May 31, 2017
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Okay. I've had a boyfriend for almost a year. I love him so much. But I've been having a problem: I really want to sleep with him. I think about it all the time. I try not to, but my mind just drifts there. And the weird thing is that it's not, like, lust. I've felt lust a lot before, but this is different, ya know?
The thing with lust is that it's wanting to just have sex, like an itch that needs to be scratched, but this is different. It's more like I want to be close to him and make him happy. I want him to hold me, and he just makes me feel so safe, in a way that I've ever felt before. I want to be with him forever, and I know he feels the same way about me.
I'm not sure how to stay abstinent. I know that he would never try to push me into anything I didn't want to do, but, what if one day in the future, I wanted to? How could I stop?
I know that God will protect me, and I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I know that adultery is a sin. I keep thinking: "So God wants us to wait until marriage but what is marriage?" My sister lives with her boyfriend and never plans on getting married, because she says that marriage is just when two people promise one another to eachother, and that you don't need to sign some papers to be married.
I am very lost and need some help. Please share advice on how to stay abstinent if you have any. I refuse to take a break from him, and I am extremely uncomfortable talking to him about that kind of stuff. I love him so so much, and I want to be prepared for this when the time comes.
 

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It depends on what denomination you are in because in Catholicism for example you will need a priest for your marriage to be seen as official but when it comes to Christianity I'll just say this. Modern day legal marriages and weddings are a big part of culture and they make people happy but they are not necessary for a marriage under God, and a lot of legal marriage systems do push people down sinful paths of being provocative because it takes long to do. When there is a tradition imposed in a culture to make it super expensive and out of reach for a lot of people it's going to disuade people from getting married and unfortunately they do tend to sin. The reality is a marriage doesn't need to be recognized by the government to be official under God, signing papers is not what binds you together. It just needs to be between you, your loved one and God, making vows to eachother, staying together. If you are really serious I recommend having a personal marriage ceremony where you promise yourselves to eachother, but once this is done and you're married under God you're always married so be absolutely sure you take it seriously. That way if you give into temptation before cultural necessities like a wedding and legally recognized marriage at least you will have prevented it from being a sin.
 
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