Worth pursuing a final blessing from a dying abusive parent?

BrokenContriteHeart · Thursday at 12:14 AM

The Bible has examples of blessings and curses from Biblical patriarchs which carried prophetic weight.

For example:
1. Isaac intended to bless Esau but was deceived by Jacob. Even a blessing under deceptive circumstances was irrevocable.
2. Jacob blessed his 12 sons, and also Joseph's sons. It turned out to be prophetic and some people say that Jacob's blessings point to oil and gas in Israel (as discovered, and more will be discovered)
3. Noah
4. Moses' blessing to Asher - may he dip his feet in oil.

My relationship with my parents could be better. When I was a child, my Bible teaching dad cursed me by saying I was a bad seed. For some time I walked away from the church because of this toxic upbringing and home, and even now I am afraid of getting married and having a marriage like my parents'.

My father's latest response to why doesn't he remember his wife's birthday while he remembers others' birthdays at church was - "She didn't remember mine first."

So my question is this: Should I seek after my father's blessings before he goes? Would accepting his blessing mean I am also accepting all the curses he pronounced on me?

linux.poet · Thursday at 12:39 AM

I wouldn't bother with it, seems like it would just invite more cursing on you and more suffering.

James 3:8-12 said:
8 But no one among mankind can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way. 11 Does a spring send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, bear olives, or a vine bear figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.

Beth77 · Thursday at 12:48 AM

BrokenContriteHeart said:
The Bible has examples of blessings and curses from Biblical patriarchs which carried prophetic weight.

For example:
1. Isaac intended to bless Esau but was deceived by Jacob. Even a blessing under deceptive circumstances was irrevocable.
2. Jacob blessed his 12 sons, and also Joseph's sons. It turned out to be prophetic and some people say that Jacob's blessings point to oil and gas in Israel (as discovered, and more will be discovered)
3. Noah
4. Moses' blessing to Asher - may he dip his feet in oil.

My relationship with my parents could be better. When I was a child, my Bible teaching dad cursed me by saying I was a bad seed. For some time I walked away from the church because of this toxic upbringing and home, and even now I am afraid of getting married and having a marriage like my parents'.

My father's latest response to why doesn't he remember his wife's birthday while he remembers others' birthdays at church was - "She didn't remember mine first."

So my question is this: Should I seek after my father's blessings before he goes? Would accepting his blessing mean I am also accepting all the curses he pronounced on me?

No. You don't need anyone's blessing to get married. Avoid toxic people and go on with your life following the path prescribed by Christ.

tturt · Thursday at 1:53 AM

Is there another man in your life that you hold in high regard and knows you to the point of blessing you.

If you have children, you 'll want to bless them.

Maria Billingsley · Thursday at 8:14 AM

BrokenContriteHeart said:
The Bible has examples of blessings and curses from Biblical patriarchs which carried prophetic weight.

For example:
1. Isaac intended to bless Esau but was deceived by Jacob. Even a blessing under deceptive circumstances was irrevocable.
2. Jacob blessed his 12 sons, and also Joseph's sons. It turned out to be prophetic and some people say that Jacob's blessings point to oil and gas in Israel (as discovered, and more will be discovered)
3. Noah
4. Moses' blessing to Asher - may he dip his feet in oil.

My relationship with my parents could be better. When I was a child, my Bible teaching dad cursed me by saying I was a bad seed. For some time I walked away from the church because of this toxic upbringing and home, and even now I am afraid of getting married and having a marriage like my parents'.

My father's latest response to why doesn't he remember his wife's birthday while he remembers others' birthdays at church was - "She didn't remember mine first."

So my question is this: Should I seek after my father's blessings before he goes? Would accepting his blessing mean I am also accepting all the curses he pronounced on me?

Rather than seek his blessing, forgive him.
It is our Father's will that we forgive one another as He has forgiven us.
Be blessed

BobRyan · Thursday at 5:21 PM

BrokenContriteHeart said:
The Bible has examples of blessings and curses from Biblical patriarchs which carried prophetic weight.

