A promise to my Mother on her death bed!!

Mister moderator I hope you will indulge me with this long letter but is was my Mother's wish before she died and it is explained in the letter. I was to send it to family and all else that it might help. Thank you.
Hello everybody :
Yes I use the term everybody because this is kind of a
form letter, as I am sending this to quite a few of you. I
know. You`re saying , " Why is Rick writing me a letter
anyway ?" Not only that but quite a long one too.
I have to write this letter in order to keep a promise
I made to my Mom . Not only was it her Dying request of me
but she had wanted me to do something like this some 3 to 4
years ago. I think if nothing else I have at least peaked
your interest at this point.
I'm writing this as if I'm talking to the whole bunch
of you at the same time. You see some of it pertains to you
and some of it doesn't. Please bear with me.
I don't claim to be a scholar or professional writer,
or anything of the sort. I'm just a regular guy. My computer
helps me with my spelling but with the typing errors and bad
grammar I'm all on my own. Some of you will just have to
over look that stuff and other of you I am sure wont know
the difference. Well after writing this kind of disclaimer
I guess I'll get started.
Oh by the way I want you to above all receive this
letter with the intent that it was written. That is in the
spirit of love and concern for you all, from my Mom, and
myself as well. I will try to get through this with as
little consternation as possible. I know that was a rather
big word so I'll pause for a little while my sister Diane
looks it up
............................................................
.....try looking under "C-O-N-S".........................
................OK? Ok well as I was saying .
Most of you were at the funeral and you know the desire
my Mom had for everyone's spiritual well being. Ooops! Some
of you just said "Oh no!" Sorry about that but this is a
letter to petition you to accept Christ. I make no bones
about that. This kind of stuff gives some of you bad
vibrations. Sorry about that but please just hear me out.
All of you have a philosophy or belief system already
and who am I to tell you what you can or can not believe? I
will not be so arrogant as to think my intellect is so great
that with words I could change your entire way of thinking.
I will do my best with what brains I do have to convey the
truth as Mom and I believe and that is all I can do. In so
doing I will have kept my promise to my Mom. (What would you
do?)(You'd keep your promise that's what you'd do.) Everyone
knows the Christian hypocrite that they can't stand or the
crooked preacher that all he wants is money. I can't stomach
them either. I am a Christian and if I had to defend my
faith by my lifes' history I'd be sunk before I got started.
But thank God that Christianity stands of falls based on
what Christ did and not what the Christians do. Please do me
a favor for the rest of this letter and wipe your mental
slate clean of bad thoughts towards the things of God and
just give me your ear for a few minutes.
You see about 3 to 4 years ago my Mom started talking
about dying and if she got in bad shape I was to promise to
not hook her up to any machines. So I promised. She was also
concerned with how to tell the family about the lord? She
would always get so frustrated when anyone would challenge
her convictions. She could never get her point across in the
way she wanted. She understood things in her heart but did
not have the communcation skills she wish she could have.
She was always after me to write a letter to some of you. I
told her that if God wanted you folks to know about him he
was smart enough to find the best way to do it. I may have
been more right than I had realized.
I know this; that for everything I'm about to propose a
skeptic will have an opposite proposal. For example. About
17 yrs ago my 3 month old son died. For all of us this was a
deep tragedy. For my Mom it was simply too much to bear. For
those of you that know my Mom, you know what I mean. Well in
the time of her deepest sorrow she had a vision. She seen
Matthew in the arms of an Angel. In her words she said she
didn't imagine them, she saw them with her own eyes.
Now a skeptic will say that because of her emotional
overload she had hallucinated what she so desperately needed
to see. I would say that she most wanted to see that baby
back alive again and that it was no hallucination but was
God showing her that Matt was OK, and in so doing eased her
troubled mind.
