need advice...

Lifelong_sinner said:

i think you misunderstand calvinism.

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Yes, probably.
But in a previous post you seemed to be saying that you weren't chosen to be saved, so you aren't saved and it's all difficult.

Lifelong_sinner said:

but rather the fact that 1. For some, its not easy to get saved.

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No - repenting, turning away from a sin that you love and know to be wrong, is not likely to be easy for anyone.
If a person loves/enjoys their sin they're not going to want to give it up - and you can bet your bottom dollar that the devil won't want that either and will do his best to keep that person's eyes off God and give them reasons why they shouldn't give up something they know to be wrong.

But if someone wants to be free from their sin, or is willing to be made willing to be free, God can and will save.

Lifelong_sinner said:

2. False assurance is a real thing.

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Yes, if you are relying on feelings to tell you that you are saved.
I did that a lot as a teenager - having a good day? Obviously God loves me. Everything going wrong/feeling unwell? Clearly I'm not saved and he's ignoring me.
Scripture says we walk by faith and not by sight.

Lifelong_sinner said:

And 3. Calvinism explains best 1 and 2.

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If it helps you, so be it, and you're right that I don't know what it teaches.
But "can't repent because I'm not chosen to be saved", is not correct.

Lifelong_sinner said:

God already knows who will and wont be saved. Their names are already in the Book of Life. But not everyone will be saved. Its really a chicken or egg question. But the “I” in tulip stands for irresistible grace. If God wants you saved, you cannot say no to Him. It has nothing to do with free will. The main objection i have found regarding those who dont agree with calvinism, is that supposedly they believe our free will is more powerful than God’s will. Its not.

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that is pure calvinist brainwashing...sigh.
it is Gods will that all would be saved 1 tim 2.
so then it's up to us if we will be, do we accept what He is offering us or not.
that's up to you.

Lifelong_sinner said:

God already knows who will and wont be saved. Their names are already in the Book of Life. But not everyone will be saved. Its really a chicken or egg question. But the “I” in tulip stands for irresistible grace. If God wants you saved, you cannot say no to Him. It has nothing to do with free will. The main objection i have found regarding those who dont agree with calvinism, is that supposedly they believe our free will is more powerful than God’s will. Its not.

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That's why I don't agree with Calvinism.

Clearly, people can say 'no' to God.
Adam heard a direct word form the Lord and instruction not to eat the fruit of a tree. God did not force him to stay away and not eat, nor did he force feed the fruit to him. He didn't even make Adam and Eve so that it was impossible for them to disobey - pre-programmed.
Adam, knowing God's will, took the fruit from Eve and ate of his own accord.
Moses said to the people, "those who are on the Lord's side, come to me".
Joshua said, "choose this day who you will serve", Joshua 24:15.
Jesus said that no one can serve to masters - meaning a choice is required. He allowed the rich young ruler to walk away and didn't drag him back. He said "Come to me ...." Matthew 11:28, and "whoever believes in me .....", not "well you have to believe and follow because God has created you so that it is impossible to do anything else." And he never said, "you will be sent to hell for rejecting me when it was never God's plan or will to save you." If it was God's will that someone should never be saved, and they weren't, then they have fulfilled God's will for their lives - which is more than some Christians manage to do.

It is clear in Scripture that God chooses - he chose to make animals in certain ways, with fins or feathers, he chose that the Messiah would be descended from Jacob, and not Esau. He chose Israel, not Greece or Egypt. If he can choose and we are made in his image, why is it not possible for us to choose?

You can choose to give up your sin; you have said that you don't want to.

you can actually by recognizing your need for God.

I Cor 10:13
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

King David fled from temptation, we are instructed to do so in the New Testament as well.

to be honest you may have a demon by now if you've not listened to your God given conscience and kept on sinning for 30 years in spite of your conscience telling you not to...thus becoming hardened to Gods voice. that would set up a stronghold in your life where you've become a slave to whom you obey. you may need deliverance quite probably.

I know I did.

