Wife with deep bitterness towards life/people

jmz · Dec 12, 2023

Praying for healing for my wife from bitterness and unforgiveness which has lead to depression
Been an ongoing thing. Ive seen that bitter and unforgiving tree take root deep into my wife's heart over the words of others that have hurt her and i think ultiamtely from parents that didnt give her the love and foundation she needed. Even well intentioned words and often words that the devil has twisted (conspiratorial thinking) can get in there and really damage her.
She has struggled from borderline personality disorder for quite some time. Quite destructive on our family (1 daughter).
Please pray for complete restoration.!!For deep forgiveness to settle in and for the uprooting of this tree!

“If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this Sycamine tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you. - Luke 17:6

Sycamine tree == a very bitter and difficult to destroy tree.
Praying for complete restoration. her Joy is absolutely sucked away. In many ways i see her being handed to the tormentors (Matthew 18:34) and sometimes on a dialy basis is plagued by the hurt.
Some days are very depressed days, with swearing and using God's name in vain (she doesnt usually swear). Fortunately my daughter recognises it and im hoping God protects her mind).

I also need prayer for wisdom, best way to communicate. Obviously loving intentions is not enough when there is a lot of hurt.

biblelesson · Dec 12, 2023

jmz said:
Praying for healing for my wife from bitterness and unforgiveness which has lead to depression
Been an ongoing thing. Ive seen that bitter and unforgiving tree take root deep into my wife's heart over the words of others that have hurt her and i think ultiamtely from parents that didnt give her the love and foundation she needed. Even well intentioned words and often words that the devil has twisted (conspiratorial thinking) can get in there and really damage her.
She has struggled from borderline personality disorder for quite some time. Quite destructive on our family (1 daughter).
Please pray for complete restoration.!!For deep forgiveness to settle in and for the uprooting of this tree!

“If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this Sycamine tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you. - Luke 17:6

Sycamine tree == a very bitter and difficult to destroy tree.
Praying for complete restoration. her Joy is absolutely sucked away. In many ways i see her being handed to the tormentors (Matthew 18:34) and sometimes on a dialy basis is plagued by the hurt.
Some days are very depressed days, with swearing and using God's name in vain (she doesnt usually swear). Fortunately my daughter recognises it and im hoping God protects her mind).

Complete love, compassion, and an acknowledgment of any hurtful attacks she perceives is coming her way is the first step to her healing.

You must do it. You must be the healer through the power of Christ in you.

Leave her alone, that is, stop saying what’s wrong with her and work towards her healing. Leave your daughter out of it - it’s wrong to involve her. You don’t need your daughter to side with you against her mother. Show your strength. Your responsibility as a husband is to heal the wife you love.

This is God’s order in marriage: 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

Men who don’t recognize their role makes it difficult for their wife to heal if she is in trouble.

What you must do is go to God on behalf of your wife. At the same time showing the utmost love towards her with no judging - at all.

Show her from your heart you love her and take her lovingly by the hand and ask her to pray with you. You take charge of the prayer at first - lovingly asking God to bless her, and thanking God for her as being the best thing in your life. Ask God for blessings and healing in both your lives - don’t make the prayer just about her. Ask for God’s power to come in healing both your minds, heart, and spirit.

If she refuses to pray with you, then you pray in the same manner anyway every night.

Say the types of prayer mentioned nightly. You will be surprised how Jesus will pour out His healing power on your wife - and you too.

God bless you!

jmz · Dec 12, 2023

biblelesson said:
Complete love, compassion, and an acknowledgment of any hurtful attacks she perceives is coming her way is the first step to her healing.

You must do it. You must be the healer through the power of Christ in you.

Leave her alone, that is, stop saying what’s wrong with her and work towards her healing. Leave your daughter out of it - it’s wrong to involve her. You don’t need your daughter to side with you against her mother. Show your strength. Your responsibility as a husband is to heal the wife you love.

