I'm sorry, I'll try not to keep doing this.

Lady Bug · Oct 29, 2023

I am hesitant to make a thread again. It is not exactly about the same subject. I'm in pain and I can't keep it in. I hope this doesn't become an addiction. I know that at the end of the day, only prayer can do but I'd like to know if I'm not crazy for thinking something.

My dad (I know...always about him) had another long discussion with me tonight about not wanting me to go to church/be a Christian. I tried and tried to talk to him (why do I think that trying will work) and it didn't work. What was the most aggravating was that he married out of his religion/culture, yet doesn't want me to marry out of a culture that he doesn't belong to. It's as if he's the one placing the dating ad for himself. It's never about what I know is better for myself, it's always about what he thinks is a good fit for him - as if he's the one searching for someone. Am I crazy for finding this paradox to be insufferable? He should have married among his OWN if he wants to "heritage" to continue. As for me, my mom's ancestors were Catholics, and even though they are not here anymore and I haven't even met most of them, I feel a connection to them when I practice my faith.

RileyG · Oct 29, 2023

Prayers for you and your family.

chevyontheriver · Oct 29, 2023

Lady Bug said:
I am hesitant to make a thread again. It is not exactly about the same subject. I'm in pain and I can't keep it in. I hope this doesn't become an addiction. I know that at the end of the day, only prayer can do but I'd like to know if I'm not crazy for thinking something.

My dad (I know...always about him) had another long discussion with me tonight about not wanting me to go to church/be a Christian. I tried and tried to talk to him (why do I think that trying will work) and it didn't work. What was the most aggravating was that he married out of his religion/culture, yet doesn't want me to marry out of a culture that he doesn't belong to. It's as if he's the one placing the dating ad for himself. It's never about what I know is better for myself, it's always about what he thinks is a good fit for him - as if he's the one searching for someone. Am I crazy for finding this paradox to be insufferable? He should have married among his OWN if he wants to "heritage" to continue. As for me, my mom's ancestors were Catholics, and even though they are not here anymore and I haven't even met most of them, I feel a connection to them when I practice my faith.

Something like -- "Dad, you married into a Catholic family. Big surprise I'm Catholic. If you needed a Muslim daughter you should have married a Muslim with pure Muslim ancestors."

Any way you could live with your mom's relatives?

Lady Bug · Oct 29, 2023

chevyontheriver said:
Something like -- "Dad, you married into a Catholic family. Big surprise I'm Catholic. If you needed a Muslim daughter you should have married a Muslim with pure Muslim ancestors."

Any way you could live with your mom's relatives?

I don't have relatives of my mom who care to communicate with us anymore. I don't know whose "fault" it is though. My brother is FB friends with a relative of my mom, but when I tried to friend her, she deleted my request

As far as your first paragraph, I have tried to tell him this. But he's starting a new backstory. For the past few months, he's been trying to tell me that my mom converted to Islam before she met him. No one has ever told me this - not my dad, and not even my mom. For as long as I've lived on this earth, I had thought she converted for my dad, but I'm starting to wonder if my dad is giving me a new backstory to make it look like it was not a "convert for marriage" thing. I hate to say this about him, but I don't rule out the possibility that he'd lie in order to sway me into his religion. I think he's that desperate. He doesn't want his relatives to find out about me being a Christian.

chevyontheriver · Oct 29, 2023

Lady Bug said:
I don't have relatives of my mom who care to communicate with us anymore. I don't know whose "fault" it is though. My brother is FB friends with a relative of my mom, but when I tried to friend her, she deleted my request

Sorry. I didn't know.

Lady Bug said:
As far as your first paragraph, I have tried to tell him this. But he's starting a new backstory. For the past few months, he's been trying to tell me that my mom converted to Islam before she met him. No one has ever told me this - not my dad, and not even my mom. For as long as I've lived on this earth, I had thought she converted for my dad, but I'm starting to wonder if my dad is giving me a new backstory to make it look like it was not a "convert for marriage" thing. I hate to say this about him, but I don't rule out the possibility that he'd lie in order to sway me into his religion. I think he's that desperate. He doesn't want his relatives to find out about me being a Christian.