Lifelong_sinner said:

You cant choose to give up sin. This is why i question if i am of the elect. The T in tulip is for total depravity. Paul said in romans 3:11 that noone seeks out God. There isnt a single person in all of mankind that has on their own, sought after God. The Father calls us, only then can we be regenerated. This more proof that free will doesnt matter concerning our salvation, if God wants you to be saved, you will and you cant stop it. Peter and paul both talk about being predestined for salvation, they talked about being of the elect.

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I suspect if you thought you could be one of the elect by your own choice you would choose what Jesus did for you on the Cross in a second.
why would God put that desire in you to be saved if you couldn't be. I find Calvinism quite cruel that it holds out the possibility of salvation but you never know if you are, what kind of torture is that. God is not cruel His promises are yes and amen.

dont let calvinist doctrine keep you from being saved. grab salvation with both hands!!

habitual sin doesnt mean you aren't saved either, you can be free of it. I never thought I could be but God delivered me, He is very Powerful and loves you more than you can comprehend at the moment because sin has jaded your heart, but know that God wants you to be free that's why Jesus gave up His life for you.

Lifelong_sinner said:

You cant choose to give up sin.

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Of course you can - why do you think that the prophets, John the Baptist, the apostles and Jesus all preached repentance? Mark 1:4, Mark 1:15, Luke 13:5. OT prophets were constantly telling people to repent and turn back to God. The people of Ninevah did, and escaped punishment, as did Judah when Israel was captured by the Assyrians.

When John preached repentance and the crowd asked "what shall we do?" ; he told them, Luke 3:10-14. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery to "go and sin no more", John 8:11. At Pentecost Peter said "Repent and be baptised, every one of you", Acts of the apostles 2:38. The Philippian jailer asked Paul, "what must I do to be saved?" Acts of the Apostles 16:30.

Where in Scripture does anyone say, "Repent - unless you are not one of the elect, in which case you won't be able to and it doesn't matter"?

Lifelong_sinner said:

This is why i question if i am of the elect.

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Sorry, but like I said, that sounds like an excuse.
"Yes, God, I did choose to steal those sweets/tell a lie/buy that magazine/fail to help that person - but I'm not one of the elect, so it's not my fault. You have said that you KNOW that your sin is wrong; are you saying that God made you aware that your sin is wrong and then refused to allow you to do anything about it?

Where in Scripture does anyone say "if you can't/don't want to repent it means you are not one of the elect; God has not chosen you, so it doesn't matter what you do"?

Lifelong_sinner said:

The T in tulip is for total depravity. Paul said in romans 3:11 that noone seeks out God. There isnt a single person in all of mankind that has on their own, sought after God.

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No, maybe not.
Christians pray for people, God sends his Spirit to convict unbelievers of their sin - so that they will then say "I know this is wrong," - and then leads them to Jesus so that they will repent.
The Spirit may prompt people to wonder at the beauty of the world and ask who created it, or to ask "why does God allow suffering?" or "is my friend/relative in heaven?" or ask "are all religions the same? What does the Bible say?" There are many different ways that God may work in someone's life, by his Spirit - and that person may never know about it. They may think it was "luck" that caused them to walk past a church when the Gospel was being preached, or whatever.
There are many testimonies about people who have cried out to God to save them, or prayed to him in times of trouble; I'm quite sure that it was the Spirit who prompted them to do so; God already at work in their lives.

Lifelong_sinner said:

The Father calls us, only then can we be regenerated.

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You have said that you know that your sin is wrong, you know that you aren't saved and you have written several posts on these Christian forums asking for help and advice; which has led to people telling you about God's love and preaching the cross. Do you not think that God may be calling, and urging, you to give up sinning and turn to him, or are you expecting a megaphone type announcement from the heavens?

Lifelong_sinner said:

This more proof that free will doesnt matter concerning our salvation,

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So like I said, why did the prophets, Jesus and the apostles preach repentance and tell people to choose God?

Lifelong_sinner said:

if God wants you to be saved, you will and you cant stop it.

