Abandonment

What are you feeling right now?

I will pray for you nonetheless.....!

How are you? Keep yelling at God until you get it all out. His shoulders are big enough for your anger, and mine. As well as the anger of parents of dead children, the inhabitants of mangled bodies. If you push anger down it comes out in ways that are bad for you. Cancers, depression. Yell at God until you can't think of anything to yell; then let Him heal you, talk to you. My husband divorced me after 25 years; God is seeing me through this and seeing you through what you're going through.

Martigan said:

I'm done. What I do now is on my own accord. If God wants to be a part of it, he knows where I am.

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Marti (may I call you that?), you're having a crisis of faith. Many of us have been through those. It is possible to come through the other side with a deeper understanding of ourselves and of who God is. Please don't give up totally on Him. Keep that door open, and He truly will reach down and lift you up.

I had a crisis of faith very recently, after having a blessedly peaceful relationship with Jesus for many years. Then several things happened all at once that caused me to seriously question who He is and whether He even really loves me. I saw Him as cruel and harsh. I felt like He had me under His thumb. I was hurt to the core and didn't understand why He could allow things to happen the way they did. (It's too long and complicated to go into the story here.)

I'm not the kind of person who can yell and cuss and do blasphemous things to Bibles. But I was VERY angry at God. I had a habit of sitting quietly with Him each morning on a bench outside in the garden, and that was the first thing that went. I didn't want to visit with Him at all. I basically gave Him the silent treatment.

But one thing I did even while I was mad and sulking in my corner, was I apologized to God, because I was pretty sure I was judging Him very harshly. So even while I was angry at Him and didn't want to talk to Him, I was still apologizing, just in case I was wrong in the way I was seeing things.

And sure enough, eventually I started to see things much differently. And one thing that helped a lot was when a wise friend pointed out that the thing that hurt me the worst had come from the enemy, not from God.

Duh.

There is an enemy, and he is out to destroy us. But I think the guidelines here don't allow me to go down that road very far. You probably know what I'm talking about though.

Anyway, just trying to give you some things to think about. I hope you'll continue to talk to us. I hope you'll give God a chance to touch your heart and bring you out of this.

I'll be praying for you. I'd love to hear a little more about your background if you feel like sharing.

Judy

Martigan said:

I have been a Christian since I was in my early teens. I served God during the last 20+ years. I never expected anything from him except to meet my needs. I've known poverty and prosperity.

Over three years ago, He gave me something that I wasn't expecting, but I was grateful for. I prayerfully asked for guidance and confirmation, and I received it. 9 months after this blessing, it was taken from me. Not only that, I've been struggling with my faith because of it. I experienced a deep abandonment, as if He wasn't hearing my prayers. It got worse, and I started daily ripping into the God i once praised.

Now, all I can do is cringe at disgust at the thought of him. If I try and pray, it ends up being me cussing him out at the top of my lungs. <edit> I stopped going to church. . I don't know how I could have appreciated him so much in the past and now am disgusted at the thought of him.

I used to think that, "Hey, he's God. Who am I to question him?" Now it seems my eyes are opened, and I see we are just ants in his little ant farm experiment. <edit>

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Hi! I have been a Christian for a while. My wife left me without any warning. And the people I loved most on this earth have died. This all happened in a row! Bam, Bam, Bam, Bam!

God is still on the throne. We serve Him, not the other way around. He’s quite jealous (Ex 20:5)!

Love the Blessor not the blessing.

Read Job.

I may sound callous, but I am not. I desire the best for you and pray that God may bind up your broken heart. Just let Him.

Jesus Rules!

Hi Martigan, My name is Hallie. So, as easy as it would be to sit back on my imaginary throne and tell you that God doesn't move, it's us who moves from Him, I cannot say that without a taste of hypocrisy. You see, I've been doing the same thing. I've been rather upset with God as of late due to some IRL circumstances, and have talked to my 'dad' (adopted dad) who is a pastor about this and determined God hasn't moved, I have. I don't know your situation so I won't say it's the same, but I can at least advise you to examine yourself first. I'm here if you care to chat, just shoot me a PM.

I went through a time in my life that I felt absolute abandonment by everyone, everywhere, even my family. We learned that we went outside the Lord's will. This sense of abandonment resulted in suicidal tendencies, and even to this day, the sense of not belonging, not being loved still haunts me to this day. But I also have witnessed the Lord's blessings on my life, the comfort He gives when I seek Him. And He has used these experiences to help mold me and shape me, and is continuing to shape me each day. Do I hate those feelings I get, or the sense I don't belong? Of course I do. But do I know and believe God is there every step of the way? Absolutely. I hope these words have touched your heart, and I will pray for you.