I am in a real dilemma. The worship leader at our church removed one of our worship team members when we moved into a new sanctuary. This person had played on our worship team for 12 years. She had always played on the floor in front of our platform but finally we had a handicapped accessible platform so this would be the first time she would be able to play on the platform with the group. At first, the worship leader told the team that this person was not playing on rhythm, but later in a meeting with the worship leader and the pastor it was mentioned that the person was removed because she was a distraction. This person that was removed sits in a wheelchair. She has cerebral palsy. I wrote a letter informing the board of the disability discrimination that I feel like has occurred but so far nothing has been done. Do I let the congregation know? How does discrimination end without someone being an advocate? If I tell people is it gossip? What do I do? I have been reading scriptures about if you know of a sin and you allow it to go on then you participate in that sin, but I have been taught not to gossip also. What do I do?
Gossip or defending ethics?
- Thread starter nursec
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You went through the proper channels, and showed the pastor that there are other angles to consider. If anything, write to the individual elders, whose job it is to attend to matters like this.
It was offensive for him to suggest she was a distraction, and the heart of the law protects her right to be there. But I don't think the offense needs to be stirred up -- it would put her in an awkward position where she would probably bow out humbly, or even leave because too much attention was focused on her rights when she just wanted to serve.
If you do tell others, I think you should ask her first, to see how she wishes it would be handled. Otherwise she could be tangled up in something she doesn't want to happen.
It is good of you to stand behind her right to be included fairly.
It was offensive for him to suggest she was a distraction, and the heart of the law protects her right to be there. But I don't think the offense needs to be stirred up -- it would put her in an awkward position where she would probably bow out humbly, or even leave because too much attention was focused on her rights when she just wanted to serve.
If you do tell others, I think you should ask her first, to see how she wishes it would be handled. Otherwise she could be tangled up in something she doesn't want to happen.
It is good of you to stand behind her right to be included fairly.
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Thank you for responding. The board members have not changed anything yet. One of the board members did tell me that the worship leader is the authority over our music and it is her decision to make so I do not believe that they will correct her on the matter. I have removed myself from the worship team because I do not feel right playing when a person in a wheelchair cannot. She has asked me to forgive and not get angry about this. She says that she has fought these kinds of actions all of her life. I did tell the pastor and the worship leader that I will not lie if someone asks me why I am not playing anymore so people will most likely ask. I will continue to pray about this situation. Thanks again for your advice.
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Not to me. My family does not think so either. Her worship is beautiful to me because it takes everything she has to play the Kabbas or the shakers. Her hands are weak and crippled. She told me that when she plays it is physical therapy for her and she doesn't have pain while she plays. When I watch her play, it makes me want to be a better worshiper. I think to myself if she can worship through all she has been through then I surely should worship and praise God for his goodness to me!
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ForJesusChrist
Follower of Christ
I feel she was discriminated against. You are doing the right thing standing up for her. And God Bless you. Great choice to leave the team, due to you not feeling right about it. Stand up for what you believe.
God Bless
God Bless
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Yes. Always important to stand up for what is right. Frankly I feel appalled at the actions of this church. Christians aren't supposed to treat one another like this
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It has been a real heartbreak for me, especially now with the pastor and board knowing the details. My feeling is that since we are in a new sanctuary that we are trying to be trendy and only have perfection in our appearance and sound. The worship leader went back to school and received her music degree recently and it seems like she has been even harsher on the musicians every since. I did not mind the constructive criticism towards me and my playing the keyboard but when she did this to the handicap person it really disturbs me and I cannot in good conscience play on the platform. I am a nurse and if something helps with pain that it is important. We have drums, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, 2 keyboards, and 5 singers on the platform. You cannot hear this handicaps shaker so I knew that it was not because she was "off rhythm". This handicap lady worships with every ounce of energy she has. To get to church is a big effort. Her husband straps the wheelchair with a crank into the back of their van. The strap broke one Sunday and she rode her wheelchair across town to get to church and her husband followed her with the van. They are an amazing couple.
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Inkachu
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It's not gossip. You're defending someone who seems to have been legitimately wronged. But I agree that you should approach the woman yourself, explain that you've already contacted the board and nothing was done, and ask her if she would like someone to support her in seeking further action. She may feel that it's not worth the battle, and ask you to simply leave it alone.
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graceandpeace
Episcopalian
You did the right thing. Frankly, if it were me, I would not want anything else to do with this church.