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Sorry, but that's not true.
If God had wanted to create people who were incapable of sinning, he would have. He would have made it impossible for Adam to eat the fruit, and impossible for Israel to break his covenant. If Israel had not repeatedly sinned and broken the covenant, God would not have needed to make a new one, Jeremiah 31:31-34 - one that was signed by Jesus, Matthew 26:28.
If it was imperative that certain people follow Jesus, he would have dragged them instead of inviting them and saying "follow me".
If what you have said was true, Jesus would not have said that people will be punished for rejecting God - he would have said "you can only repent if you are one of the 'elect', and if you haven't been chosen by God and can't repent, then you won't be punished for not doing so."
That message does not appear in Scripture anywhere.

Lifelong_sinner said:

Peter and paul both talk about being predestined for salvation, they talked about being of the elect.

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God knows who will be saved and who won't, because he knows whether a person will hear and respond to the Gospel - not because he has said "oh yes, Jonny bloggs; I haven't chosen him."
We were made by God for God, and are only completely fulfilled when we are reconciled to him. It's what we were made for and what God desires for us, our destiny - but that doesn't mean it's inevitable that we will all get there because God allows us to choose whether or not to participate in this. He wants us to love him because we know the alternatives and choose to love and follow him, not because we are robots and were programmed only to love and follow him. What parent would want their child to say "I love you" because they had a knife to their throat and there was no other option?

God gave Adam a choice, knew what his choice would be and that sin would come into the world and already had a plan of salvation. Genesis 3:15 says that a descendant of Eve's would crush the serpent's head - a prophecy of Jesus defeating the devil on the cross. Peter called Jesus the spotless lamb, chosen from before the creation of the world, 1 Peter 1:19-20.
God provided a Saviour before we had even sinned, as he knew what our choice would be.

Humans were created to know, and belong to, God their maker; for animals, trees, even angels that kind of intimate relationship is not possible. God wants all those he created to know him, 2 Peter 3:9.
Scripture does not say that God created everyone, chose only a few people to know him and then has condemned, or will condemn, the rest for never doing what they were not made to do.
Scripture also does not say that God says "I think I'll save that one, but I don't like the look of him/don't feel like saving her".

Bottom line: saying "I can't repent because I'm not one of the 'elect' is not Scriptural and sounds like an excuse - i.e "not my fault God, you made me like this."
If it were true, God would not punish you for doing something that he always planned for you to do - i.e sin and reject him.

Look @Lifelong_sinner, even if you do believe in a more Calvinist point of view or perspective more strongly, etc, It is still "only God who knows, and not you", etc...

So how do you know who or how you are meant to be or what you are to become, etc...?

You don't, so...

So stop acting like you do, etc, OK...

And start acting very much more like you don't, OK...

Because that can open up a "whole never ending field of unending possibilities for you", etc, the fact, and it is a "fact", that you just don't know, etc...

Doesn't matter if God does or not, cause you don't, etc...

So start acting more like you don't, OK...

And that you never will until after all of this is all well way finished, and all completely over with, etc...

So start acting more like you do not, etc, (know, etc), OK...

You could be destined to become a "giant", in some things, or in some certain areas, etc, you just "don't know", etc...

Or God's destiny on your life could be greater than you ever dreamed, or very much more than you can ever even possibly imagine of right now currently, etc...

You just "don't know", etc...

Regardless if and or not God already does or not, etc, (knows, etc), you don't yet, etc, and won't until way way after the very very end, or this all very much way well over with, etc...

So start acting like that, etc, OK...

God Bless!

Lifelong_sinner said:

ok, i think i understand the confusion here. This is often difficult for me to explain, so i apologize if im not making sense. Repentance is something i have tried and tried, but it never works. For instance, say i repent before i goto bed at nite, wake up the next day, sin the same sin again. Rinse, then repeat.
Asking for forgiveness is good, but if you know that you will be doing the same exact sin tomorrow, i feel its kinda pointless to even confess. I believe in first john, he says if we practice sin, we arent saved. I would call accepting the same sin daily as practicing sin. But i also know that i cant stop it. I want to, i have tried, and fought, and prayed daily for God to help me. And after a couple of years without making any progress, you lose the will to fight. At this point, i just let it happen. I cant fight it anymore, i dont have any fight left in me.

hopefully this explains it better. And to go back to the original post concerning ravi and his sexual sin, i assume he was in the same spot im in now. And that is why i wonder if he made it to Heaven. If he didnt, then i know i have no chance either.

