My husband and I have been married since 1994 and separated since late 2003 so more than half the marriage now. We are both nearing 50 years old. We have a 14-year-old son. In 2003 when our son was 2 months old my husband dropped me and the baby off with my parents on Christmas Eve and we haven't lived together since. He visited us once in a while from January 2004 to July of 2010. We haven't seen him since then. He pretty much told me he hated parenthood and he hated me for refusing to have an abortion after I got pregnant due to birth control failure (we hadn't planned to have kids). Haven't heard from him at all since November of 2016, his cell phone number now belongs to someone else. He lived with his parents for a while but I found out in 2007 that he was involved with his father's hospice nurse and after his father died he got involved with his old high school girlfriend. The two of them have been living together now for several years and I'm told they have a child together although I've been unable to confirm this and I kind of think the child is hers but not his. His mother, who was paying the child support for him (he paid it but sent it through her) died in January 2017 and since then the checks have come through Western Union and been sporadic.
Most people are now wondering why I'm not divorced from him. Well, he doesn't want a divorce because he's a millionaire and he doesn't want to take the financial hit. I haven't filed for divorce because several years ago I discovered Rejoice Ministries and the Covenant Movement which believe that you should "stand" for marital restoration no matter how long and no matter what the circumstances. They don't believe in divorce for ANY reason including what is considered Biblical grounds of adultery and abandonment. But I've had other people tell me that those teachings are false and I find myself incredibly confused. I don't feel like God has released me from my marriage but I've been told that if that were the case I wouldn't feel so torn, and that this confusion is coming from the devil trying to trick me into staying in my marriage when God would accept a divorce in my situation. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and a lot of it is due to feeling trapped in a marital limbo I can't control. I'm dealing with financial issues my husband could clear up easily if I took him to court, such as massive medical bills for my son that he should be held responsible for. But my pastor has counseled me to leave him alone rather than aggravating him and pushing him even further away. My pastor also says that he believes my marital stand to be an incredible testimony to young couples in my church that might be considering divorce for much less grounds than I have. I don't know what to think. I just know I'm miserably unhappy to the point where I've even considered signing myself into a mental hospital temporarily.
I keep thinking there must be something I can do to save my marriage, but how do you save a marriage where there is zero contact and hasn't been for years, and you don't even know where the other person is anymore? And yes, I pray about it. My parents pray about it. My church prays about it. And 14 years after he left me, he's still gone. How long am I supposed to wait? I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone...
My husband is not a Christian, he is what he refers to as an "intellectual atheist." He doesn't believe in God because God doesn't make sense to him. But he's also told me since his father died that even if God exists he would rather be in hell with his family than in heaven without them. And his parents weren't Christians either.
Most people are now wondering why I'm not divorced from him. Well, he doesn't want a divorce because he's a millionaire and he doesn't want to take the financial hit. I haven't filed for divorce because several years ago I discovered Rejoice Ministries and the Covenant Movement which believe that you should "stand" for marital restoration no matter how long and no matter what the circumstances. They don't believe in divorce for ANY reason including what is considered Biblical grounds of adultery and abandonment. But I've had other people tell me that those teachings are false and I find myself incredibly confused. I don't feel like God has released me from my marriage but I've been told that if that were the case I wouldn't feel so torn, and that this confusion is coming from the devil trying to trick me into staying in my marriage when God would accept a divorce in my situation. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and a lot of it is due to feeling trapped in a marital limbo I can't control. I'm dealing with financial issues my husband could clear up easily if I took him to court, such as massive medical bills for my son that he should be held responsible for. But my pastor has counseled me to leave him alone rather than aggravating him and pushing him even further away. My pastor also says that he believes my marital stand to be an incredible testimony to young couples in my church that might be considering divorce for much less grounds than I have. I don't know what to think. I just know I'm miserably unhappy to the point where I've even considered signing myself into a mental hospital temporarily.
I keep thinking there must be something I can do to save my marriage, but how do you save a marriage where there is zero contact and hasn't been for years, and you don't even know where the other person is anymore? And yes, I pray about it. My parents pray about it. My church prays about it. And 14 years after he left me, he's still gone. How long am I supposed to wait? I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone...
My husband is not a Christian, he is what he refers to as an "intellectual atheist." He doesn't believe in God because God doesn't make sense to him. But he's also told me since his father died that even if God exists he would rather be in hell with his family than in heaven without them. And his parents weren't Christians either.