To instantly cure our suffering he would have to make
Matthew back alive again. God never promised us we would
have no troubles. He did promise to give us strength to get
through adversities. That is just what he did for my Mom. If
you knew my Mom you'd know that, that was probably the only
way she could have been calmed enough to accept what
happened. The skeptic sees it one way the believer sees it
another. One is right and one is wrong.
I write this not to debate anyone but to put forth what
we Christians call the Gospel. I leave the rest to the
convicting power of the Holy Spirit. What's that supposed to
mean, you may ask? I guess the best way to describe it is
like a tugging on your spirit by God to intice you to know
more about this Jesus. It's like a thirst or hunger. You
have a hard time describing it but you know it when you feel
it. The sorrow and grief that was felt at the funeral was
felt by all, but for some of you something more was felt.
You felt that this Lord that my Mom believed in had touched
her and her family during her dying. Maybe you could feel
Gods hand yourself right then during the service.

(This is the rest of the letter)
Some of you don't know what happened the last few
weeks of Moms life. I would like to tell you about what I
saw. This is from my perspective and I write this because it
has been the most spiritually enlightening thing that has
ever happened to me:
Mom had been having trouble with her memory. That is
her short term memory. She was having trouble hearing and
was feeling like she had the flu. She had developed a pain
in her hip. After a few weeks of dealing with this she
finaly went to see a doctor. After a few tests nothing could
be found for her ailment. Some more test were done and still
nothing. Not being on insurance she was hesitant to just
keep taking tests without any results. Finally a time came
when we all decided she need to be admitted to the hospital.
She was in so much pain we had to have an ambulance take her
in. She was admitted to the constant care unit after some
more test showed a critical level of calcium in her blood.
During this entire ordeal she was in and out of an
incoherent like state. She had extreme pain to the point
that it was almost too much to even watch. Some days were
worse than others of course. After much testing the final
results came in. She had brain tumors, tumors in her chest,
kidney, and her hip. The Doctors tried to act hopeful but
they finally admitted that she had too many tumors to deal
with and being the type of cancer it was it could only be a
matter of months or weeks. We had to decide whether we were
to give her the treatments that could prolong her life a
couple of months with all the side affects or to give her a
quality time at home which would be less time. Well I wasn't
there when the decision was being made but I understand that
she some how had known she was going to die and when asked
what she wanted to do she said " I want to go home "
That Wednesday night when I came into her room my Mom
was smiling and had the most wonderful look on her face. She
was talking all the time and acted so excited. I asked her
if she was excited to go home and she said " Yes. But mostly
to go to heaven." That took me by surprise. She said " it's
the easiest thing in the world to do." I said " what is?"
She calmly said " Dying is. It's so peace full and the Lord
took the pain away too." She hadn't had a pill in 13 hours,
they didn't work anyway, and she had no pain. She would roll
over and fidget around with her covers ( did I spell fidget
right, Diane? Go ahead and look it up) She talked about all
the flowers in heaven and then was talking about things I
couldn't understand. I leaned over to give her a hug and
with surprising strength she grabbed me with both arms and
said " I love you very much." That choked me up but I
managed to say " I love you very much too " Then she said "
I was afraid I wasn't going to get to say this " She said
she had gone to heaven last night and seen Matthew, and
Bobby..... and I don't remember who else she said because I
was getting real choked up by then. I wanted to know if she
was rational so I asked her who colored this card on the
wall. She immediately answered me that Elizabeth did it.I
guess I was testing her to see if she was mentally here or
not. Then she started talking about heaven again and about
their being busy but they liked it. For some reason I asked
her if she had seen grandma Parkey. She looked in my eyes
and with absolute clarity she said " she's not up there. No
she's not there." I thought if she was having delusionary
hallucinations she would at least see grandma Parkey up
there. I changed the subject and said " You know Mom, all
those years I teased you was because I love you. You know
that don't you ?" With clear eyes again she said " I know.
