Can I attend a non-Catholic wedding?

Q: Recently my cousin got engaged and is in the planning process of her wedding. She is a baptized Catholic and has received both first Communion and confirmation. Over time my cousin slowly fell away from the Faith. The man she is marrying is a great guy — however, he is not Catholic. From the looks of it, the wedding is not going to be in a Catholic Church and more along the lines of a beach wedding or at a fancy hotel.

The wedding will be presided over by what looks to be a friend. I am worried now about the rift that might happen in my family if we decline to go to my cousin’s wedding. I also do not want to go against my Catholic beliefs. I guess after all that my question is: What are the “rules” around attending a non-Catholic wedding of a Catholic and a non-Catholic?

A: Very strictly speaking, the Church does not have the kind of formal “rules” you are looking for on this issue, but the choice of whether to attend a problematic wedding requires serious personal discernment.

For some background, Catholics and only Catholics are required to marry “according to canonical form,” which for the most part means marrying in a Catholic ceremony. If a Catholic neglects to observe canonical form in their wedding, this is not only illicit (i.e., something we’re not supposed to do) but also leads to an invalid marriage (i.e., the wedding will not have “worked” and no real marriage will have taken place). And for the purposes of marriage, a person is considered “Catholic” if they were ever baptized Catholic or formally entered the Church at any point, even if they are now no longer practicing.

Obtaining a dipsensation​

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Gnarwhal said:

This is just me, but I find non-Catholic weddings super cringe now because they lack recognition of the sacrament if not the sacrament itself. But also their celebration of the wedding ceremony itself feels so trivialized compared to a Catholic wedding Mass.

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Yes I’ve noticed the difference as compared to Catholic weddings. Some seem quite devoted to incorporating their faith but a lot just seem invested in the celebration.

Gnarwhal said:

How do you feel about non-ministers getting "ordained for a day" so they can officiate their friend or family member's wedding?

That's just on my mind cause I saw a post online recently from someone I know who was a youth pastor but never ordained. He came back to town recently to officiate the wedding of a former student of his so I think he got a temporary license to do it.

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I’m completely against the ordination thing. I know people do it over the internet so they can officiate. That completely ruins it for me.

It looks like playing house to me with no real thought of the seriousness of the commitment.