Christian dad's rules for dating his daughter (Numbers 30:5)

ChicanaRose said:

*Typo in the title: I meant Numbers 30:5
"But if her father prohibits her on the day he hears about it, none of the vows or pledges with which she has bound herself are binding. The LORD will absolve her because her father has prohibited her" (Numbers 30:5)
Christian dads:
What are your rules for a young man who may want to date your daughter?
According to Numbers 30:5, how much say do you feel that you have in her dating and marriage choices?

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Firstly the passage in Numbers 30:5

To me to concept of a woman not being being able to speak on her own without there being an opportunity of a male (father of husband) having to power to override her decision is couched in a patristic society, and carries extreme complexity to invoke in the egalitarian west.

The question ultimately is determined by how you understand the text, either as descriptive (describing how things were back in the day) or prescriptive (determining how things should be for ever).

In the New Testament when Mary consented to act with God in a particular way in the incarnation I don't get the feeling that either Mary's Father, or her Betrothed, were needed to consent. The woman spoke on her own, and so it was.

I think my dad (and mom!) have done a really great job instilling values in me & helping to refine my judgement. They've never had any rules for boys dating me bc they trust me to make my own rules. I wouldn't date somebody who wasn't of good character or disrespected me. They've never had any objections. My dad really likes my boyfriend a lot actually.

If a father is going to control a woman's choice in marriage, is he also going to provide for her financially and educationally until she gets married? What responsibility will he have if she finds herself in a loveless or worse, a marriage with a less than ideal Christian man?

The next verse gives the same authority to her husband, too:

6 But if she should be indeed married, and her vows be upon her according to the utterance of her lips, in respect of [the obligations] which she has contracted upon her soul; 7 and her husband should hear, and hold his peace at her in the day in which he should hear, then thus shall all her vows be binding, and her obligations, which she has contracted upon her soul shall stand. 8 But if her husband should straitly forbid [her] in the day in which he should hear her, none of her vows or obligations which she has contracted upon her soul shall stand, because her husband has disallowed her, and the Lord shall hold her guiltless.

I do not think the context is about dating... its more general about her promises, deals, vows, probably also in business etc.

blackribbon said:

If a father is going to control a woman's choice in marriage, is he also going to provide for her financially and educationally until she gets married? What responsibility will he have if she finds herself in a loveless or worse, a marriage with a less than ideal Christian man?

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Good point, and I would guess, that's the only way he could control it.

Kenny'sID said:

Good point, and I would guess, that's the only way he could control it.

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Certainly. When women were sent to work in the 20th century (in Europe because there were not enough men after the WWII, in the USA because huge companies wanted to have cheap labor), the traditional family according to God's order started to dissolve.

Philip_B said:

Firstly the passage in Numbers 30:5

To me to concept of a woman not being being able to speak on her own without there being an opportunity of a male (father of husband) having to power to override her decision is couched in a patristic society, and carries extreme complexity to invoke in the egalitarian west.

The question ultimately is determined by how you understand the text, either as descriptive (describing how things were back in the day) or prescriptive (determining how things should be for ever).

In the New Testament when Mary consented to act with God in a particular way in the incarnation I don't get the feeling that either Mary's Father, or her Betrothed, were needed to consent. The woman spoke on her own, and so it was.

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You have that backwards. Mary consented but no one objected. It is unknown what would have happened if her father objected.

myst33 said:

Certainly. When women were sent to work in the 20th century (in Europe because there were not enough men after the WWII, in the USA because huge companies wanted to have cheap labor), the traditional family according to God's order started to dissolve.

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Women lost their jobs after WWII because the men came home from the war. They went to work because there were no men to do the jobs and they needed to be done. Post WWII was the era of the "happy housewife" who cooked dinner wearing pearls.