You're just like your uncle Ham. He doesn't tell Momma he
loves her but by the things he does she knows." This was
telling me that she was perceptive and knew what she was
talking about. I started to say something else when she put
up her hand as if to shush me and was looking very intently
at the south wall. Her eyes were focused on the bare wall as
she was nodding her head up and down she said to the wall "
I'm going now." then nodding no she said to the wall " Oh.
I'm not going now" Dropping her hand and looking at me she
said in a matter of fact way " I'm not going now but soon" I
can not tell you how that made me feel. I wanted to go too.
I asked " What were you looking at Momma" Looking back again
she said pointing "At that guy over there by that water." I
was the only one in the room. I asked "Who is he?" With a
look only my Mom can give she said " I don't know an Angel I
guess? " "What does he look like?" I said. "He's got a (she
grabs her chin )" I say " A beard. He has a beard?" "Yes"
she says. "A white one. He's just standing over there with
that other guy.....Looks like there hitch hiking. Oh now
he's sitting down by that water." Things were getting
intense for me and I could feel some of the joy she was
feeling. Just then Esther came into the room and Mom started
telling me about this tunnel. That there were a bunch of
people in front of it, in pain, and if they would go through
it the pain would stop. Then she looked me in the eye and
said "Even if they look at you funny, say it." I said " Say
what?" She just repeated " Even if they look at you funny,
you have to tell them." I knew exactly what she meant by
that and that is why I am writing this letter.
I was so glad to hear her say she saw Bobby Williams .
You see Bobby got saved during a Church camp in the Ochoco's
one summer. I guess we were about 14 or 15 yrs old. We did a
little boxing, played a little baseball, did some hiking,
etc.. That night the preacher told Bob that if he would
accept what Christ had done for him he would be saved. It's
not complicated even a young child could understand. He told
Bob that Jesus, who is God that had came in the flesh, had
died so he ( Bob) could live. He said "The penalty for sin
is death." Romans chapter 6 verse 23." But the gift of God
is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 5:6-8
says Jesus paid the price for us. and Ephesians 2:8 says for
by grace ,through faith we are saved and not of ourselves.
Not by works lest any man should boast. Bob understood that
it's not how good you are that gets you into heaven but to
whom you put your trust in. That night he prayed the sinners
prayer and it went like this;
Jesus forgive me a sinner. I accept the fact that you
died for me and you gave your life that I might have life
eternal. Come into me and give me that life. Make me the
person you want me to be because I can not do it myself.
Thank you for saving me from death and hell. Amen.
Well Bobby prayed that prayer and even signed a little Bible
saying he believed it. He couldn't really tell everybody
about it because he would have got razzed to death by the
guys. I am here to tell you though that we had quite a few
talks about God and Heaven. He never even got to be Baptized
before he died. Through his faith he got saved and according
to the Bible and my Mom he is in Heaven right now. I believe
them both. If you do the same thing, you`ll get the same
thing. Please understand this: Christianity is really not a
religion but rather a relationship. I hope you know what I
mean by that. The Gospel is simple and sounds childish even.
But who said it had to be complicated.
Yes I know there are so many unanswered questions like
if there is a good God then why is there so much evil on
this earth, or what makes me think my religion is the right
one, etc... I don't run from the tough questions but do
know that the answers I have, you probably are not able to
accept. This is not a cop out but it is another subject and
this letter is already way too long. I believe that truth is
true no matter whether the one speaking it is smart or dumb.
This is not a case of the smartest one wins.
If in this letter you can feel God tugging at your
spirit and you would like to know more I think that the
Forest Ave. Baptist Church would be a good place to start.
If you do accept what I've been saying write me and let me
know. If you don't believe it at least do this, don't
completely shut God out.There may be something yet unsaid
that would convince you once and for all. After all, you
have a free will of your own and like I said before I have
simply presented the Gospel the best way I know how and the
rest is between you and God.
Well I've said all I'm going to and some of you are
glade of that. I feel better now, and for the rest of my
life I can say " Mom even if they look at me funny I told
em. I sure did."