Insanity!

I got to thinking...as Christians...should such a word appear in our vocabulary? I mean, think about it. Our faith is FOUNDED on insanity! Heck, faith is faith BECAUSE it is insane.

Imagine how it must have sounded to the Hebrews when Joshua said that they were going to take Jericho...

[ Hebrew war council meeting on how to conquer Jericho.]

{Joshua: Ok, here's the plan. You listening? We are going to take ALL our men, and march around the city of Jericho for seven days. On the seventh day, we are going to look at the walls, blow our trumpets...and shout. That should do it!

Council member: Wait, what?! Lemme get this strait...You want us to walk around the walls for 7 days. Then on our 7th lap...you want us to shout?

Joshua: Yup.

Council member: And the walls are just gonna come crashing down?

Joshua: That's the plan.

Council member:...Hebrew...you crazy...}

Or what about the time Moses split the red sea?

[Aron runs up to Moses in a panic.]

Aron: What we gonna do?! It's a dead end! Egyptian army behind us...sea in front of us...WE GONNA DIIIE!

Moses: Aron...ARON! Calm down bro...I got this!

*Moses picks up stick*

Aron: Whatcha gonna do with that?

Moses: Ooooh, nuttin...just gonna split the red sea...

Aron:....

*Aron looks at the Red Sea and then to Moses.*

Aron: So, your telling me...your gonna split the red sea... with THAT?

Moses: Right down the middle!

Aron: Moses?

Moses: Ya?

Aron: You crazy...

}

I could go on for days with dialogs like this...David and Goliath...Samson trying to persuade his parents to give him a hair cut...Lazerus suddenly popping up at the dinner table after being dead for 3 days...Elisha trying to convince everyone that he did not murder Elijah, instead Elijah got taken into heaven in a chariot being pulled by horses made of fire...

So, as Christians, should we be so quick to judge another as insane because they have views that are unorthodox? Or because they see things that we cannot? =/

*Samson looks in the mirror, and notices that he is in dire need of a hair cut...so he rushes to ask his mom for the knife.*

Mother: What do you need a knife for?

Samson: I need a hair cut...

Mother: *gasp!*

Samson: Why do you and dad always do that when I ask for a hair cut?

Mother: Because...Go-, well...I don't think you really need a hair cut...

Samson: What do mean "I don't need a hair cut?" I could walk outside naked, and no one would notice until the wind blows...trust me, I've done it...

Mother: *sigh* Ok, I think it is about time I explain to you why you can't cut your hair...

Samson: *folds arms* I'm listening...

*Mother explains everything to Samson*

Samson:....
Are you serious?

Mother: 100%

Samson: So, you are trying to tell me that...my HAIR makes me stronger then ANYONE else? And it is supposed to be some covanent between you and God?

Mother: Yup...

Samson: Then why don't you grow out YOUR OWN hair? Why you gotta go making covenents with other peoples hair?

Mother: You are the CHOSEN ONE! That's why! Look, doesn't it all make sense now? Remember the time you destroyed the barn?

*Samson has a flashback of accidentally throwing hitting one of the barn walls in a game of touch football...and causing the whole thing to collapse...*

Samson: That barn was about come down anyway...one more good breeze woulda done it...

Mother: Ok, what about the time your friend Jonathan called me fat...and you threw him across the Jordan?

Samson: Anyone coulda done that...Jonathan isn't exactly a heavy wieght...

Mother:...

Samson:....

Mother:.........

Samson:...Ok, I get your point! Don't cut the hair! Gosh!

*Mother smiles*

Samson: Can't I at least get a line up?

Mother: Nope...that counts as cutting...

Samson: CRAP!

*Samson hits the wall, and the house falls down...*

Samson: Um...I'll pay for that...