For example:
1. Isaac intended to bless Esau but was deceived by Jacob. Even a blessing under deceptive circumstances was irrevocable.
2. Jacob blessed his 12 sons, and also Joseph's sons. It turned out to be prophetic and some people say that Jacob's blessings point to oil and gas in Israel (as discovered, and more will be discovered)
3. Noah
4. Moses' blessing to Asher - may he dip his feet in oil.

My relationship with my parents could be better. When I was a child, my Bible teaching dad cursed me by saying I was a bad seed. For some time I walked away from the church because of this toxic upbringing and home, and even now I am afraid of getting married and having a marriage like my parents'.

My father's latest response to why doesn't he remember his wife's birthday while he remembers others' birthdays at church was - "She didn't remember mine first."

So my question is this: Should I seek after my father's blessings before he goes? Would accepting his blessing mean I am also accepting all the curses he pronounced on me?

I would not seek anyone's blessing that is not a born-again Christ-honoring Christian.

In Matt 10 Jesus said that His leadership, His Christianity - supersedes all earthly , family ties.

Pray for your father's salvation - pray he accept Christ before it is too late to do so. Pray for the best for him.

rebornfree · Thursday at 10:26 PM

See your father more as an object of compassion. For him to be bitter and unkind like that may mean he was treated badly as a child too. But remember that your heavenly Father is not like that at all. As for blessings, I would seek some mature Christians to pray with you for any bad influences of your father's negativity to be removed from your life and for you to understand who you are in Christ, if you have accepted Jesus as your Saviour.

Maria Billingsley said:
Rather than seek his blessing, forgive him.
It is our Father's will that we forgive one another as He has forgiven us.
Be blessed

Meanwhile forgive your father, as Maria has said.

bèlla · Thursday at 11:26 PM

I would not allow a parent to proclaim a word on my behalf who had a pattern of unloving behavior towards their relatives. I’d renounce what was said in the past and stand against the impediments tying my hands and preventing me from moving forward. It isn’t necessary for the parent to be saved to bless their children. Nor does its absence unseat their position in the spirit realm in relation to them. The precursor for doing so is love and honor. You can‘t bless anyone without a genuine regard for their welfare. Nor will the declaration address their strengths and weaknesses without an ability to see them clearly. Blessing is more than well wishes.

~bella

com7fy8 · Friday at 2:13 AM

Jesus says, "bless those who curse you," in Matthee 5:44 and in Luke 6:28.

Zceptre · Friday at 7:09 AM

All your blessings are in God's Word.

Every promise in the Bible is YOURS. (2 Corinthians 1:20)

Your Father in Heaven is blessing you all day every day.

Jesus' blood is covering you and destroying any curses against you.

Sometimes parents are spiritually children, and permanently so. (It is common)

God is your Father. (Psalm 27:10)

Love your parents regardless what they do, but put your heart in your Father in Heaven's hands...

Psalm 46:5 - Promised

rebornfree · Friday at 10:51 PM

I think Psalm 23 may be relevant here. It's the Lord who is your shepherd and your needs will be met. For the sheep maybe some of the pasture was arid, but the Lord led the sheep to green pastures. He provided still water. Apparently sheep find it difficult to drink running water so the shepherd made a pool of still water that they could drink from. He restores our souls and leads us the right way. Shepherding in Israel, in those days, involved protecting the flock from wild animals. He provides for us when facing our enemies, and comforts us through the dark times. Also the sheep got things caught up in their coats, so the shepherd poured oil on them to cleanse all the muck and dirt out. It was wonderfully refreshing in a hot climate.

With those thoughts in mind, I suggest slowly reading Psalm 23. That is your Father's blessing for you.

timf · 2025-05-24T11:56:20-0500

So my question is this: Should I seek after my father's blessings before he goes? Would accepting his blessing mean I am also accepting all the curses he pronounced on me?

Blessings and curses may have had more to do with Israel in the past than us today in the age of grace. Perhaps the best you can do is try to tell your father about the love and peace he could find in trusting in Jesus.

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Worth pursuing a final blessing from a dying abusive parent?

BrokenContriteHeart

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linux.poet

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Beth77

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tturt

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Maria Billingsley

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rebornfree

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bèlla

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com7fy8

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