Authority and Submission in Marriage, Done Right

What is the ideal for the meaning of the sexes and for the ordering of family life? It can be found in understanding authority and submission.​

For years, I’ve taught biblical submission to women—and to men. Even writing this seems like exposing a bad secret. Yet I go on because resolving the meaning of submission and authority brought this Protestant minister’s family into the Catholic Church.

The idea of wives’ submission came to me, granddaughter of a Baptist preacher, wife of a Baptist and, later, Presbyterian minister, as a thunderbolt from the blue. I was struck by the power of the Bible’s admonition—that is, without a cloud of such a concept in sight, I was struck by the power of the Bible’s admonition, “Wives, be submissive to your husbands as to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22).

I had read these words as flat syllables, without an ounce of meaning, for as long as I could remember, but on this particular day they were emphatically presented as something I could no longer ignore. Before this, I had accepted marriage as something like a football game. My husband and I were two teams who tried to gain yardage from each other or score goals by getting past each other’s defenses. Sometimes the competition was amiable, sometimes it was vengeful, but there was always competition, with the gaining or giving of ground.

The very thought that I should be on his team was revolutionary. All the assumptions about our relationship were up for review and reform.

Continued below.