- Feb 5, 2002
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COMMENTARY: As I worked to put my family’s existence into better harmony with nature, something even better happened — I started to feel myself closer to God.
Emily Zanotti poses with her infamous chicken, Kevin, and takes us along for her journey in living 'Laudato Si.' (photo: Courtesy photos / Emily Zanotti)
On a Tuesday in December, just before Christmas, I was given last rites.
That following Monday, my boss called me, wondering why I didn’t show up for work. She was scheduled to go on vacation, and shouldn’t I be fine by now?
I acquiesced, just as I’d acquiesced to cooking Christmas dinner the Saturday before. In my mind, I thought returning to work so quickly after an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in emergency surgery, imperiling the lives of two people and leaving one dead, would impress on my bosses and my family that I was resilient, quick to heal, and had my priorities in line. I had left Christmas Eve Mass in tears, unable to overcome the physical and emotional pain that had suddenly overtaken my life. I couldn’t focus my eyes on emails or text messages. But somehow, I was determined to prove my value. The world would not continue without me, even for a moment.
Six months later, drawn, burnt out, emotional, angry, and struggling to connect with reality, I took a buyout and retired, at the ripe old age of 40. I was useless, completely detached from my life, unable to find my purpose, and suffering from a post-traumatic stress disorder that robbed me of happiness and memory — in that short half-year, I bought and sold a house. I started and ended a company. I watched children grow and change.
Continued below.
www.ncregister.com
On a Tuesday in December, just before Christmas, I was given last rites.
That following Monday, my boss called me, wondering why I didn’t show up for work. She was scheduled to go on vacation, and shouldn’t I be fine by now?
I acquiesced, just as I’d acquiesced to cooking Christmas dinner the Saturday before. In my mind, I thought returning to work so quickly after an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in emergency surgery, imperiling the lives of two people and leaving one dead, would impress on my bosses and my family that I was resilient, quick to heal, and had my priorities in line. I had left Christmas Eve Mass in tears, unable to overcome the physical and emotional pain that had suddenly overtaken my life. I couldn’t focus my eyes on emails or text messages. But somehow, I was determined to prove my value. The world would not continue without me, even for a moment.
Six months later, drawn, burnt out, emotional, angry, and struggling to connect with reality, I took a buyout and retired, at the ripe old age of 40. I was useless, completely detached from my life, unable to find my purpose, and suffering from a post-traumatic stress disorder that robbed me of happiness and memory — in that short half-year, I bought and sold a house. I started and ended a company. I watched children grow and change.
Continued below.
Living ‘Laudato Si’ on an Urban Farm in Tennessee
COMMENTARY: As I worked to put my family’s existence into better harmony with nature, something even better happened — I started to feel myself closer to God.
