- Feb 5, 2002
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To achieve genuine forgiveness and deep reconciliation, know these ways of apologizing.
Ineptitude or meanness, a slap in the face or inappropriate anger … there are so many offenses that can hurt a relationship, if not break it. But it often happens that in spite of asking for forgiveness, the previous harmony does not return. And we may not understand why. According to author Gary Chapman, the reason is simple: we don’t speak the same language of apology as the other person. But it can be learned! “There are five fundamental aspects to apologies. We have called them the five languages of apology. Each of them is important. But people will tend to connect better with one (or more) in particular,” he says in his book,The Five Languages of Apology. Knowing them allows you to use the most appropriate language(s) for each individual and situation.
When you use the primary language of apology of those around you, you help them truly forgive you,” says Chapman. “If you don’t talk to them in a way they will understand, they won’t be sure you’re being sincere.” As a spouse, as a parent, as a friend or colleague, learn to decode their language of apology in order to achieve genuine forgiveness and deep reconciliation.
Continued below.
The 5 languages of apology: Which one is yours?
Ineptitude or meanness, a slap in the face or inappropriate anger … there are so many offenses that can hurt a relationship, if not break it. But it often happens that in spite of asking for forgiveness, the previous harmony does not return. And we may not understand why. According to author Gary Chapman, the reason is simple: we don’t speak the same language of apology as the other person. But it can be learned! “There are five fundamental aspects to apologies. We have called them the five languages of apology. Each of them is important. But people will tend to connect better with one (or more) in particular,” he says in his book,The Five Languages of Apology. Knowing them allows you to use the most appropriate language(s) for each individual and situation.
When you use the primary language of apology of those around you, you help them truly forgive you,” says Chapman. “If you don’t talk to them in a way they will understand, they won’t be sure you’re being sincere.” As a spouse, as a parent, as a friend or colleague, learn to decode their language of apology in order to achieve genuine forgiveness and deep reconciliation.
Continued below.
The 5 languages of apology: Which one is yours?
