-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
A Sense of Loyalty
- Thread starter Gentle Lamb
- Start date
- Jan 16, 2019
- 22,377
- 18,927
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
The people and situations that warranted my loyalty were those I loved (agape) or believed in. My feelings for them/the circumstances exceeded the hardships and mistakes. That’s how I stayed put.
~bella
~bella
Upvote
0
- Oct 7, 2018
- 11,127
- 9,180
- 65
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
If your loyalty is with Jesus Christ of Nazareth His Holy Spirit will guild you to those who are in Him and deserving of your attention. That being said, loyalty is a very high calling and your discernment should be sharp. Blessings.
Upvote
0
Jesus is my Superhero
Zealot
- Apr 19, 2020
- 1,161
- 1,050
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
Try to apply the beatitudes in your response to the transgressing party. Practice mercy, meekness and being a peacekeeper. You will be blessed in your efforts. The reaping of what you've sown is always greater than the actual sowing. A gardener can elaborate upon this concept, or a farmer. What comes from one seed is greater than the seed itself.
Upvote
0
One thing I've found difficult in Christianity is finding people/churches that I've believed in. In church I've seen extreme nepotism/favoritism, bullying, and extreme contradictions to God's word. Those things have driven me from churches as I've thirsted for God and kept looking for shepherds who cared for the sheep rather than trampled and muddied the grass the sheep were supposed to eat. It's been tough!!! I've reached the point where I've just kind of given up on church though I still attend. I think of Jesus, the kind, compassionate, good shepherd and it's hard to find a pastor like that. I know that no one's perfect but the spiritual bullying I've seen, allowing all types of immorality to go unchecked, the nepotism, it's been hard to withness that in God's house and not say anything and then when or if I say something, to deal with the repercussions.
Upvote
0
Thank you for reminding me to have sharp discernment. I think I have been a little too focused on what I can see. Your response was helpful and made me reflect. God brought to mind certain situations I went through, things that didn't add up, etc.
Upvote
0
Yes, you're right. Today God was reminding me of the verses in the Bible that call for us to strive to be at peace with all men. A few months ago He was really helping me to work on forgiveness. More things happened that could cause bitterness. I've been forgiving, but it seems God is also leading me a step further, to strive to be at peace and to use kindness to bring to end the cycle of hurt/abuse. God is my strength, may He give me wisdom to do what I feel He is leading me to do. Thank you.
Upvote
0
- Jan 16, 2019
- 22,377
- 18,927
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
Unless you’re previously acquainted they’re strangers. Why would you believe in them? That requires a consistent display of character that echoes your beliefs and moral compass. You need to see it over a period of time beyond a setting that inspires good behavior.
Everyone has favorites. Including me. It isn’t possible to like and love everyone identically. Because we’re different. There’s always someone in the group that gets you, speaks your language, etc.
I’ve never given it thought. But then again, I’m not looking for acceptance or leading with expectation. I take people as they are and go from there. Which results in a lot less hurt, disappointments and mind games.
Your pastor isn’t Jesus. He’ll always fall short. Even on his best day he misses the mark. We have an odd habit of putting them on pedestals or expecting the reincarnation of Christ or Paul and wonder why we’re disheartened. He’s fallible. Just ask his wife. She sees the person beyond the pulpit and if you pay attention you will too.
Why are you surprised by your experiences? You’ve been here since 2009. Do you read the posts? That’s who you’re dealing with. There’s a lot of brokenness. They’re the ones sharing their pain or looking for help. What about the rest? Understand? There’s your problem.
Churches are hospitals. They’re magnets for the sick and hurting. You need healthy people in the midst for ministry and examples. But when they’re not involved dysfunction runs amok and chaos follows. You can’t have oneness with a room full of islands under the same roof. They’re not connected.
Given your experiences your need quotient may be greater. Belonging is important. You need the right setting and it may not exist in mainstream traditions. I’d look for those that emphasize community and togetherness. They’re more nurturing and less likely to promote individualism. Look at the anabaptists.
~bella
Upvote
0
Yes you're right. I think what I've experienced is a lack of healthy leaders in churches as well as churches that promote division and separation. In truth, as I reflect on these experiences, God has been pointing things out to me that I think He may want me to use in the future.
And yeah you're right, I should have tested out the waters for longer with that new group. I'm learning. It's hard when you've come out of so much abuse, it takes time to learn.
And I'm not trying to over expect anything from pastors. But it seems like they're the only people that we make the excuse "oh they're just human" for and everyone else is held to higher standards. I think there should be accountability.
Upvote
0
Jesus is my Superhero
Zealot
- Apr 19, 2020
- 1,161
- 1,050
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
Proverbs 15 has many good points on human relationships. If you're married, a spouse will provide many opportunities for practicing these verses.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