This is God’s order in marriage: 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

Men who don’t recognize their role makes it difficult for their wife to heal if she is in trouble.

What you must do is go to God on behalf of your wife. At the same time showing the utmost love towards her with no judging - at all.

Show her from your heart you love her and take her lovingly by the hand and ask her to pray with you. You take charge of the prayer at first - lovingly asking God to bless her, and thanking God for her as being the best thing in your life. Ask God for blessings and healing in both your lives - don’t make the prayer just about her. Ask for God’s power to come in healing both your minds, heart, and spirit.

If she refuses to pray with you, then you pray in the same manner anyway every night.

Say the types of prayer mentioned nightly. You will be surprised how Jesus will pour out His healing power on your wife - and you too.

God bless you!

100% agree with the scripture!
Leave my daughter out of it? Side with me? What are you on about?? Its disgusting when parents use their kids to try and create "sides". Horrible. Im frequently trying TO leave my daughter out of it. The the whole point.
Every single day im praying for her, going to God on her behalf. Praying against satan and the enemy.

Perhaps a little less assumption and a little more prayer at the prayer wall would be better

. Perhaps change your name from bible lesson as that was a lesson in how to make assumptions about people

jacks · Dec 12, 2023

Praying that your wife finds the peace our Lord gives us.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Tigger45 · Dec 12, 2023

biblelesson · Dec 12, 2023

jmz said:
100% agree with the scripture!
Leave my daughter out of it? Side with me? What are you on about?? Its disgusting when parents use their kids to try and create "sides". Horrible. Im frequently trying TO leave my daughter out of it. The the whole point.
Every single day im praying for her, going to God on her behalf. Praying against satan and the enemy.

Perhaps a little less assumption and a little more prayer at the prayer wall would be better . Perhaps change your name from bible lesson as that was a lesson in how to make assumptions about people

I was basically responding to your request:
“I also need prayer for wisdom, best way to communicate. Obviously loving intentions is not enough when there is a lot of hurt.”

I’m sorry you feel I made assumptions, but after reading your OP, I was lead to suggest prayer for your wife.

I mentioned your daughter because you mentioned your daughter - and the dynamics of both the father and daughter recognizing something amiss with the mother in the home is not hidden from your wife. Not that you are deliberately involving your daughter, however I mentioned it as a caution.

I mentioned prayer together with you leading at first because I was offering a way to healing and to communicate. Hearing you speak with God lovingly for her healing in sincerity; and healing for the family can soften your wife’s spirit, in addition to God working mightily through your prayers.

Also as you pray with your wife, Jesus will cast out the deamons through the Holy Spirit. No need to tell her she has demons. Simply pray for healing.

God bless!

jmz · Dec 13, 2023

biblelesson said:
I was basically responding to your request:
“I also need prayer for wisdom, best way to communicate. Obviously loving intentions is not enough when there is a lot of hurt.”

I’m sorry you feel I made assumptions, but after reading your OP, I was lead to suggest prayer for your wife.

I mentioned your daughter because you mentioned your daughter - and the dynamics of both the father and daughter recognizing something amiss with the mother in the home is not hidden from your wife. Not that you are deliberately involving your daughter, however I mentioned it as a caution.

I mentioned prayer together with you leading at first because I was offering a way to healing and to communicate. Hearing you speak with God lovingly for her healing in sincerity; and healing for the family can soften your wife’s spirit, in addition to God working mightily through your prayers.

Also as you pray with your wife, Jesus will cast out the deamons through the Holy Spirit. No need to tell her she has demons. Simply pray for healing.

God bless!

All good, its to be expected. Us christians generally are very quick to give advice (which is basicaly just knowledge). Its one of the offputting things about us apparently lol. Quick to advice, slow to pray and long suffer haha. Its the same in any relationship, a husband doesnt want just advice he wants respect, a wife doesnt want just advice she wants love etc.

