- May 4, 2021
- 1
- 0
- 36
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
I could really use some advice! I'm a 33 year old woman dating a 30 year old man; we have been seeing each other for about 5 months. We were both brought up in Christian homes and love the Lord. But I am concerned about some of his behaviors and I don't know if I'm just not showing enough grace/expecting perfection, or if these are warning signs and I should walk away.
Here is the good and the bad.
The good:
The bad:
Here is the good and the bad.
The good:
- We have a nice time when we're together and share some common interests
- He is okay with waiting until marriage to have sex
- I feel secure in the relationship and trust that he would never cheat on me
- He is very committed to me and not afraid to show his feelings for me
- We do Bible studies together and try to keep God at the center of our relationship
The bad:
- Our intellect and education levels do not seem to match up (I have a doctorate degree, he dropped out of college). This wouldn't matter so much if he respected education and could match my desire for deep conversations and mental stimulation, but his stance on school is that he "doesn't like it". He NEVER asks me anything about my education (I was in school for 9 years so it's a huge part of me) and how I got into my career. He never initiates deep conversations, and if I do he glosses over and the conversation fizzles out after a minute.
- He has no financial plan, goals, and zero savings
- His closest friends drink in excess, curse, make sex jokes, and are not Christian obviously. When he is with them, it's not uncommon for him to drink 6 or more beers. He justifies it by saying "it's over a long period of time" (for instance he drank 8 beers over a 6 hour period) and that he "isn't affected/drunk" by the alcohol and would stop before that happens (but how is he not drunk off 8 beers - why is his tolerance that high?). I have witnessed them pressure him into chugging a 1/2 liter bottle of beer before and he says that he doesn't have a problem with that (again because he won't allow himself to get drunk) and doesn't have a problem with sex jokes (says he is not convicted about those things). He has one Christian friend but rarely spends time with him. He says that he is not going to give up his friendships because 1, they are like family and 2, he wants to continue to try to bring them to Christ. However he admitted he rarely brings up God around them and he doesn't seem to live differently than they do, so I think those are cop outs for him actually just liking the lifestyle they live and not wanting to give that up.