Guidance needed. I'm Catholic. She's Mormon. Is a relationship ever gonna work?

Catholic 240 said:

I'm in a relationship with a woman that I see a potential future with. We both want to communicate, commit, and trust oneanother wholeheartedly. We didn't really bring up the topic of faith untill recently, she had always said she was Christian and that suited me. Recently she revealed that she is Morman. Though she states that she believes and accepts Christ as her savior and has been saved and believes herself to be a Christian practicing the Mormon faith, it dosen't sit well with me. I'm sure not converting to Mormonism, and she states that her Mormon faith has made her who she is and she will never be a Catholic. I brought up the topic of converting to Catholism and her response was if I try to convert her, she'd be changing herself to suit my needs, not hers. I don't know what to do. We're both not budging on Faith, and I want her to see the light, and if things get serious, have a relationship rooted in the Christian faith. Would an interfaith relationship work? Looking down the road if we get that far, what about the saccrament of marriage and the upbringing of kids? Can a Catholic and a Mormon have a successful, meaningful relationship?

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All things are possible to him who believes. Mark 9:23 If you are both devoted children of God I would say yes it is entirely possible that it could work as long as you don’t put too much emphasis on the things that don’t really matter for salvation the end result is the same.

You both are loyal to your respective churches. However, it sounds as though neither of you is determined to argue the other one into submission on this matter. That's good, and it suggests that you two can have an interfaith relationship and make it work.

That doesn't always happen, but there are many marriages spanning decades in which it does, so why not the two of you?

I wouldn't foresee you two going together to worship services, but there are plenty of opportunities for being together on the usual holidays, etc. just so long as each of you respects the others faith, even while disagreeing with it.

By the way, this ought to be much easier to pull off than the situation of a union between a Christian and a Muslim, Jew, or Atheist, but the smart people who are in such relationships make them work, too.

One piece of advice is called for in addition, though. You say that the issue has only recently come to the front, meaning that you need to live with it and deal with it for some time in order to see if the both of you are willing and able to live in the way I have described. Taking the time to find out if the theory is viable for you two is important; good intentions will not be enough.

Albion said:

You both are loyal to your respective churches. However, it sounds as though neither of you is determined to argue the other one into submission on this matter. That's good, and it suggests that you two can have an interfaith relationship and make it work.

That doesn't always happen, but there are many marriages spanning decades in which it does, so why not the two of you?

I wouldn't foresee you two going together to worship services, but there are plenty of opportunities for being together on the usual holidays, etc. just so long as each of you respects the others faith, even while disagreeing with it.

By the way, this ought to be much easier to pull off than the situation of a union between a Christian and a Muslim, Jew, or Atheist, but the smart people who are in such relationships make them work, too.

One piece of advice is called for in addition, though. You say that the issue has only recently come to the front, meaning that you need to live with it and deal with it for some time in order to see if the both of you are willing and able to live in the way I have described. Taking the time to find out if the theory is viable for you two is important; good intentions will not be enough.

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Yes I would agree that attempting to convert each other would most likely have bad consequences for their relationship. I think the really tough part is what religion will the children be? Sending them to two different churches will send very different messages and in some cases contradicting messages. Still not impossible tho but I would definitely expect some hurdles on the path ahead so anticipating them beforehand and having patience when they present themselves is probably a must. Jesus is patient with us so we should be patient with others.

You guys are making this about churches, church traditions and buildings and organizations, part of which is made by men. If you share in Jesus Christ at the heart level because you both have Him in your hearts, you love each other and Jesus and share Jesus then you can make it. If you brandish your churches ( the real church is in your hearts anyway) at each other as weapons, then rightfully so, you will never make it. That's nothing but the blind leading the blind and hopefully that won't happen. Christ at the center of your lives is the answer, from that anything is possible, maybe not easy but possible..

bible says the body of the saint, sanctifies the body of the non-saint, in marriage. also the bible says, do not joint with an unequal yoke

Catholic 240 said:

I'm in a relationship with a woman that I see a potential future with. We both want to communicate, commit, and trust oneanother wholeheartedly. We didn't really bring up the topic of faith untill recently, she had always said she was Christian and that suited me. Recently she revealed that she is Morman. Though she states that she believes and accepts Christ as her savior and has been saved and believes herself to be a Christian practicing the Mormon faith, it dosen't sit well with me. I'm sure not converting to Mormonism, and she states that her Mormon faith has made her who she is and she will never be a Catholic. I brought up the topic of converting to Catholism and her response was if I try to convert her, she'd be changing herself to suit my needs, not hers. I don't know what to do. We're both not budging on Faith, and I want her to see the light, and if things get serious, have a relationship rooted in the Christian faith. Would an interfaith relationship work? Looking down the road if we get that far, what about the saccrament of marriage and the upbringing of kids? Can a Catholic and a Mormon have a successful, meaningful relationship?

