Things you wish you had known before your first year of marriage...

Maritimus: My husband would wear you down in a week. He scatters everything, is completely devoid of organization and looks like he rolled out of a homeless shelter most of the time. I have collected a toolbox full of tools off the bumpers of trucks and a hardware store section full of screws, nails, & nuts from the bathroom floor. It is not wise to go barefoot on the deck. I have had more flat tires since I married him at age 42 than I had ever had in my life. I think if too many things match he becomes uncomfortable--B4 I married him I was much like you-HOWEVER He has the heart of Jesus, never holds a grudge, and works from Daylight to Dark everyday counting the Farm work. I had to adjust.

That my Husband would love me in His way not how I thought I should be loved.

That being a Christian did not exempt me from being quite, no, VERY unind to him - a lot.

The advice about remembering our Relationship with God is more important than with our Spouse is good. Things can get so out of proportion and magnified.

I wish I would have gotten rid of a lot of my false expectations about my husband the first year. Once I started breaking those down, I started appreciating him more, and seeing things he was doing right.

A tip: encourage, encourage, encourage. Especially in his line of work.

It seems like emotional talks die down a lot all the sudden, confusing the woman because you talked so much before. (Ex., husband and I talked on the phone for hours, and when married, we didn't talk as much.) You HAVE to schedule time to talk.

Don't stop doing the good habits you had when you were engaged and the first year. Don't ever feel like you have 'arrived' in your marriage, and get comfortable.

LAUGH! Have a sense of humor.

Forgive, forgive, forgive. To me this is the most important!

Good luck, friend!

I wish I'd had more of a vision for exercising leadership, especially spiritually, in the marriage. I would have come in with the idea of being more regular in prayer, Bible reading, and devotional activities. I also wish I would have payed more attention to the Biblical role of husbands and wives, and emphasized that when talking with my wife early on. I would have negotiated some ground rules out that would have helped prevent later arguing. We didn't argue much the first year, but if we'd had a whole philosophy agreed on for how to interact early on, it would have saved us some grief, possibly, during times of international moves, post-partum blues, and other stressful situations. I would also have encouraged my wife to just write that thesis and get her degree more than I did back then. Instead, we went back after we had a child.

It would have been good to know a little bit more about my wife's culture and understand my in-laws a bit better.

I also wish I would have known more about business and economics and local laws. I would have actually gotten a pre-nup only for waiving rights to ownership only of a certain class of real estate in her country. As it stands now, neither of us can own freehold property because I did that. I would have invested in property after the currency took a hit and global pressures eventually brought prices up to levels in dollars probably similar to what they were before the currency crisis.

Our first year of marriage was wonderful all the same. It was very a enjoyable time. Most of the things I wish I had known about the first year of marriage are things that I wish I'd have known to set good patterns for the years that have followed.