So far as it looks from your own posts, you have been totally deceived by a false gospel and/or false teachers/ and/or false teachings ,
(as shown by your posts directly contrary to Yahweh's (God's) Word).
Oh, He is Perfectly Faithful and True and Merciful, if you are willing,
but if you are not, then Jesus will lament over you as He did over Jerusalem because they were not willing to accept Him.
Yahweh can even and has forgiven gays, but only if they repented in line with His Word.
Yahweh even called and chose the Apostle Paul, when he was still Shaul,
an enemy of the Ekklesia going about seeking their deaths.
So Yahweh can forgive you, if He Pleases to, if you are willing to call on Jesus to be healed and saved if you did not do so already.