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My advice to you is very different from most of the comments so far. Catholicism and Mormonism are VASTLY different belief systems. A good marriage is very difficult with two individuals whose beliefs are very similar, so you would be starting out with a major strike against you.

One thing that you need to understand is that Mormon beliefs stray from the Bible significantly. Are you willing to stray from God's word and accept their unbiblical beliefs?

You are right to be concerned about children. How would they be taught about religious matters? This situation would be confusing for children at best. Where would they attend church? What would you teach them about God, salvation, heaven, etc.? Like I said, these two belief systems are very different. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't understand these belief systems.

I hope that you will earnestly seek God about this matter. If you attend church, I would advise you to talk to one of your church leaders. I pray that you will receive God's guidance.
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I've seen interfaith relationships work but primarily when both parties are mainly culturally religious. When either or both are devote, particularly when children are concerned then it causes many struggles and possibly a complete break in the relationship.

lambofgod43985889 said:

bible says the body of the saint, sanctifies the body of the non-saint, in marriage. also the bible says, do not joint with an unequal yoke

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I don’t think they are unequality yoked since they are both in Christ.

That isn't certain. However, being yoked together is usually understood to mean being inhibited by the other faith (or lack of one). That isn't implied with this inquiry.

Interfaith relationships are a challenging, even more so if one or both parties are especially devout. Adding children to the mix makes it even more complicated. This doesn't mean its impossible, but that you will have many struggles and things to work through that couples from the same faith practices avoid.

A couple thoughts...

Sacramentally, things get tricky, as if memory serves, the Catholic church doesn't recognize Mormon baptisms. I think you have to get approval from the Bishop to proceed, and there are some limitations as to what can and cannot be done.

It used to be that a priest could only marry interfaith couples if they agreed to raise their kids in the Catholic church. Some priest's still hold to this, albeit Canon law is quite a bit more relaxed than it used to be.

My guess is the Mormon church might have something similar as far as the marriage itself as well as how to raise children. These are not insurmountable issues, but they are significant barriers that require a lot of thought and time for both parties to process and work through.

The other thing is that faith walks are unpredictable... so even if you were at the same place now, and can't ever see changing, you might well be at vastly different places a couple decades down the road. My late wife went from the evangelical teachings of Ray Stedman (who was her pastor for nearly 20 years) when we got married to Catholicism. Since I'm neither... we had a lot of issues to work through continuously over the years. The thing is, I encouraged her growth in Christ and her pursuit in both of the above, despite the fact there were some pretty big doctrinal issues I took issue with.

BNR32FAN said:

I don’t think they are unequality yoked since they are both in Christ.

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who could assure that, only god

It sounds like she is bending over backwards to accommodate your religion or, as they say, meeting you more than half-way.

What's the problem with that? Is it that she resisted being tutored about the Catholic faith?

Catholic 240 said:

As for the kids (if any) she says it's right not to tear them from one religion. It is sounding to me like she wants myself to be Catholic, have kids be Catholic, and for her to be Mormon, and somehow all co-exist in peace. I just don't understand.

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You need to figure out the puzzle with the children, for both practical and canonical reasons. See this article.

That said, although the marriage would not be sacramental, Catholic and Mormon values are generally not as different as many people assume. The biggest issue might be the conflicting practical obligations that flow from Catholicism and Mormonism (although since I do not know too much about Mormonism I can't gauge this danger with much accuracy).

zippy2006 said:

That said, although the marriage would not be sacramental, Catholic and Mormon values are generally not as different as many people assume.

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Actually, they are. While there may be some similarities--there being strong moral values, a sense of being the only true church, etc.--the theologies and religious practices of the two are miles apart.

Albion said:

Actually, they are. While there may be some similarities--strong moral values, a sense of being the only true church, etc.--the theologies and religious practices of the two are miles apart.

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How so? Granted, I said "values," not theology or liturgy, but some examples would still be needed.

Oh, where to begin?

For Mormons, a whole different set of scriptures, a different explanation of Christian history, rejection of the Trinity, different conceptions of the afterlife, quite different ideas concerning the sacraments and what is the authority for doctrine, completely unique polity, radically different worship styles...the list just goes on and on, frankly.

Albion said:

Oh, where to begin?

For Mormons, a whole different set of scriptures, a different explanation of Christian history, rejection of the Trinity, different conceptions of the afterlife, quite different ideas concerning the sacraments and what is the authority for doctrine, completely unique polity, radically different worship styles...the list is goes on and on, frankly.

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And how do these things affect values? I mean, they might. And they might not.

Well, what I said earlier (and I may not have been clear enough there) was to the effect that both of these churches are morals-conscious. They both stress personal moral values. But the values themselves are hardly similar. You have two churches that require disciplines and personal devotions and rituals, but they are quite unlike one another.