Blue Christmas

Paidiske said:

This is really more just a wondering-out-loud than anything else.

Every year, I make a point of holding what some would call a "blue" Christmas service; a quiet prayer service for people having a hard time, often those who are facing their first Christmas without a loved one, that kind of thing.

What puzzles me a bit is, despite the fact that people who come seem to find it helpful, attendance is always very small and I get the impression, talking to people, that most don't really understand the concept. So maybe that's why they don't come?

I thought it was pretty common/well known, but maybe people know it by a different name? Or maybe it's less common than I thought?

What are your thoughts or experiences with this kind of service?

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I would think that a ministry to those suffering a "blue" holiday ... would give the opportunity for those having such an experience to get out of their blue environs for awhile, ... and to somehow, even vicariously, experience the shared joy of the holidays.

I've had blue Christmases ... and the last thing I think that I needed was to participate in activities centered around the concept of suffering during the holidays. I was doing enough of that myself.

What got me through years of such doldrums ... is participation in the brighter elements of the holidays ... which would provide a lift to my spirit ... by allowing me to focus on more positive things at least for a bit.

What might be more successful ... is spearheaded inclusion of those known to be suffering ... in church-sponsored celebrations of the season. After all, in large part, ... the ministries of the church ... are, largely, experienced communally, with participation of all those in the community (happy, sad, young, old, etc.).

Of course, these are just thoughts off the top of my head ...

Hi @Paidiske

I'm going with less common than you thought, other than with support groups that work with people who may be experiencing loneliness at this time of the year. Not that I'm the bellwether of all things, but I've never heard of one.

God bless,
Ted

Paidiske said:

This is really more just a wondering-out-loud than anything else.

Every year, I make a point of holding what some would call a "blue" Christmas service; a quiet prayer service for people having a hard time, often those who are facing their first Christmas without a loved one, that kind of thing.

What puzzles me a bit is, despite the fact that people who come seem to find it helpful, attendance is always very small and I get the impression, talking to people, that most don't really understand the concept. So maybe that's why they don't come?

I thought it was pretty common/well known, but maybe people know it by a different name? Or maybe it's less common than I thought?

What are your thoughts or experiences with this kind of service?

Click to expand...

The emphasis, I see, should be that Christmas is to honor and exalt the Person of Jesus Christ in His birth and love and hope for all who will receive and trust Him --would you say! Anything else is missing the full meaning of coming to Christ, and making Him their own Savior and Lord of their life. I often tell souls to make the Lord Jesus their 'best Friend" and walk and talk with Him every day. Christmas is not for our fun, but hope for the world. - 1watchman

Paidiske said:

This is really more just a wondering-out-loud than anything else.

Every year, I make a point of holding what some would call a "blue" Christmas service; a quiet prayer service for people having a hard time, often those who are facing their first Christmas without a loved one, that kind of thing.

What puzzles me a bit is, despite the fact that people who come seem to find it helpful, attendance is always very small and I get the impression, talking to people, that most don't really understand the concept. So maybe that's why they don't come?

I thought it was pretty common/well known, but maybe people know it by a different name? Or maybe it's less common than I thought?

What are your thoughts or experiences with this kind of service?

Click to expand...

Apologies for the late reply to this one, @Paidiske. I instituted a Blue Christmas service at my parish when I arrived about six years ago. The concept was new to them at the time. The first year we held it, the turnout was rather small. But it's gathered steam each year and now we typically have a few dozen attend. We even get folks from other parishes since these services are still rather rare around here. While attendance isn't huge, I have heard how meaningful this service is to numerous people and so it's an honor to hold it every year. It's also an opportunity to be creative liturgically, since our BCP doesn't have anything for this type of service.

Do you do any sort of advertising for the service? We have tried to improve our social media activity in the last year or so and find that it helps reach a lot more people. I also explain what Blue Christmas is during the announcements for several weeks before the service since people may be reluctant to attend something they don't understand.

Edited to add: Especially in these last couple of years, I've been talking about Blue Christmas as an opportunity to come together to lament how we are affected by a variety of losses: loved ones, jobs, hobbies, recreation, social connection, financial security, sense of safety, etc. That seems to resonate well.

When I was at my most miserable, in 2013-2015, I was refreshed in my soul by a series of profoundly beautiful worship experiences in the Anglican, Tridentine, Syriac, Coptic and Byzantine liturgical traditions.

Some time ago (1992) I was faced with the prospect of having Christmas without wife or children after she divorced me and denied me access. My immediate family, parents and siblings, are a fairly close relationship plus my extended family, (Aunts, Uncles, cousins and ring-ins) are almost as close. For me the 'blue' that I was expecting was averted by my nephews, nieces and so forth gathering me up into their families. This past Christmas I could have faced a similar time after losing my second wife in February and my mother in November but natural family was there and Church family (the family of families) were also watching for me that I would not be alone at that time.

It may be that many Churches do not maintain a sense of family amongst the individuals and the families that meet together but if, like in my fellowship, this is fostered then it may be that a Blue Christmas service would be unnecessary. This is because everyone would be looking out for each other and watching for the times when some might be doing it tough. Also, it would not just be at Christmas. This way of fellowship can be difficult because it tends to require an openness and honesty amongst us. That is not something that the world would teach us to do... but then... we may be in this world but we are not of this world... so... it should be possible with the help of the Holy Spirit.