There's this interesting dichotomy about the state of the church today. A lot of us are (rightly) concerned about the "fake Christians," the lukewarm, the "easy-believeism" folks. And it's a good thing; we need to teach truth alongside grace. That can be a really hard balance. There are movements going on that are seeking to combat the idea of complacency and prosperity gospel that are going on today, and it's a good thing that they exist.
But I think there's a problem there, too.
These responsive movements can be a little harsh. I understand the thought process: if people are being complacent and abusing grace and settling for a feel-good faith with no sense of discipline, then discipline is what they need. Discipline, rebuke, reality, tough love, red pill. But that often turns to dismissal, nastiness, and a sense of superiority masked as humility. It's very easy, in our correction of people, to view them as the enemy instead of our brothers and sisters. We end up being judgmental in a non-constructive way. "Are you one of
those fake Christians?" And we guilt-trip people and make them feel bad instead of winning them back with love. Sometimes, in our efforts to balance truth and grace, we go too far and stop showing grace.
I've seen this bleed into how we deal with people who are struggling and doubting. We too easily can end up like Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar: accusing our brothers and sisters, urging them to seek correction instead of giving them a hand when they need it. Sometimes we do need to repent of sin when we're struggling. We often do. But we also need to let people know that it's okay to be honest about their feelings and struggles because God shows us time and time again that He has grace for those seasons.
All of this is meant well. And, again, I in no way mean to imply we shouldn't exercise rebuke or hard truth when it's needed. But I think we need to figure out how to engage with people and figure out what
that specific person needs to hear. That's what Jesus did; there were times when He rebuked and times that He healed. What helps you grow in Christ may not be what your brother needs.
One of my favorite pastors puts it very well
here and
here.
Grace and truth means truth
and grace. It's a tricky balance, and I don't expect people to do it perfectly because we're all learning and growing in Christ. But we should do the best we can to help our brothers and sisters. People are all projects, works in progress, but they're also people.
