Help with my relationship with God.

I've grew up in a Christian home but always never really got it. I got baptized because I thought that is what you were supposed to do. I was good in Sunday school but it was like God and church was a part of everyday life that really didn't matter. I'm trying to get in a relationship with God but have so many doubts. One day I'll believe and tearing with joy from his message, and other days I just don't pay attention to him. I'm addicted to inappropriate content and need help but have trust issues. Help.

I have heard these things. But I am afraid that if I wait, I may wait to long and may get killed or God will come back and it will be to late and I will have died trying but still be damned.