The benefits of platonic relationships

Unix · Jan 31, 2018

You judge me but are completely clueless about actual figures. If I would actually put effort into both working AND being married fairly soon, I'd loose about $160,000 during 28 Years. So I'd have to make AT LEAST $225,000 from part-time work 25% of full-time pace, i.e. about 10 hours a Week. Sounds like a high salary, I'm not sure I can get a salary that high.
Now how does THIS sound?
So why try? How to motivate myself to loose money?
Oh yeah, a dowry - not at all the same money as the above though - would be the only money not paid in vain.

Note the above is NOT about me paying anything.
I would loose that much while NOT paying anything.
So how does it sound now?
I'm glad if You'll tell me that's peanuts, because perhaps it only sounds disproportionate to me and not to most people!

Citanul · Jan 31, 2018

ThisIsMe123 said:
Well, if isn't specifically 50%, then it's a good chunk of the pie. If you'll look it up, you'll see that.

That's true - a lot of marriages do end in divorce. But my objection to the 50% claim is partly professional (I'm a statistician, so I do react to incorrect reporting of data), but mainly because that number does seem to shape some people's opinions about marriage e.g. "Why should I get married when it's so likely to end in divorce?", but the reality is that most marriages go the full stretch.

Paulie079 · Jan 31, 2018

Unix said:
You judge me but are completely clueless about actual figures. If I would actually put effort into both working AND being married fairly soon, I'd loose about $160,000 during 28 Years. So I'd have to make AT LEAST $225,000 from part-time work 25% of full-time pace, i.e. about 10 hours a Week. Sounds like a high salary, I'm not sure I can get a salary that high.
Now how does THIS sound?
So why try? How to motivate myself to loose money?
Oh yeah, a dowry - not at all the same money as the above though - would be the only money not paid in vain.

Note the above is NOT about me paying anything.
I would loose that much while NOT paying anything.
So how does it sound now?
I'm glad if You'll tell me that's peanuts, because perhaps it only sounds disproportionate to me and not to most people!

To be honest I have no idea what you’re talking about or what planet your calculator comes from.

ThisIsMe123 · Feb 1, 2018

CFCurmudgeon said:
To be honest I have no idea what you’re talking about or what planet your calculator comes from.

Yeah, sometimes these threads go off on a tangent...and it becomes more of who can argue better. lol

High Fidelity · Feb 1, 2018

Unix said:
You judge me but are completely clueless about actual figures. If I would actually put effort into both working AND being married fairly soon, I'd loose about $160,000 during 28 Years. So I'd have to make AT LEAST $225,000 from part-time work 25% of full-time pace, i.e. about 10 hours a Week. Sounds like a high salary, I'm not sure I can get a salary that high.
Now how does THIS sound?
So why try? How to motivate myself to loose money?
Oh yeah, a dowry - not at all the same money as the above though - would be the only money not paid in vain.

Note the above is NOT about me paying anything.
I would loose that much while NOT paying anything.
So how does it sound now?
I'm glad if You'll tell me that's peanuts, because perhaps it only sounds disproportionate to me and not to most people!

How do you work that out?

Getting married is not only a tax break in the U.S. from what I remember, but provided you're like most people and marrying someone that's working full-time, you're basically doubling your income, minimum. It makes affording a home and all that jazz so much easier.

Paulie079 · Feb 1, 2018

High Fidelity said:
How do you work that out?

Getting married is not only a tax break in the U.S. from what I remember, but provided you're like most people and marrying someone that's working full-time, you're basically doubling your income, minimum. It makes affording a home and all that jazz so much easier.

