Question for everyone.

Sorry that you feel empty but I am glad that you are seeking help. The foremost goal I think should be to restore your spiritual state and mind to a position that is at peace with God. Peace as in knowing that he is on your side and that there are as few impediments as possible that can stand in the way of your fellowship with God. I assume from your post that you do know Jesus and have at least some Christian teaching. Still, it seems like your status is impeded by some of the things you have experienced. I pray you can get the breakthrough that you need to have a vibrant and fulfilling life in Christ.
Specifically some things to look at include forgiving people that have hurt you in the past. If this is an issue, you can pray that you forgive even confess out loud that you forgive and even if you do not feel it in your heart, it is a step that will help bring forgiveness nearer. We are to love our enemies as an example. This might be from a distance so we are not hurt anymore, but love in the sense that we pray and wish that they too reconcile things with God. We also leave it up to God to do any judging. We can trust him for that.

Another issue that often occurs to break off our fellowship is an inner desire to earn the love and acceptance from God. The fact is while it is nice to do good things, salvation is a gift given to us. So don't let the devil accuse you of failing God. As you call on Him, he does forgive you and desires to bring you out to better pastures so you are not alone and in a place of hurt. So know that you have his acceptance and forgiveness as you have asked. That there is no need to feel condemned or unworthy before Him. This is because your grade to Father God is based on what Jesus did, not what you can ever do. So your grade in Jesus is 100%, a real source of relief because every other human has failed.

Hopefully others can offer their advice, but your daily bread (the word of God) and your walk with Him each day is important. Help with this includes good daily habits like reading your bible. Being aware of his presence, going to church, prayer including listening and fellowship with other Christians is also going to make a difference. Knowing too that you have things inside of you to give to others is important as well. Perhaps not right now but James says to pray for others that you may be healed. So you don't need to be perfect to have a part in the body of Christ, you just need to be willing as God shows you or your heart compels you in love. Already your desire to help your family shows this type of giving so that is great, you are on the right track.

That's about the basics that I can think of at the moment. Just don't forget and pray (Often even) that you know the depth of God's love as Paul does in Ephesians 3:14-19. With certainty I can say that God does love you and cares for you. May your journey go well in unpacking the things of God and in some cases distributing them to others. God bless!