*Samson then joins the Isreali Army in hopes of getting the money he needed to buy a new house. Saddly, he dies in the call of duty, because some chick convinces him to tell her what his momma said when he asked for a hair cut...*

*Elijah, in company with Elisha, approaches the Jordan. He rolls up his mantle and strikes the water. The water immediately divides and Elijah and Elisha cross on dry land. Suddenly, a chariot of fire and horses of fire appear and Elijah is lifted up to heaven in a whirlwind. As Elijah is lifted up, his mantle falls to the ground and Elisha picks it up.*

Elisha: *Shouts up* Thanks man! I won't let you down!

Elijah: *Shouts down, sounding distant.* You better not!

Elisha: *Shouts back up* Wait a second! How am I supposed to tell people what happened to you?

Elijah: *Sounds even more distant and his voice fades away* Simple! All you have to do is tell them --- ---- ----- ---

Elisha: Tell them what?! Tell them what?! Ain't that a mule? Always leaving me to figure stuff out on my own...When I go to heaven, I am going to Elijah a piece of my mind.

*Elisha heads back to the city were a man approaches him.*

Man: Elisha! How are you! Umm...were is Elijah?

Elisha: *Mumbles* This sum bull....

Man: What was that?

Elisha: Um, he's on vacation...

Man: *looks skeptical* Really? I have never hear of Elijah taking a "vacation"...can prophets even do that?

Elisha: Oh, we do it all the time! Why do you think we go into the wilderness so often?

Man: We? Your no prophet...your just a side kick...hurry up and tell me were Elijah is, I have to ask him something very important!

Elisha: Um, Elijah said that all questions are to come to me...

Man: I see...* Raises voice so that surrounding people can hear* So, Elijah is on vacation and is telling you to fill in for him eh?

Elisha: *rushes to close the mans mouth, but it's too late, a mob has formed and all want to know what happened to Elijah* Shhhh...um...hi guys...

Mob: What have you done with Elijah?!

Antagonistic voice from the crowd: Look! He has Elijah's mantle!

*Mob closes in*

Elisha: Wait! Wait! Ok! Elijah is not on vacation!

Man: Then what happened to him?

Elisha: Weeeeell, you see...what had happened was...

Man: Well?

Elisha: *Speaking quickly* Achariotandhorsesmadeoffire camedownfromheavenandtookbackwiththem...

Man:...

Mob:......

Antagonistic voice: I knew it! He killed Elijah! Stone him!

*Mob picks up rocks*

Man: Wait! I want to make sure I understand this before the rocks start flying! So, do you mean to say...that a chariot made of fire, being pulled by flaming horses, swooped down from heaven...and scooped up Elijah?

Elisha: Um...ya...that's basically it...

Man: And he just GAVE you that mantle?

Elisha: Like it was the flu...

Man: *glares*

Elisha: *stares back*

Man: *grins and laughs* Hawhawhaaaaw! That's Elijah for you! Knows how to make an entance, and can sure make an exit!

Elisha: Sooo...You believe me?

Man: Ya! Elijah told me he was gonna do this yesterday! He just wanted me to make sure you got back ok after he flew the coup! Oh, and he told me to tell you something else...um...it was, "gotcha!"

[Elisha has a flashback]

*Walks up to a sleeping Elijah for with a can of shaving cream, and a feather. He puts some shaving cream in Elijah's hand, and then tickles his face. SLAP! Elijah slaps himself with shaving cream.*

Elisha: Hahahahaha! Hehehehehe!

Elijah: What the?! Why you little! *takes a deep breath* Don't worry, imma get you back. You are not gonna know when or were, but imma get you...

[Elisha comes back to the present]

Elisha: Aaaaaaah! I thought he forgot! Sly old man!

Man: Huh? So, ya, anyway...Elijah said that he could have been taken up into heaven in anyway...he just decided on the whole chariot thing to get back at you...or something like that...Said that it would be so insane that you would have a little trouble telling us...

Antagonistic voice: Hahaha! He sure got YOU!

*Elisha goes on to become a great prophet*







Ok, so it did not happen EXACTLY like that...but, I think you got my point...