If anyone has any suggestions on how they stay strong in their relationship with Christ, I would love to hear.
I go through times when things seem great, and that sometimes seems like it sets me up for heading back down again.
Last week I had a really really bad day. Before the day was over I had convinced myself that when I get to my judgement day, I will be standing on the other side of the line, and won't see Jesus. (Thats hard to type, yet alone to even imagine) I prayed and literaly begged God to send some type of sign, or someone to let me know that I was still okay with him, that I wasn't already lost for good. While I was driving home that day, it took about an hour, and I could have cried enough tears to fill a river.
I was terrified at that thought, and wasn't sure what to do. I know what I wanted to do. I guess in a way my fear is a good thing, because I fear the Lord.....not the world and not satan.
Psalms 112:1 Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands.
God's timing was good, and he did answer....although I wasn't being patient and I didn't think he was going to. I got home and later that night got on the internet. Someone who read about my situation with abuse responded. She gave me some good advice also, about how I need to forgive myself, and God. But the main thing that she empasized on was that God still loved me. Nearly fell out of my chair. My breath was taken away, all I could do was cry!!! It had to have been from God. She has been there before and had never responded to it before, it was all in His timing.
I felt so strong about that, and yet I can sit here and doubt that it was Him. What I am doing that is allowing satan so much control over me? I just don't get it.
I go through times when things seem great, and that sometimes seems like it sets me up for heading back down again.
Last week I had a really really bad day. Before the day was over I had convinced myself that when I get to my judgement day, I will be standing on the other side of the line, and won't see Jesus. (Thats hard to type, yet alone to even imagine) I prayed and literaly begged God to send some type of sign, or someone to let me know that I was still okay with him, that I wasn't already lost for good. While I was driving home that day, it took about an hour, and I could have cried enough tears to fill a river.
I was terrified at that thought, and wasn't sure what to do. I know what I wanted to do. I guess in a way my fear is a good thing, because I fear the Lord.....not the world and not satan.
Psalms 112:1 Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands.
God's timing was good, and he did answer....although I wasn't being patient and I didn't think he was going to. I got home and later that night got on the internet. Someone who read about my situation with abuse responded. She gave me some good advice also, about how I need to forgive myself, and God. But the main thing that she empasized on was that God still loved me. Nearly fell out of my chair. My breath was taken away, all I could do was cry!!! It had to have been from God. She has been there before and had never responded to it before, it was all in His timing.
I felt so strong about that, and yet I can sit here and doubt that it was Him. What I am doing that is allowing satan so much control over me? I just don't get it.