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OK, I'm going to recommend this, though others may disagree with me, etc...

Think about this for a minute or for a little while, etc, OK... Think hard and deep about all the sins that you regularly commit pretty regularly, etc, from the largest to the smallest, and also maybe from the easiest and/or most difficult to get rid of, etc, and then make a list, etc...

Then take that list and put it somewhere where you can always just take a look at it, or regularly look at it and/or see it, etc, and then think about the ones that might be the easiest to take care of first, or nip in the bud first, etc, and "only take one or two at a time", etc, and then work on those/these for a little while, etc, practicing stopping them or preventing them or not doing them for a while, etc, and then, when you begin to feel pretty confident about those or haven't seem to have done them in awhile, etc, then go back to your list again, and maybe take one or two others after that, etc, that still might be or seem pretty relatively easy at this point maybe for awhile still as well, etc, and then work on those for a little while, on stopping them or not doing or committing them or preventing them for a while, etc, and just work on making some slow, gradual forward progress, etc, and see how that works out for you for a little while, etc, taking the easiest ones first, and then eventually working your way up to the more difficult ones last, etc, if you really want to make some forward progress in and with your battle with sin, etc, and just try out this method, etc, OK...?

And pray about it regularly, etc, but this can be just simply talking to God honestly about it/them from time to time, etc, and in fact, I think He much much rather prefers that anyway, etc...

Also resist the urge to get too down about things, or wallow in self-pity, OK...

Cause it really does not impress God any, etc... So avoid doing that, OK...

Be and stay humble always, but don't always be "way way down" always, OK...

And again, cause it really does not impress God any, etc...

Cause He'd much rather you just level with him, and just talk to Him just like a person, but talk to Him honestly also as you are, or just as a person, etc, and even standing up on your own two feet when you are "just talking to Him", cause I think He actually likes this, etc, as long as it's not at all ever arrogant, etc...

You've said nothing else is ever working for you, so I'm suggesting you try something more like this maybe for a time maybe, etc, and see if helps you make any kind of progress, etc, even if it's slow, or very slow, only maybe eventual gradual forward progress, etc...

And/or also this way, or if you try it this way, etc, you will also be able to celebrate "little victories" along the way, and it may just give you enough strength to tackle some of the more difficult ones later on, etc...

And only retain a consciousness of only the ones (sins) you are only currently working on at the time only, each and every time during that time only, etc, and just "try this" for a little while, etc, and see if you don't start to make some eventual headway, or gradual forward (and upward) progress eventually, etc...

This is just a suggestion that probably won't be for everybody, but you said nothing else is working, and that you tried everything else, and that your tired of fighting, etc, so I'm just going to suggest maybe this for "just you and just you only", and "in your own only specific case only", etc, OK...

Anyway, try it for awhile, and let me or us know how it goes, K...?

Oh, and you can also PM about this also anytime and and as often as you want to if you decide to give it a try and try it, OK...?

And I would even say "please PM me" about this if you would if you decide to take it on or try it if you would please, etc, OK...?

Anyway,

God Bless!

Lifelong_sinner said:

Thank you, that is a different approach that i will indeed have to try.

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God Bless friend... And please, feel very, very free to PM me whenever, and I do mean "whenever", and as often or not often as you want to, or at any time, etc, OK...

Peace,

God Bless!

Lifelong_sinner said:

ok, i think i understand the confusion here. This is often difficult for me to explain, so i apologize if im not making sense. Repentance is something i have tried and tried, but it never works. For instance, say i repent before i goto bed at nite, wake up the next day, sin the same sin again. Rinse, then repeat.

