im new, im an 18 year old guy named michael. there is one thing that really has been bothering me a lot, this is what made me turn to Jesus though and become closer to him. i found out i had aspergers in 2009. and that really made me feel worthless. like i read that most people with that dont have the social skills to get married ,etc. also my mom started saying that it meant i was autistic because its technically a form of autism. this made me feel that im some weirdo with a lot of issues , even though i know "real autism" is a lot worse, it just doesnt make me feel good when she is like that. I just so want to be normal, i pray about it all the time, like constantly almost sometimes,and i think im doing a bit better, but i still have a hard time with a lot of things.
im tired of staying at home every weekend because i dont have any close friends. im tired of watching everyone else have so much fun and stuff while im just at home all the time, i try my hardest to get out and stuff . im tired of being lonely all the time.
2008 and before i was so happy because i thought i was normal and that i would just becoem like everyone else , get married,etc. but then after finding out abotu aspergers and some other things happened in 2009 , ive just not been happy at all. i first went away from god and tried to claim i was atheist.
this lasted several months, i got into doing drugs ,etc. too. i thought it had nothing to do with any emotional pain, but looking back i think that it did .
it got worse , although i stopped the drug thing, but i just started feeling more and more hopeless. i even did self harm before a few months ago, but then i stopped. and wont do that ever again. i then started becoming closer to god and started to feel a bit better. Its like having someone i can rely on . someone who cares
but will god take this away from me ever? or does he want me to have it so that i can fulfill some purpose that would require me to be like this? i dont want to be lonely forever , and i think that unless god takes away this problem that i probably will be. Does god guarantee everyone marriage? If I won't get cured of aspergers or anything like that by God, will he at least give me inner peace about it?
im tired of staying at home every weekend because i dont have any close friends. im tired of watching everyone else have so much fun and stuff while im just at home all the time, i try my hardest to get out and stuff . im tired of being lonely all the time.
2008 and before i was so happy because i thought i was normal and that i would just becoem like everyone else , get married,etc. but then after finding out abotu aspergers and some other things happened in 2009 , ive just not been happy at all. i first went away from god and tried to claim i was atheist.
this lasted several months, i got into doing drugs ,etc. too. i thought it had nothing to do with any emotional pain, but looking back i think that it did .
it got worse , although i stopped the drug thing, but i just started feeling more and more hopeless. i even did self harm before a few months ago, but then i stopped. and wont do that ever again. i then started becoming closer to god and started to feel a bit better. Its like having someone i can rely on . someone who cares
but will god take this away from me ever? or does he want me to have it so that i can fulfill some purpose that would require me to be like this? i dont want to be lonely forever , and i think that unless god takes away this problem that i probably will be. Does god guarantee everyone marriage? If I won't get cured of aspergers or anything like that by God, will he at least give me inner peace about it?
