So you actually weren't physically disciplined - the discipline was the threat to remove something that you loved. That's exactly my point. There are many, many other ways in which to discipline a child than hitting it.
When we had problems with our middle son this year, some people would have said that a good spanking was due. However, we removed all of his privileges, and told him that he would not be taking driver's ed until we had seen an improvement in his behavior. He was devastated at the time, but six months later he is mid-way through driver's ed because his behavior did improve because he knew it was worth his while to improve. When you have six months to think over something like that, and to consider your behavior and know how to make a difference, generally it doesn't go back to being as bad as before.
That has been my finding in parenting. When our boys have misbehaved, we have sent them up to their rooms - no games, no phones, no distractions - and told them to think it over and come back and tell us what they did, and how they could improve their behavior, and make a genuine apology. (There would also be a punishment attached like a grounding for that evening, depending on severity of behavior.) This kid (middle boy) has always been the most stubborn and the most inclined to point the finger at others, rather than looking inward, so it is very good discipline for him to consider his behavior and he has every time come back with a genuine apology, and admission that he did x and he did it because he was angry (or whatever) and he could have done y instead.
You see, if we had hit him, what would he have learned? That when someone messes up, you hit them. That's it. He would have been only angrier and angrier and most likely would have hung onto the beliefs he had when he indulged in his behavior. But by sending him away for reflection, he had to look into his beliefs and consider whether they were correct. Sure, he could just come back and say "yeah, I thought it over, I was wrong, you were right (meanwhile thinking 'whatever') but I know this kid, and his apologies were always genuine, and his insight was also genuine. So, I'm glad we have done things this way.
In essence, God doesn't punish us. There are consequences. Trust me, I'm almost 50 and I know all about consequences. But his yoke is light. At the end of the consequence is mercy and forgiveness, and his staff and his rod comfort me, they don't belabor me, breaking my spirit. A broken and contrite heart is a different thing to a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart is a good thing - a broken spirit is not.
You don't have to agree with me. That's fine. I just know that the upbringing of our boys has produced one very fine young man who is now 19, and the other boys are heading in the same direction, so 3 out of 3 is a pretty good result, right?
