Messianic Bar Mitzvah?

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

Okay, I'm stuck, and I'm hoping some of you wise people around here can advise me.

I have a 12 year old son who seriously wants a Messianic Bar Mitzvah.

Here are his reasons ('cause I know you'll ask

)

He wants the "coming of age" experience

He wants to "step up to the plate" spiritually, and take responsibility for himself and his actions (this is a big deal, as he has a history of behavior problems, and he is finally learning to do this in his daily life...he wants to "let the world know" that he intends to make this a permanent change.)

He want's to re-dedicate himself to the Lord, and feels that this is the best way...to stand in the doorway to adulthood and dedicate his future.

Here are our difficulties...

He is a gentile.

We are not affiliated with a Messianic Congregation.

Our "church" would support us in this, but we would have to organize and officiate ourselves, as no one there would have any idea of ...well, anything.

We don't have access to the usual things...no Torah scroll, no one who can teach him parcha....

Is there an alternative way, or is the whole idea akin to blasphemy??

Totally lost...

Shade

ShirChadash · Mar 31, 2004

Shade -- we are in the same relative position. Our eldest is now 14. Before his 13th brithday we were very intensively looking for a way to make special his coming of age as well. Our church is also supportive of us in these types of things and we could have had a largerish gathering, etc. But ont he one hand, while we were ready for *more* etc. we just weren't really ready to go as far as we wanted to with the situation... we weren't ready in "time". Honestly, we may or may not do something for him at a later point, but we did a family-oriented day at home... bought a tallit for him (yes I know. others say tallit only for marrie dmen. We made his slightly different from his papa's, with silver not gold threading, and explained that for his wedding, he may choose a tallit for himself that will be indicative of his own place as head of his household...) and now... we are more looking forward to our 12 yo son's day. I think that we may try to incorporate our 14 yo into our 12 yo's day as well, as a way of giving him place before (in time) our 12 yo... dunno. What will be will be I suppose. While my children cannot possibly have a full bar/bat mitzvah and we don't remotely have access to the kind of teaching they would need for such a thing, the fact is that coming of age is special and we seek to make it special.

I have the ten commandments in Hebrew, transliterated as well, and we planned to have our son read them in the transliteration and then translate as well. I should have some links on my other comp that might help you get ideas what to plan and prepare. I'll try to add them later.

*running as always*
~z~

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

Oh, Zemmie!! You bless me so much!!

Just to know that we aren't the only ones facing these things...I can't tell you how that lifts the burden of loneliness for me!

I have discussed it with our pastors as a "possibility", and they have no problem with it...in fact, I think they are a little curious to see how we handle the situation...at any rate, we have thier support, and for that I am deeply grateful.

My son has been raised as Messianic, and knows the Torah better than I do. He truly has a heart to seek after it, and a mind to understand it. He really wants this...he doesn't often ask me for things...I want to do this for him...it means a lot to him.

We have had many struggles with him...he began to show signs of a behavior problem when he was 3 years old...after several years of testing and therapy, it was discovered that this was caused by a rare form of epilepsy. By then, he was 9 and suicidal. He was given anti-seizure meds, and the difference was like night and day...unfortunately, he had a bad reaction to the meds, and had to stop taking them...since that time, he has been completely unmedicated...

He found peace in the Torah. He discovered that scripture is living and active and a medicine all it's own. He is a completely different child now. He's become a man...he's stable, responsible, and disciplined. He is a testimony. He has learned to cling to the L-rd in all things.

He knows the L-rd saved his life and his mind. He has firmly planted himself as a Messianic and he will not be swayed...it brings him joy.

And so, now he wants to do this...how can I refuse him?

Shade

YatzivPatgam · Mar 31, 2004

He is a gentile.

Then he should not have a Bar Mitzvah.

Why not just put something togther thats a "Comming of age" party. Real Bar Mitzvahs is the culmination of childhood study, with readings done by the child in Hebrew.

I'd just put togther a party and have him say a peice, maybe recite a bible verse by heart or something similar.

simchat_torah · Mar 31, 2004

If they have gone through conversion, then it would be a Bar Mitzvah, otherwise it would be... as Yatziv put it... a coming of age part.

shalom!
yafet

ShirChadash · Mar 31, 2004

Yes, Yatziv, I do believe that is exactly what we are discussing.

Shade, I think it's important to have my children read a passage in Hebrew, but again since they have not had the benefit of years of Hebrew language and intensive Torah learning, a small passage seems more "do-able" which is why I had copied the Ten Commandments in Hebrew. We are currently learning Hebrew, and we also have a Siddur, and I expect by the time September rolls around we will be ready for whatever we undertake for ds's day.

Also, I would like for our children to expound on a passage of Scripture. All of our children have a true heart for G-d and are inquisitive, hungry to know the Word, to elarn Torah, to follow Yeshua's example to His talmidim. They have already a good grasp of the Word and are ever learning more.

Links that might help or give ideas:

http://fp.thebeers.f9.co.uk/barmitzvah.htm
http://www.afii.org/ojbible/1231.pdf
http://www.godwithus.org/bar_bat_mitzvah.html
http://www.godwithus.org/bar_bat_mitzvah/bar_mitzvah_speech_ljb.html
http://www.1abba.org/NewsletterArticles/BarMit.html

I have more I think...

Loooking...