Also technically you replied at 1:18pm my timezone and i edited my comment with that prayer for wisdom bit 2 hours later so you mustve been responding prophetically to the future

but all goods. Appreciate any prayer you may want to give to our Lord and Saviour

William J · Dec 13, 2023

Heavenly Father, please renew jmz's wife's heart and take away her bitterness and unforgiveness.

FutureAndAHope · Dec 14, 2023

praying

linux.poet · Dec 14, 2023

Dear Lord, you know this woman's heart. I pray that you would bring events and people into her life who are capable of healing her of sorrow and deep pain. Lord, please open jmz's wife's eyes to the pain she is causing others, that she may seek out healing and restoration. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

RileyG · Dec 14, 2023

His grace and blessings to you :prayer:

Joseph G · Dec 22, 2023

biblelesson said:
Complete love, compassion, and an acknowledgment of any hurtful attacks she perceives is coming her way is the first step to her healing.

You must do it. You must be the healer through the power of Christ in you.

Leave her alone, that is, stop saying what’s wrong with her and work towards her healing. Leave your daughter out of it - it’s wrong to involve her. You don’t need your daughter to side with you against her mother. Show your strength. Your responsibility as a husband is to heal the wife you love.

This is God’s order in marriage: 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

Men who don’t recognize their role makes it difficult for their wife to heal if she is in trouble.

What you must do is go to God on behalf of your wife. At the same time showing the utmost love towards her with no judging - at all.

Show her from your heart you love her and take her lovingly by the hand and ask her to pray with you. You take charge of the prayer at first - lovingly asking God to bless her, and thanking God for her as being the best thing in your life. Ask God for blessings and healing in both your lives - don’t make the prayer just about her. Ask for God’s power to come in healing both your minds, heart, and spirit.

If she refuses to pray with you, then you pray in the same manner anyway every night.

Say the types of prayer mentioned nightly. You will be surprised how Jesus will pour out His healing power on your wife - and you too.

God bless you!

I will dare say that God has already granted you wisdom and insight. I'm the one in our marriage who held on to old and newly perceived wounds from my parents for years and years. That mentality transferred to my wife and kids. And I absolutely could not see it. Amongst many other verses that finally pierced my heart was the one in Ephesians that "love does not keep an account of wrongs suffered".

God broke me of my pride and victimhood and led me to hold my breath and reach out to them in forgiveness and good will. It frankly took some time for them to trust I was sincere but they did over time. The great reward for me was that I was finally able to honor my father and mother as He commands. All the old pain finally fell away from all of us.

All of this to encourage you to stay the course - you are definitely on the right track. Just keep praying for her and them and stay patient while God takes you all through each small step. I can testify that God is a restorer and the final result is joy!

God bless.

GodAndChocolateVanilla · Dec 25, 2023

Praying!!

jmz · Dec 27, 2023

Joseph G said:
I will dare say that God has already granted you wisdom and insight. I'm the one in our marriage who held on to old and newly perceived wounds from my parents for years and years. That mentality transferred to my wife and kids. And I absolutely could not see it. Amongst many other verses that finally pierced my heart was the one in Ephesians that "love does not keep an account of wrongs suffered".

God broke me of my pride and victimhood and led me to hold my breath and reach out to them in forgiveness and good will. It frankly took some time for them to trust I was sincere but they did over time. The great reward for me was that I was finally able to honor my father and mother as He commands. All the old pain finally fell away from all of us.

All of this to encourage you to stay the course - you are definitely on the right track. Just keep praying for her and them and stay patient while God takes you all through each small step. I can testify that God is a restorer and the final result is joy!

God bless.

Thanks @Joseph G for the encouragement. Absolutely there has been many insights given.
Recently I've felt leading from the Lord to start fasting as well. The verse "this type doesnt come out but by prayer and fasting" keeps coming to mind. So putting it on here for some accountability. Once a week fasting.

Wife with deep bitterness towards life/people

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