Hmmm. How do you get him to stop being afraid? I suppose he considers himself at risk, or maybe he worries for you. I know that Jesus tells us we do not need to be afraid. There may be costs but there need not be any fear.

Thank you for sharing your burden. We may not have the solution but we are pulling for you.

Lady Bug · Oct 29, 2023

chevyontheriver said:
Sorry. I didn't know.

Hmmm. How do you get him to stop being afraid? I suppose he considers himself at risk, or maybe he worries for you. I know that Jesus tells us we do not need to be afraid. There may be costs but there need not be any fear.

Thank you for sharing your burden. We may not have the solution but we are pulling for you.

He worries for both me and himself. I don't know how to get him to stop being afraid though. Even I'm kind of afraid

Sword of the Lord · Oct 30, 2023

I'm sorry if this is offensive or over the line, but I'm honestly worried for your safety. We've all read the stories about what has happened to children of Muslims who converted to another faith or "dishonored" the family.

Michie · Oct 30, 2023

Sword of the Lord said:
I'm sorry if this is offensive or over the line, but I'm honestly worried for your safety. We've all read the stories about what has happened to children of Muslims who converted to another faith or "dishonored" the family.

This has been going on for years and years this back and forth between them.

Sword of the Lord · Oct 30, 2023

Michie said:
This has been going on for years and years this back and forth between them.

I know, it's the not letting up and refusal to accept that she's a Christian that is bothersome.

Michie · Oct 30, 2023

Sword of the Lord said:
I know, it's the not letting up and refusal to accept that she's a Christian that is bothersome.

They have these arguments constantly. They love each other but bicker about the same stuff over and over. I’m glad to she is seeking out other opinions and talking about it here now.

Sword of the Lord · Oct 30, 2023

Michie said:
They have these arguments constantly. They love each other but bicker about the same stuff over and over. I’m glad to she is seeking out other opinions and talking about it here now.

You're too sweet for this world, Michie.

It has made me see the dark potential in everything. I know you've been through a lot in recent years, but you still see the nice things.

Michie · Oct 30, 2023

Sword of the Lord said:
You're too sweet for this world, Michie.

It has made me see the dark potential in everything. I know you've been through a lot in recent years, but you still see the nice things.

Believe it or not Michael, I see things more like you initially. My only advantage here is that I have known Lady Bug a long time. Her father and her have these constant debates. I can see her pov because a good majority of the time he tends to contradict himself which leads to a lot of her frustration. She can correct me if I’m wrong. But thanks for the nice comment Michael!

Lady Bug · Oct 30, 2023

Michie said:
They have these arguments constantly. They love each other but bicker about the same stuff over and over. I’m glad to she is seeking out other opinions and talking about it here now.

No, the bickering is much worse than it used to be over the years. It's become a deranged obsession and I'm always second guessing myself as a person. Today he's upset that I don't believe that anyone should teach hatred to anyone and that Muslims are superior to Jews and are the best people on earth and is blaming church for my views. I lost my temper and threw water over the floor. I don't think I even like my dad anymore.

Michie · Oct 30, 2023

Lady Bug said:
No, the bickering is much worse than it used to be over the years. It's become a deranged obsession and I'm always second guessing myself as a person. Today he's upset that I don't believe that anyone should teach hatred to anyone and that Muslims are superior to Jews and are the best people on earth and is blaming church for my views. I lost my temper and threw water over the floor. I don't think I even like my dad anymore.

You two should seek out a counselor. These repeated arguments over the same thing throughout the years are not doing either one of you any good. Living under the same roof may not be healthy.

mourningdove~ · Oct 30, 2023

Lady Bug said:
No, the bickering is much worse than it used to be over the years. It's become a deranged obsession and I'm always second guessing myself as a person. Today he's upset that I don't believe that anyone should teach hatred to anyone and that Muslims are superior to Jews and are the best people on earth and is blaming church for my views. I lost my temper and threw water over the floor. I don't think I even like my dad anymore.

Are you both there at the house, alone together all the time?
(Does your Dad ever leave the house? Are you able to leave when you want to? Are either/both of you employed?)

I ask because too much 'togetherness' can even be challenging for persons who share the same faith, depending on their personalities.

I'm sorry, I'll try not to keep doing this.

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