Polyamory

Never heard of this label. Sounds like its another term for an open relationship? Or maybe friends with benefits?

What do you think I think? Lol..

Consenting adults = no issue. I don't find it against any morals of mine.

I think it is amoral as long as everyone is in the relationship consentually.

I think that when you bring sex into it with more than one person then it could get complicated. Surely better stick to one sexual partner? Because however friendly you may be with the 3rd or 4th person, sex creates a special attachment when its with someone you love. And that attachment should only be towards one person. That's my view.

As a Christian of course I don't believe in any sort of sex outside marriage but am just trying to see morally why God might held that view

I don't think that it is strictly immoral, but is rather a matter of self-knowledge and prudence. You'll need to ask yourself if you have the emotional temperament to handle such a relationship, and if the arrangement as practiced might create problems for you down the line.

5 Things I Learned as a Mormon Polygamist Wife | Cracked.com


eudaimonia,

Mark

I'm going with "amoral." Provided, of course, that all involved are adults and consenting.

Not moral for a married person. When you're married, it's not just your sexuality that belongs to your spouse, it's your heart as well.

madaz said:

So, do you think polyamory is moral?

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No. It's just a new name put on old things; greed, lust and promiscuity. I've known a few people who advocate/practice it, and all of them have either been users or unassertive people who just put up with it for fear of being left.

But the appetite-worshippers will continue to practice the worship of their appetites as is their nature.

Amoral. I know several people that are and the ones that are in it just for sex are shunned by the ones that are not into it for just sex. It tends to work out in that community.

Inkfingers said:

No. It's just a new name put on old things; greed, lust and promiscuity.

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How so?

I've known a few people who advocate/practice it, and all of them have either been users or unassertive people who just put up with it for fear of being left.

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All of a few isn't impressive research. Other people can come up with more anecdotal examples that contradict yours.

But the appetite-worshippers will continue to practice the worship of their appetites as is their nature.

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I don't see how such "appetites" are any more sinister than a couple in love who have pre-marital sex.


eudaimonia,

Mark

Eudaimonist said:

How so?

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So you cannot see how the desire for multiple sexual partners is not greed, lust and promiscuity?

Erm, okay.

Inkfingers said:

I've known a few people who advocate/practice it, and all of them have either been users or unassertive people who just put up with it for fear of being left.

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I've known quite a few at this point (for some reason...I attract interesting people), and I admit I do find that the case at times. I have also known poly folks that truly loved their partners, all three or four of them, and none of them seemed to feel used, none were particularly unassertive, etc. While I can't quite grasp it personally, I could see it was working for them.


And I don't think it is necessarily quite the same as an open relationship. A poly relationship could be open, but it doesn't have to be.

Inkfingers said:

So you cannot see how the desire for multiple sexual partners is not greed, lust and promiscuity?

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I can see how having even one partner might be greed, lust, and/or promiscuity. It all depends on one's attitudes towards the relationship.

However, the thing about polyamory is that it shouldn't be confused with swinging couples, one night stands, and the like. The attitude found in polyamory isn't necessarily like that.

It's difficult for me to understand on a personal level. I could never exist within a polyamorous relationship. I'm not big on sharing when it comes to romance. However, in my discussions with polyamorous people, it seems like they can share while still being meaningfully involved. It's not just about sex to them.

I don't know how they manage this. My best guess is that it is something a bit like a sexual orientation. They are oriented towards more than one person instead of only one.


eudaimonia,

Mark

Eudaimonist said:

However, the thing about polyamory is that it shouldn't be confused with swinging couples, one night stands, and the like. The attitude found in polyamory isn't necessarily like that.

It's difficult for me to understand on a personal level. I could never exist within a polyamorous relationship. I'm not big on sharing when it comes to romance. However, in my discussions with polyamorous people, it seems like they can share while still being meaningfully involved. It's not just about sex to them.

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This has been my impression as well.

[Just an FYI, for those that know a bit or have noted my comments on my own relationship, it kinda started out in a similar manner to a poly-esque relationship: my now-partner was in an open relationship, and we kind of tread a fine line for a few months before he left his now-ex and we became truly, "officailly" and romantically 'exclusive'. But! Even in those months, it was still sexually exclusive and, frankly, romantically as well. So it was less poly as just a hangover from his previous, maybe?]

I've known quite a few at this point (for some reason...I attract interesting people), and I admit I do find that the case at times. I have also known poly folks that truly loved their partners, all three or four of them, and none of them seemed to feel used, none were particularly unassertive, etc. While I can't quite grasp it personally, I could see it was working for them.

And I don't think it is necessarily quite the same as an open relationship. A poly relationship could be open, but it doesn't have to be.

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maybe the difference btwn poly and open is that poly is already implemented with more people, and open is an agreement between a couple?

There are so many grey areas, it seems some of this needs to be taken case-by case.

-For instance, a married couple that has close friends of any gender. That seems normal and acceptable.

-A person who is dating multiple people because they haven't decided who they like most. In my opinion, this is selfish and trying to make sure they don't lose an opportunity. Not respecting the other partners enough.

- The physical relationships that put others at risk for disease, especially when they didn't agree to be part of a germ pool.

- Pregnancies resulting from casual benefit-friendships, where children suddenly appear and need to be raised. The child seems to be an afterthought, and might be raised with parental attitudes that the kids were not part of the plan.

I'm glad you asked the question, bc I just heard that a local woman had two boyfriends who knew about each other, and the situation seemed very awkward. Everyone seemed to want that situation.

People can act like it's ideal, but I'd guess there will always be one person who cracks first, and says they can't take it any more.

I'm not a fan of poly-anything.

Just kind of a boring person. I love my wife and really am busy pleasing her. Double the work is going to be too much work. Not to mention all the issues with jealousy and other domestic issues when people share the same anything.