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She may be off rhythm at times. I could never hear her before because we are a pretty loud band and she was always on the floor. Her hands are extremely weak so she cannot play loud. I can't answer the "distraction" thing. I asked them why they thought that and there was really no good answer. They just say that people were afraid to approach her because of the wheelchair. Mabye I take my comfort around a wheelchair for granted. I do not feel intimidated by the wheelchair because of my profession. I work at a school and we have several handicapped children, some with wheelchairs and some with walkers. It doesn't bother me at all. Aren't we all distracting at time, if we are truly honest with ourselves?
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graceandpeace
Episcopalian
How heartbreaking for the woman.
This is one reason why I find liturgical worship so healing. The pattern of the hymns & prayers brings the church together in focusing on God. There is (ideally) no time for deeming anyone as a "distraction," because each person is directed toward the rhythms of the service.
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Inkachu
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I agree with Graceandpeace. Some of my most meaningful and profound memories of worship were in the more orthodox churches, where you do a lot of reciting memorized things, and call-and-answer type stuff. It sounds weird when I say it that way, but just look it up 
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I have seriously considered leaving. I have attended this church for 22 years. My children were dedicated here. My elderly parents attend here. My 17 year son loves the youth pastor and is very involved with youth program. He will be leaving for college this fall. I may hold on until then at least. I have seen 3 pastors come and go since I have been there so a part of me thinks that I should just wait it out but I know that if I do not forgive and forget this it will destroy me inside. I guess I hold pastors and worship leaders to an even higher standard of loving and caring nature. The handicap lady feels bad that I left the worship team and does want me to forgive. Like I said...she is the christian that we all could look up too!
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Your 17-year-old son might enjoy staying on his own if you leave -- making a smoother transition to independence. But leaving over one disagreement... I suspect you are seeing a broader trend that is disturbing, and shows up in this incident.
It is such a significant statement about the heart of the church, either way the decision goes. If a church is trying too hard to be relevant and energizing, but shuns certain members, then it undermines everything it's trying to accomplish.
Our church had a teen who used the shaker, and was encouraged to stand up front every week. People befriended him and he loved the new friendships. A few years into doing it, he died. The whole church was shaken, and the funeral service was so well attended, they ran out of seats.
It made people happy to see someone who was unflinching, always cheerful and patient, not afraid to make blunders, doing what he loved in worship of God. If we had a rough week, we looked to him for strength.
It is such a significant statement about the heart of the church, either way the decision goes. If a church is trying too hard to be relevant and energizing, but shuns certain members, then it undermines everything it's trying to accomplish.
Our church had a teen who used the shaker, and was encouraged to stand up front every week. People befriended him and he loved the new friendships. A few years into doing it, he died. The whole church was shaken, and the funeral service was so well attended, they ran out of seats.
It made people happy to see someone who was unflinching, always cheerful and patient, not afraid to make blunders, doing what he loved in worship of God. If we had a rough week, we looked to him for strength.
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The parents I mentioned above -- their daughter was encouraged to dance up front, and enjoyed watching the sign language interpreter. One day at home the mother realized her daughter had been making hand gestures a lot, and she looked them up. Her daughter had taught herself sign language by signing with the songs! So the mother took classes in it to catch up with her daughter.
The mother was so grateful that the church had welcomed her daughter's dancing, and also the interpreters... together this helped them improve communications at home.
In another church, a row of residents from a group home liked to attend regularly, so the activities director brought them each week. One guy loved to talk, and the pastor was so generous in answering his questions in the middle of a sermon. It warmed people's hearts to see the kindness shown, and the freedom of expression allowed.
What is the church saying to the people? Is more being said through actions, than through words and well-practiced presentations?
The mother was so grateful that the church had welcomed her daughter's dancing, and also the interpreters... together this helped them improve communications at home.
In another church, a row of residents from a group home liked to attend regularly, so the activities director brought them each week. One guy loved to talk, and the pastor was so generous in answering his questions in the middle of a sermon. It warmed people's hearts to see the kindness shown, and the freedom of expression allowed.
What is the church saying to the people? Is more being said through actions, than through words and well-practiced presentations?
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The pastor before this one was very good to handicap people. We had a man and woman from a group home that use to play the tamborine and the shaker. The pastor before would just hug them and tell them how he loved that they were there. The people from the group home was so awesome to watch worship because they worshipped uninhibited. They did not care what they looked like or what people thought. They would just lift their hands and praise God. Sometimes they would cry and call out to God. When the man died, it was like it was the pastor's own brother who passed away. He did his funeral and he really cried a lot through it. I do wander about the lack of compassion in this situation. I still struggle with the question of whether the congregation should be aware? I think most people think that she has not been playing because she does have to be in the hospital at times. The congregation probably thinks she is just choosing to not be in the worship band anymore.
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