Yep, filing as married is the generally most tax-advantaged status you can get, and children provide additional benefits. The income aspect is huge too.

blackribbon · Feb 1, 2018

NurseAbigail said:
Before marriage find out the person's...
Hygiene habits - shower everyday? every other day? Toothbrushing??? - morning only or morning and evening?
Laundry - do you do your own laudry or does your mom? When do you do laundry? Everyday or at end of the week?
Money - how fast do you swipe that card? any savings? debt? Do you like thrift shopping? Is walmart okay to you or do you prefer high end shopping?
Food - do you cook? do you eat outside? food likes and dislikes? adventurous? bland taste? salty taste? sweets? fastfood?
Room - how often do you clean it?
Friends - childhood friends? good friends? bad friends?
Enemies - does anyone hate you? were you part of organized crime in the past?
Work - do you love your job??? Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Family - is the mom agreeable? any father figure?
Emotions - how do you deal with stress? anger? happiness?
Personality type - extrovert or introvert
Hair - if gets bald will you still love each other?
Weight - if gets heavy one day for circumstances that is just out of the person's control e.g. pregnancy, possible thyroid or health problems...will you still love each other?
Fun - what do you like doing on your free time?
Space - how much space do you need to recharge? How much smothering are you comfortable with?
Politics - this is a BIG one...Republican or Democrat
Religion - another BIG one..
Child Rearing - how will you discipline the kids?
Pet peeves - how annoying can you get?

lol then decide whether you can tolerate living with the person for the rest of your mortal life

These are sort of important but can't be addressed like a check off list because what you think you want or how you react isn't really necessarily how you really will feel at the time. Often the things you think are "cute" while dating, are the first things you find annoying a year or two into marriage. And it is impossible to imagine how you will feel when you are first handed your first child...suddenly, things that you didn't think mattered so much DO matter.

I think it is more important to find out how you resolved differences and what you value or don't value through spending time together. Also, if there are important issues that you feel are "deal breakers" like church or politics or child rearing, then those need to be discussed and not assume that your sweetheart automatically agrees with you. And you better love your "other" enough that you commit to working through the differences as they present themselves.

blackribbon · Feb 1, 2018

Unix said:
You judge me but are completely clueless about actual figures. If I would actually put effort into both working AND being married fairly soon, I'd loose about $160,000 during 28 Years. So I'd have to make AT LEAST $225,000 from part-time work 25% of full-time pace, i.e. about 10 hours a Week. Sounds like a high salary, I'm not sure I can get a salary that high.
Now how does THIS sound?
So why try? How to motivate myself to loose money?
Oh yeah, a dowry - not at all the same money as the above though - would be the only money not paid in vain.

Note the above is NOT about me paying anything.
I would loose that much while NOT paying anything.
So how does it sound now?
I'm glad if You'll tell me that's peanuts, because perhaps it only sounds disproportionate to me and not to most people!

Don't get married. Marriage is not a financial deal. It is a relationship that should add to your life. But if you want to look at it from a financial side, married men make more money than single men.

Young married men make more money than single men do

blackribbon · Feb 1, 2018

Personally, I value my platonic friends...both male and female. The male friends, that are just that....friends with no romantic relationship...give me a male perspective in my life and just add a whole new dimension. However, you have to be careful how handle these friendships when you are married so that they don't gut it or become a comparison to the one man who is supposed to be the most important one in your world.

SarahsKnight · Feb 1, 2018

ThisIsMe123 said:
They said that there's more of a benefit to a platonic relationship between opposite sex that is unselfish. That thinking of each other in an unconditional fashion in a brotherly/sisterly fashion is unselfish as opposed to just showing up to a singles event and being "on a mission" to find a mate

I think there's some truth in that.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · Feb 1, 2018

-letting money go with the anticipation that it will be given back

or contrast any platonic relationship with that of a relationship that's in marriage and let the lols fly. do it. i want the laughs

Paulie079 · Feb 1, 2018

Bortsss said:
-letting money go with the anticipation that it will be given back

or contrast any platonic relationship with that of a relationship that's in marriage and let the lols fly. do it. i want the laughs

Sometimes I wonder what you smoke before you log in.

#trueconfessions

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · Feb 1, 2018

CFCurmudgeon said:
Sometimes I wonder what you smoke before you log in.

#trueconfessions

lol. i used to hit lines of cocaine while posting here. #trueconfessions

but after i finally got saved, i gave all that up. and now i dont do anything except drink. and i keep that at bare minimums. not even enough to get a buzz

The benefits of platonic relationships

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Well, when exactly do you mean?

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