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Yes, but what I'm saying is that it depends what you mean by repentance and it depends whether or not you show it.
As I've said before, saying a quick, "I'm sorry" isn't it.

I don't know exactly what your sin is (and don't need to), but for example: if it involved reading inappropriate content magazines, clicking on inappropriate content websites and watching inappropriate content films, then repentance would mean turning away from those things, not doing them.
So if you repented of reading inappropriate content magazines and had a collection of them; throw them out. Better still, shred/burn them.
If you walked past a inappropriate content shop on your way to work; go by a different route.
If you look at inappropriate content websites, delete them all from your computer and click on positive sites - what about charity websites that give an opportunity to give time/money to those who have no food/homes/clean water/education?
As it's a longstanding habit it may be hard to break, but I'm sure you could. How about making a determined effort, asking for God's help and then fining yourself for every time you slipped up?

If you are saying that you just think about inappropriate content and never do anything; thoughts are harder to break, but again, with God's help, you could.
How about thinking about the command to love God with all of your mind, and then determine to only put good things into your mind?

The big obstacle, as I see it, is the will.
I've read stories of people who have achieved all sorts of things because they wanted to and were determined to - weight loss, overcoming a negative/toxic childhood, overcoming people's low opinion of them, managing a disability and not letting it define them. Look at some of the Paralympians, or children who may have been affected by Thalydidamide and grew up without any arms/legs. When, and if, someone wants something badly enough, and has the determination to do it and succeed, people can achieve all sorts.
If you had that kind of determination to be free from inappropriate content and a better, more wholesome person AND you had God's strength and Spirit; just think of all you could achieve and all the good you could do.

Yes, it might be a struggle, and you might fall sometimes, but, with God's help, I am pretty sure that you could do it.

But you have said that you don't want to and enjoy your sin - so much so that if you think about hell you say "so be it". Really? You'd risk spending eternity without God just for the sake of a cheap thrill now?

Lifelong_sinner said:

Asking for forgiveness is good, but if you know that you will be doing the same exact sin tomorrow, i feel its kinda pointless to even confess.

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Yes, you're right.
Saying "I'm truly sorry Lord and repent of my sin" is not only pointless if you have every intention of doing it again the next day, it's actually pretty insulting and makes a mockery of it all. You might as well go to bed saying, "Lord I know my sin is wrong and that you laid down your life for sin; but I don't give a toss, I'm going to keep doing it anyway. "

Lifelong_sinner said:

But i also know that i cant stop it. I want to, i have tried, and fought, and prayed daily for God to help me. A

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In a previous thread, or maybe even this one, you wrote that you enjoyed your sin.

DO you want to stop it?
What are you going to do to show that you are serious and remove temptation?
Or when you say "Lord help me" are you expecting the desire to be taken from you, over night, with no effort on your part?

You just wrote, "when you know that you are going to be doing the sin the next day" - how about determining not to do it? How about saying to yourself, "tomorrow will be the first day without that sin in my life"? Or, "tomorrow I will only look at inappropriate content once, instead of half a dozen times"?
Like I said, if we are talking about thoughts and changing thought patterns, that will be harder than going off and burning a few magazines. But if you really are determined, I am sure you will do it - in time and with God's help.

It's a bit like New Year's resolutions/giving stuff up for Lent, If someone says "I'm going to give up chocolate", and then forgets, or gets tempted and has a tiny bit; the secret is to acknowledge their slip up, forgive themselves and then carry up resisting chocolate - not throw their hands in the air and saying "well I've failed and ruined that resolve; I might as well give in and have a couple of bars."

Lifelong_sinner said:

And to go back to the original post concerning ravi and his sexual sin, i assume he was in the same spot im in now. And that is why i wonder if he made it to Heaven. If he didnt, then i know i have no chance either.

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No one knows if Ravi (whoever he was) is in heaven; only he and the Lord know if he really repented. You can't know about him, but you can know about you.

Lifelong_sinner said:

What exactly are the 3 criteria for being saved?

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find other brothers to make a responsibility team to work together with.