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

I am truly sorry if I have offended anyone by using the term "Bar Mitzvah"...I just don't know what else to call it.

Any suggestions would be welcome

Shade

ShirChadash · Mar 31, 2004

I think, Shade, as long as your son understands what "bar mitzvah" means, and not only the definition of the term

that it's perfectly fine for you to call it a Bar Mitzvah if tha tis what he is doing -- taking upon himself the beautiful yoke of Torah. I assume you don't mean to imply that anyone in Judaism proper will/should see this as a valid Bar Mitzvah.

P_G · Mar 31, 2004

Shade:

My dearest sister!

You know it was always in the ancient days mothers place to teach the fundimentals of the faith to the children. I think untill they hit about 10 or 11 years old? If the boy knows his Torah well it is no doubt to your credit.

I would get some good Hebrew learning software and start him learning to read Hebrew. I would bet that I can find you a Torah in Hebrew not translittereated though obviously not a scroll.

Lastly since he is a gentile may I ask if he has been baptized? If not perhaps when you come out for the revival this summer you would permit me to do so! We got a handy river nearby!

I agree if he is not Jewish a Bar Mitzvah is probably not a good thing. But we can surely bring this fine young man into the presence of men that we might call him brother some how.

I will personally help you in any way that I can.

Blessings

Pastor George :wave:

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

Zem,

You are understanding our intentions perfectly. He does, indeed, follow Torah to the best of his abilities, and he does intend to continue and grow in Torah for the rest of his life...he is devoted to it.

We would not expect for anyone in the mainstream Jewish community to recognize this as an official Bar Mitzvah. This is something that is between him and us and the L-rd. We would invite others to share in this with us because this is a joyous thing, but we would be very clear with them that this in no way could be considered a "real" Bar Mitzvah.

On the other hand, it is more than a party...much more. It is

#1. the dedication of his adulthood to the service of the L-rd.

#2. A statement that we, as his parents, recognize and declare that he has a competent basic understanding of scripture and its meaning

#3. A statement, made by his own choice, that he is not simply "Christian", but rather, Messianic.

#4. A formal acceptance of Torah, and a commitment to seek to grow in it.

#5. A "starting over"...stepping out of his difficult past and into a life of obedience.

Does anyone have any ideas of what we could include in this that would fulfill these things?

Shade

ShirChadash · Mar 31, 2004

Nehemiah_Center said:
Shade:

I would get some good Hebrew learning software and start him learning to read Hebrew. I would bet that I can find you a Torah in Hebrew not translittereated though obviously not a scroll.

Speaking of that! Can anyone tell me if the "Torah Scrolls" on CBD like this
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product/144625442?item_no=4542250&netp_id=314402&event=ESRCN&item_code=WW#CURR

Are in Hebrew, the full Torah etc. ?

They have other sizes...

Anyway, and also there is a link someone put in the resources thread ^ up there on the from MJ page for Torah in Hebrew and you can hear it read all the way through the readings, in Hebrew...

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product/144625442?item_no=4542250&netp_id=314402&event=ESRCN&item_code=WW#CURR

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

PG,

You are so sweet...but my son was baptised...on the Day of Pentecost...by my own hand...I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

I think we are getting all hung up on the term Bar Mitzvah. Surely, there must be a more appropriate term?

Shade

ShirChadash · Mar 31, 2004

Day of Accountability?

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

Hmmmm....that's a possibility...a real possibility.....any other nominations??

ShirChadash · Mar 31, 2004

It's not a very good one though LOL... but hey I was just throwing it out here LOL

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

well, it's a start!

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

Here's what we've been thinking....

1. A time of "question and answer" to verify his doctrine (i.e. Torah obedience, basic doctrines of faith, etc) and intention (i.e. obedience, sobriety, absitnence, etc)

2. Small "sermonette" on the parcha for the day (maybe)

3. Lighting the Shabbat candles and saying the blessings (in Hebrew, of course)...solo...for the first time.

He is capable of a short "sermon"...I think it is important for him to begin "as he means to continue"...with study and prayer.

I think (IMHO) that learning to say the prayers is more useful to him than learning a portion of scripture...hubby had a "real" Bar Mitzvah, and doesn't remember a word...none of the rest of us knows any Hebrew at all...but we all know the prayers for Shabbat, and can say them. I would like for my son to understand that we expect him to continue this and to build on it.

Thoughts??

Shade

Sephania · Mar 31, 2004

Shade, I am confused, didn't you say that your husband is Jewish?

schwartmrs · Mar 31, 2004

schwartmrs said:
...hubby had a "real" Bar Mitzvah, and doesn't remember a word...none of the rest of us knows any Hebrew at all...but we all know the prayers for Shabbat, and can say them.

Hubby is, indeed, Jewish...my point is that, although he learned his portion in Hebrew, he doesn't remember it, and didn't use that as a springboard for learning more....

the prayers for Shabbat, however, he uses every week...seems more practical to me that the child should learn what he WILL use rather than what he MIGHT use...

make any sense?

Sorry I'm not communicating well right now.

Shade

Cordy · Mar 31, 2004

I think this is such a wonderful idea, schwartmrs!
I think our culture often places this daunting embarrassing mystery on puberty, and it is hard for some kids to establish their identity in such an uncomfortable stage. I think celebrating this change into adulthood really helps kids develop their sense of responsibility and purpose.

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