Shalom Windir,
Shalom.
I'm sorry to hear about the time you are going through. It sounds like a confusing and trying time, so I can imagine your frustration.
My frustration comes partly from that I overcomplicate things. My spiritual position used to be neutral, of the 'perennialist' sort, and a few years ago I could not possibly se myself as a Christian. But that changed 'unvolitionally' with time as I familiarized myself more with Jesus. It wasn't by my will but rather happened to me.
Am I right in thinking you only recently became a believer?
I have been a professing Christian for approx. 1 year.
If so, I would recommend going on serious time out with the Bible. This should be your top priority, before anything else, to really understand God, His Word and His ways. Everything else will fall into place thereafter.
I have spent some time with the bible, and it didn't take me long to accept that Jesus is true. I intend to explore the bible more with time, but I wouldn't say scripture is my main injunction toward spirituality. I'm more interested in metaphysics and have come to believe in Christianity (as a whole) through philosophical inquiry.
Now secondly, your next priority needs to be baptism and, most importantly, baptism in the Holy Spirit. After your "Bible Retreat", you need to seek this above all things.
Yes, I view baptism as a crucial ritual to become adopted by God. I view this as my top priority right now, because I feel literally sick by not being baptized.
Again, please check out that page if you don't know where to start on the Scriptures. It helped a new believer friend I know and you might also find it useful.
Stay focussed on Him and His Word, and you will find rest soon.
Love & Shalom
Thanks!
Dear Friend, the thing you seek is the Only Eternal God. It's not a religion and it's not a denomination. It's Him, the Eternal One. I agree that seeking Him in the pages of the Bible and seeing Him through His Son Jesus Christ is important - do this first and foremost. The rest of your steps will seem brighter and your path easier to see after that. We are here for you.
Thank you and I agree. I have always been predisposed to the 'inner' path, but I have come to realize that no man is an island, and that I am in need of community as well personally.
I think it is very important, especially given your loneliness and estrangement from your father, that you find a loving home in God's church. Find a church that loves you and will grow you spiritually, that is more important that dotting every i and crossing every t. Second, pray for your father. When he comes after you, tell him you love him. When he condemns you tell him you love him. Respond only in love to him. Visit an Orthodox church, visit a Lutheran church, visit the church down the street keep visiting until you see the love of God in that church. Anything less than love is a clanging gong.
I can reveal that I have found a church - namely the catholic one. Or rather, the catholic church chose me. I have been drawn toward it for a longer time and I feel at home there. Its organizational structure have been beneficial for me.
Windir, you can be a Christian without changing your name, so I'm not sure that part or your situation has to be seen as a problem.
It was more that I actually wanted to change my 'muslim' names to Christian ones, but I have found it superfluous for now. Besides, I do actually have a Christian name as well. I actually did change my name for a while but took it back later because I thought it was disrespectful toward my father and it didn't feel right. A Christian is not a name after all. But yes, these things tend to happen to ethnically mixed persons as a part of cultural confusion. Diversity is always easy for those that are not actually part of it.
Moreover, and directly to the point, in being a Christian, one doesn't have to conflict with one's relatives. While we as Christians should remain resolute in our faith, we are to be peaceable as we do this, so there shouldn't be any reason for family conflict and there should be no reason for deep conflict. Is your dad an abusive father, by chance? Because if he's not really Muslim but a liberal, I'm not seeing why there HAS TO BE a problem or conflict.
No my father is a liberal minded person who likes esoteric religion (like sufism) but not the organizational variety. But there are some things we cannot choose. I have come to realize that there is a default conflict between Christian and muslim cultural, because the one has Jesus and the other does not. And this has real spiritual consequenses.
Prayers, my friend. My interest in the Catholic Church has kind of damaged my relationship with husband and family. It's not fun. But I wouldn't trade what I have now for any amount of amiability, or acceptance. It is not easy, and I hear you on this. But once you take a step to be firm and committed, the courage and peace that Christ gives you is awesome.
Thank you, it looks like we might be fellow catholics in due time.
I would strongly encourage you to look into Eastern Orthodoxy over Lutheranism. There are tonnes of really awesome Eastern Orthodox Christians on this site, who can help you.
I have, I was not far away from becoming Orthodox, but ultimately fell away from it. Although I have Greek heritage, I have no connection to Greek language or culture. I visited the Romanian Catholic church and liked it but it was too alien to me. Catholicism is at least historically well established in Sweden, and I am able to participate in Swedish church service, which is my first language.
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