I get harm ocd and worry I might be a killer or go crazy. I was doing decent about not worrying about it and trying to enjoy life despite these fears or analyzing why I am or am not crazy. Today I had a harm thought that was graphic and I'm now worried that I might of enjoyed this thought and got a excitement out of it or something. How do you not analyze these with such a strong subject matter and the possibility that I did In fact enjoy the thought? It's very hard to ignore something like this. What if its not ocd?
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
Update - it's hard
- Thread starter Freedom123
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Chaplain David
CF Chaplain
What you're experiencing is difficult and you shouldn't do it alone. If you do not have a counselor/therapist already I suggest that you get into counseling to help you with your thoughts and fears. Can you do that?
Faithfully,
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K
kaykay9.0
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Try not to obsess about your feelings about a thought. Bizaare thoughts are just thoughts. I think everyone has some random weird thoughts from time to time but if you don't battle OCD, you just let the thought pass and that's the end of it!
Example: tonight at church we were at a meeting and one of my friends was sitting directly in front of me. They had handed out pens to write with. For some reason, the weird thought crossed my mind of outlining the back of her blouse with my fountain pen! How weird is that!? But see, I have my own OCD battles but "harm type" thoughts are not one of them. So I just kinda laughed about it and went on. Am I going to write on her blouse or get some type of pleasure from that-of course not! But I can easily dismiss the thought simply cause this isn't the type of thought I struggle with. But see...I DID have the strange thought and it occurred to me several times. It is when OCD gets involved the trouble starts.
Dr. Phillipson (www.ocdonline.com) gives the example of someone whose OCD fear is that they ran over someone on the way to work and didn't know it. He suggests you just,say to yourself something silly and over the top like, "Yep, I probably ran over half the town on the way in and I will probably mow down the other half going home. Oh, well!"
Also, I second Sacerdote in suggesting you get some professional help if you haven't.
I know it won't help much but I can assure you without even meeting you that this is an OCD battle, nothing real.
(But I know it SEEMS real to you!) that's the frustrating thing--if I told you some of my own but different OCD battles, you would likely think they were silly but they seem real threats to me.)
No, I do not think God wants you in a mental hospital!! This is just part of your current obsession. However, again, I think you could benefit greatly from meds and/or counseling.
Example: tonight at church we were at a meeting and one of my friends was sitting directly in front of me. They had handed out pens to write with. For some reason, the weird thought crossed my mind of outlining the back of her blouse with my fountain pen! How weird is that!? But see, I have my own OCD battles but "harm type" thoughts are not one of them. So I just kinda laughed about it and went on. Am I going to write on her blouse or get some type of pleasure from that-of course not! But I can easily dismiss the thought simply cause this isn't the type of thought I struggle with. But see...I DID have the strange thought and it occurred to me several times. It is when OCD gets involved the trouble starts.
Dr. Phillipson (www.ocdonline.com) gives the example of someone whose OCD fear is that they ran over someone on the way to work and didn't know it. He suggests you just,say to yourself something silly and over the top like, "Yep, I probably ran over half the town on the way in and I will probably mow down the other half going home. Oh, well!"
Also, I second Sacerdote in suggesting you get some professional help if you haven't.
I know it won't help much but I can assure you without even meeting you that this is an OCD battle, nothing real.
(But I know it SEEMS real to you!) that's the frustrating thing--if I told you some of my own but different OCD battles, you would likely think they were silly but they seem real threats to me.)
No, I do not think God wants you in a mental hospital!! This is just part of your current obsession. However, again, I think you could benefit greatly from meds and/or counseling.
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It's absolutely OCD, not the real you. I have harm obsessions too and it can be very scary. The fact that these thoughts worry and scare you show that you do not actually want to harm yourself. Also, when you think of it, the physiological feelings aroused when one is fearful and when one is excited are not that different, so you might have misinterpreted your feelings as excitement when it was really fear or just arousal period. Adrenaline is adrenaline, and how we interpret it is what makes it fear or excitement. I hope that makes sense.
I've been reading this book called The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living and it has a whole chapter on scary images that can pop up in our heads and how to "defuse" them. This book reminds us that images are nothing more than pictures and cannot harm us in any way. It goes on to list ways you can defuse these scary images so they affect you less and less.
I've been reading this book called The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living and it has a whole chapter on scary images that can pop up in our heads and how to "defuse" them. This book reminds us that images are nothing more than pictures and cannot harm us in any way. It goes on to list ways you can defuse these scary images so they affect you less and less.
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