Is I Corinthians 7:9 really good advice?

MercyandFaith said:

It's the verse where Paul says that if Christians are feeling strong sexual urges, then it is better to "marry than to burn with lust." But this verse seems like it could lead to all kinds of bad outcomes - to put it bluntly, if two Christians are horny for each other and get married so as to get the sex out of their system, so to speak, then that doesn't address other issues - what if they're incompatible as marriage partners? What if there are major character flaws? etc. etc.

Marrying for the sheer sake of getting sexual urges out of the system sounds like a recipe for disastrous marriages.

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I think it runs along the lines of loving who you marry and not so much marrying who you love. Which is always fleeting and runs out of steam more often than not.

MercyandFaith said:

It's the verse where Paul says that if Christians are feeling strong sexual urges, then it is better to "marry than to burn with lust." But this verse seems like it could lead to all kinds of bad outcomes - to put it bluntly, if two Christians are horny for each other and get married so as to get the sex out of their system, so to speak, then that doesn't address other issues - what if they're incompatible as marriage partners? What if there are major character flaws? etc. etc.

Marrying for the sheer sake of getting sexual urges out of the system sounds like a recipe for disastrous marriages.

Click to expand...

"what if they're incompatible as marriage partners? What if there are major character flaws? etc. etc. "

There are other teachings that cover these "issues".

MercyandFaith said:

It's the verse where Paul says that if Christians are feeling strong sexual urges, then it is better to "marry than to burn with lust." But this verse seems like it could lead to all kinds of bad outcomes - to put it bluntly, if two Christians are horny for each other and get married so as to get the sex out of their system, so to speak, then that doesn't address other issues - what if they're incompatible as marriage partners? What if there are major character flaws? etc. etc.

Marrying for the sheer sake of getting sexual urges out of the system sounds like a recipe for disastrous marriages.

Click to expand...

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"Marrying for the sheer sake of getting sexual urges out of the system sounds like a recipe for disastrous marriages."

He doesn't say this "sheer sake", you do. Does not say nor suggest this is the only or main reason to get married. Doesn't say one is to marry anyone they lust after. In the context of a man and woman who are believers.

He's talking to believers ... Building on knowledge they already had about choosing a spouse and what marriage is all about and how marriage partners are to treat one another. It's dealing with lust .. and if one is experiencing lust (desire for sex) and are married it's not lust. Because sex in marriage is permissible. This does not dismiss on how married couples are to treat one another in marriage, sex or otherwise.

1 Corinthians 7

Principles for Marriage

7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

In the context of marriage including everything else that goes along with being married.

MercyandFaith said:

It's the verse where Paul says that if Christians are feeling strong sexual urges, then it is better to "marry than to burn with lust." But this verse seems like it could lead to all kinds of bad outcomes - to put it bluntly, if two Christians are horny for each other and get married so as to get the sex out of their system, so to speak, then that doesn't address other issues - what if they're incompatible as marriage partners? What if there are major character flaws? etc. etc.

Marrying for the sheer sake of getting sexual urges out of the system sounds like a recipe for disastrous marriages.

Click to expand...

Well, I'm not 100% sure that your interpretation of this verse is wholly accurate. I think there is application to what you are saying given some certain circumstances; but if someone is finding themselves unable to stop "hopping into bed" with just about anyone they run into, there's a serious spiritual problem there. And I don't see that situation as being what this verse is talking about.

Outside of that though, there are other scenarios.

You can have people who just want to be married and are looking for a partner for the sake of companionship. You could have people who want to be married and are looking for a partner because they want to have a family. You could have two people in a relationship that is headed in the marriage direction; and for practical purposes, they should just get married.

".... they can not contain..." "Contain" is also translated "be temperate" and it could be temperance in a variety of areas; not just for the sake of sexual gratification.

Also "burn"; for purposes of literal translation means "to ignite" or "set on fire". But in a couple of places, it's also translated "angry".

So for example - someone who wants to have children. They should not be "burning" of desire, or resentment because of verse 7: "every man has his proper gift of God" and Paul, who at that point didn't have any desire to be married.

It is suspected that part of what was going on in the Corinthian church that stirred up a lot of confusion is that they believed they lived immediately in the "last days". So there was very real tension over practical issues like - do I get married / do I not get married? Do I buy a house? How much should I save up for "retirement". Practical questions like that were also part of the cultural backdrop.

Obviously though, I agree with you; you have to be prudent if you want to get married and also be praying for help if you find you got problems with self control. "No temptation has taken you.... that God has not provided a means of escape...." (And that can be a whole other topic!)

MercyandFaith said:

Marrying for the sheer sake of getting sexual urges out of the system sounds like a recipe for disastrous marriages.

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Elsewhere, Paul makes it clear how we need to get rid of lusts. So, I consider he does not mean for someone to obey what lust is driving the person to do.

But > maybe > Paul also knows how younger couples are not perfect. But they possibly have been praying and they know they belong with each other. And they would love to honor Jesus by staying celibate . . . like Jesus and Paul. But they are finding how God is not giving them that self-control. If God wants them to become one in marriage, He will not give them self-control to stay physically separate for the rest of their lives with each other. So, may be Paul means that two young Christians who belong with each other can test prayerfully about if and how God is giving them self-control.

Paul pointed out that there was a factor to consider before deciding if one should marry. Thus he or she can give attention to “the Lord without distraction.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) However, with some single persons their passionate desire might put them under dangerous strains and temptations. For those “… it is better to marry…” but in maturity, soundness of mind and guided by scriptural counsel. Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:1-6.