What if your significant other slept on the couch after being with them after a few

Then shut the [wash my mouth] up, for crying out loud! Your snoring makes you sound like a disgusting farm animal!
What will it take for you to shut up. Suffocation by pillow? Huh?
How about we record your snorting, growling and disgusting grunting, then blast it thru the home stereo as loud as it can go when you're trying to sleep?
Just kidding!
Well maybe not...

<--- my least favorite emoticon. Notice the disgusting farm animal-like noises eminating from it when the mouth opens up.
Just repulsive! Utterly and completely vulgar, IMHO...

I feel that once you stop sharing a bed with your partner, it is a bad sign for the relationship. I know that my Dad started sleeping on the couch a couple years before my parents got divorced. Of course, they got divorced because he was cheating on my Mom, not because they stopped sharing a bed.

If my husband starting sleeping on the futon (we don't have a couch), I'd be sad. I'd want to talk to him about why he was choosing to sleep there instead of in our bed. But I don't think that either of us really want to sleep away from the other - its tough enough that our sleep schedules only overlap for a few hours.

Depends on why.

My grandpa had to sleep on the couch after he broke his golf club on the fan. That's how mad my grandma was.

I had to sleep on the couch for reason Fundie already explained.

And sometimes you just have arguments. I've never heard of a perfect relationship. Ever. As long as it isn't a regular thing, it will pass.

It completely depends on the reasons. Snoring can be a major reason as well as sickness and insomnia. If you just don't want to sleep in the same bed as your spouse then there is probably a problem. But if you don't sleep in the same bed for a reason then it's meaningless.

... Just as a note, there was often someone, either mom or dad or myself, sleeping on the couch in my house.

We usually all gathered as a family to watch television in the evening and invariably someone would just be so comfortable they might sleep...

Aw.

My late wife and I spent much of our marriage working different shifts; and we found early on that with one bed one of us was always trying to get to sleep while the other was waking up, and making all the attendant noise of getting up, getting clothes from drawers and the closet ... all that stuff that's just part and parcel of getting the day started. We had to go to different beds, different bedrooms just to get a full quota of sleep.
Were she still alive, we'd still be together but, truth be told, the separate beds and rooms did not help our marriage in the long run.

FaithLikeARock said:

My grandpa had to sleep on the couch after he broke his golf club on the fan. That's how mad my grandma was.

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Priceless.

flicka said:

It completely depends on the reasons. Snoring can be a major reason...

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When I'm exhausted I'll snore, and get my butt kicked onto the couch, which is understandable. My only problem is the couch is five feet long, and I'm six.

My soon to be ex-husband had terrible snoring problems and I had to sleep downstairs in order to get some rest.

It could be a number of reasons, but the only way to find out is to ask and communicate with one another over issues.

She may not realise you are concerned about this and neither of you are mind readers.
Ask her and see what reply you get.

If one thing I have learned from my past relationship is to communicate, I know counsellors and such make a big deal of it, but it is vital to know how each of you feel in stages of your marriage.

I wish my ex would have felt the same about talking to me more about what was on his mind..

Personally I enjoy sleeping alone as well as next to my boyfriend.

The idea of living with someone and sharing a bed with them every night... I think I'd go mad He and I agree that we'd like to live on the same street and see each other every day, but not live in the same house.

I snore... was kicked to the couch many years ago. Such is life.
Can sleeping separate hinder a relationship, sure if you let it.

My biggest issue with it is that I don't have a space to call my own. My husband has his bedroom, my kids have their bedrooms.... anytime they want a few moments of alone time they simply can go to their rooms, shut the door and take a nap, read, listen to music, etc...

I don't have that personal space.

My husband and I rarely sleep in the same bed for more than a couple hours. Maybe because we don't associate the bed as the only place to be intimate we don't think of sharing a bed every time we sleep as being indicative of how intimate our marriage it.

We have always worked different shifts and had different schedules, and had grown used to having a bed to ourselves most of the time. My husband is always a much deeper sleeper- and he's a freakin giant.. okay he's not a giant,... but he's 6'4" and has ridiculously long arms and legs and huge feet, when he's rolls over on me it's really hard to move him away. We don't sleep on the couch we just crawl into a different bed. -- Maybe that's different thatn "sleeping on the couch"

Lilymay said:

I snore... was kicked to the couch many years ago. Such is life.
Can sleeping separate hinder a relationship, sure if you let it.

My biggest issue with it is that I don't have a space to call my own. My husband has his bedroom, my kids have their bedrooms.... anytime they want a few moments of alone time they simply can go to their rooms, shut the door and take a nap, read, listen to music, etc...

I don't have that personal space.

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There's something very wrong with that picture. You need a room if you aren't sharing one with your husband. And your husband, IMO, should know that and have helped you work something out long ago.

Autumnleaf said:

years...

Time to call it quits and move on... or natural progression of a relationship?

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What would Vlad the Emperor have done?

.

Why the dichotomy of "accept things the way they are" and "call it quits and move on"? There's a third option: talk about it. The importance of honest and respectful communication for the health of a relationship cannot be overstated.

A spouse moving to the couch could be for any number of reasons, and could mean marital doom or not. With that said...

AutumnLeaf said:

Time to call it quits and move on... or natural progression of a relationship?

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Assuming it's your own marriage you're talking about here: the fact that you don't already know the answer to this question doesn't bode well. Do you know why she's on the couch?

What have you done to find out the reason?

I would discuss why he's sleeping on the couch. That's the place to start. Some couples prefer to sleep in separate beds, but sleeping on the couch seems like a strange alternative.

I also believe that what happens in the bedroom is sometimes an indicator to what is happening in the relationship. If the person is pulling away, they may be pulling away out of anger, not feel close, etc. If the person is cold, they may feel not appreciated, there may be something you are doing that bothers them that they aren't talking about, they may feel confused about their feelings, or they might simply being dealing with a really hard personal issue, and feel that they can't trust you to let down, to appear weak.

It's best to talk and find out the truth, rather than speculate.

Autumnleaf said:

years...

Time to call it quits and move on... or natural progression of a relationship?

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Nick already sleeps with me when he's here, in my bed and moves after I fall asleep because I snore, so that wouldn't be unusual for me. I don't get the point of your question.