Are you OK with the blurring and mixing of gender roles?

I think people should be evaluated in most contexts as individuals and not as instances of a gender.

They are ultimately meaningless, so they can and should be dispensed with.

KitKatMatt said:

Asked as someone who does both...

Is it something you're comfortable with, whether it be yourself or others? Or maybe you're not ok with it, and would rather stick to what is traditionally behavior or looks that are attributed to your gender?

I personally feel comfortable and empowered by the blurring of the gender lines. What about you?

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Yes. In fact I think it is preferred because you need so many skills nowadays.

I'm not an advocate of roles, apart from what biology imposes (pregnancy, impregnation, often physical strength for example), but not predetermined social ones.

John
NZ

There is no such things as "roles" really. Its more of a man made thing of "Women cooks, cleans... I work!". Even the bible doesn't say anything like the man must work and all that. Me and my wife do anything and everything.

KitKatMatt said:

I personally feel comfortable and empowered by the blurring of the gender lines. What about you?

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Do you have examples of what you mean?

I like to cook, but I don't really think about what this may mean regarding gender roles.


eudaimonia,

Mark

My family is reversed. The females are domineering and the men are reserved. I think that this has countered the traditional view that men are the head of the household. That's not to say that the women are in charge. Everything is equalized. I never got the idea that men were supposed to be in charge of the household. In fact, I sometimes think about it and find myself amused to imagine myself as leader of a household. I watch old movies and the men are expecting to be served by their wives, and the men are always acting like kings of the castle. It's all so foreign.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's okay to mix roles.

No. I think a birth defect should be pitied and a cure should be sought. I do not think others should have to be discomforted by law and being forced to tolerate it as what the law says is equal to them who do not suffer it.

Joykins said:

I think people should be evaluated in most contexts as individuals and not as instances of a gender.

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This. If I identify as a woman and play football, I'm clearly not "acting like a man" because a woman is the one playing football, for example.

Joykins said:

I think people should be evaluated in most contexts as individuals and not as instances of a gender.

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This. Most activities and looks are not (or should not) be associated with a specific gender, especially when the look/activity has a purpose. Sometimes pants are just handier than skirts, so wearing pants should not be filed under "manly" but under "sensible". Same for short hair, cooking, etc.

That said.. there are some looks/mannerisms that serve little purpose besides reinforcing a particular gender identity (like.. wearing bright red lipstick). And since our society still has a binary gender classification for many purposes (bathrooms, how to address someone, etc) it's just a lot easier if people at least stick to a particular set of "trivial" gender identifiers. Or at least don't be offended if people give you weird looks when going into the "wrong" bathroom, or if people are unsure of what pronouns to use, etc

KitKatMatt said:

Since I was brought up in an area where "traditional" gender roles are prevalent, I feel a difference dressing and acting the way I do. And it's a positive difference, because I feel like I'm being myself and not falling into some prebuilt definition.

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I can understand that. I think that people should be themselves and not worry too much about gender roles.

I tend to be reasonably masculine according to local customs, but that is me being myself.


eudaimonia,

Mark

For me being grounded in who I am gives me the foundation to develop characteristics that are not intrinsic to me. I am female, bought up in the feminine, remained true to that nature by choice , culture and experience. My primary roles come into play at first instance, but because I learned different options I have gone forth to develop secondary roles
For example I am a responder( "feminine trait") to things around me, but I have successfully developed initiation ("masculine trait")
For myself, because I am grounded in my feminine role, I find I can blur both roles more successfully because I am more confident from knowing who I am.
I guess what I am trying to say is, the blurring of gender roles is better served when one has a root of who they really are in the first place.

KitKatMatt said:

Asked as someone who does both...

Is it something you're comfortable with, whether it be yourself or others? Or maybe you're not ok with it, and would rather stick to what is traditionally behavior or looks that are attributed to your gender?

I personally feel comfortable and empowered by the blurring of the gender lines. What about you?

Click to expand...

I think half the problem is that we pay too much attention to gender roles to begin with, leading to the idea that somehow people who do non-traditional things are "subverting" them. Personally, I couldn't care less about what gender role I'm supposed to be fulfilling, as I don't pay any attention to them.

SithDoughnut said:

I think half the problem is that we pay too much attention to gender roles to begin with, leading to the idea that somehow people who do non-traditional things are "subverting" them. Personally, I couldn't care less about what gender role I'm supposed to be fulfilling, as I don't pay any attention to them.

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Yeah, this.

To some degree I feel the same way about gender labels as I do about the term "atheist". The underlying concepts - gender distinctions and existence of deities - are both pretty baseless, so the term atheist/subversion of gender roles need not ideally exist. In practice so long as they continue to be highly regarded by society then the label for those who reject them will still persist.

SithDoughnut said:

I think half the problem is that we pay too much attention to gender roles to begin with, leading to the idea that somehow people who do non-traditional things are "subverting" them. Personally, I couldn't care less about what gender role I'm supposed to be fulfilling, as I don't pay any attention to them.

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Exactly.

For instance, I don't particularly care about sports, even though that is often expected of males in modern culture. But I don't care about living up to other people's expectations, so I don't think about that much.


eudaimonia,

Mark

I'll be ok with bringing home the bacon while the wife takes care of the family, house, and hangs out with her girls, and goes to work. I just think it's sorta weird for the a dad to be a stay-at-home dad while the mom brings home the bacon.

I would feel a little emasculated if I had to stay at home and cook while the wife goes to work.

I Eat Pie said:

I'll be ok with bringing home the bacon while the wife takes care of the family, house, and hangs out with her girls, and goes to work. I just think it's sorta weird for the a dad to be a stay-at-home dad while the mom brings home the bacon.

I would feel a little emasculated if I had to stay at home and cook while the wife goes to work.

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While I think it's sad that you wouldn't feel as masculine if you wife's earnings happened to be above yours (as if earning more money is a masculine thing to do), that's absolutely fine. You just have to find a woman who feels the same way and make sure that you recognize that this isn't the best course for everyone else.