Catholic
RileyG
RileyG
Gnarwhal
Prayers for my stepson
Replies
8
Views
543
One Bread, One Body - Catholic
RileyG
RileyG
X
Wife is pregnant and I am depressed and a bit resentful. Help?
Replies
18
Views
2K
Requests for Christian Advice
Joyful1
Joyful1
Top Bottom
Jump to latest Follow Reply
Jump to latest Follow Reply