how do you get over someone?

fisherman2 said:

i was with a woman for 5 and one half years, she left, she is no longer in love with me, but i still love her, how do i get her out of my head and emotions? I have cried out to god to remove her from my thoughts and feelings, but she is still there.

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either find someone else..or take a long vacation

and pray to lord

Hi fisherman2,

I am in a similar boat right now, and fully understand what you are asking. Sadly, I do not think that there is any quick fix answer that will help. I do not understand how women can fall out of love so easily, because when I love someone passionately, it takes a long time to lose those feelings.

I just found out that the one that I care for has remarried, and it hit me hard, though there is no reason for me to continue keeping these feelings. It has been a year, and though I have met other women, fall back into this stupid comparison of them vs. her that keeps me from getting close. I know, I am a total idiot.

The only thing that truly will heal the wound of your heart is time. Sometimes it is said that the period of mourning can last as long as the relationship was. I hope that you do not have to wait five years to lose these feelings. Well, if you are like me, it is not a matter of losing the feelings, but more, a lessening of those feelings. If a woman that I dated years and years ago, who I cared for deeply, came to me tomorrow, and needed help, I would be there for them.

But please, do not do anything rash with your feelings. It will probably be an emotional roller coaster ride for a while. Days of wanting to not love her, days that you long for her deeply, days that you fool yourself into believing that she will come back. Times of hatred, anger, sorrow, (oops, I better stop before I start quoting Ecc. 3). Anyway, those times go away, and over time your love will fade.

I wish I could give you a better answer.

Also, though meeting someone else is a good answer, beware of doing so too soon. Boomeranging is not a good thing, and often the person you meet can get hurt bad, if you are not really ready for a relationship.

Of course, perhaps I am the blind leading the blind here, but I wanted you to know that you are not the only one out there that goes through these things.

As always, trust in God, for He is truly trustworthy. He will be there on those lonely nights, sitting at your side, letting you know how much He cares for you. He may not remove your feelings, but He will help you through them.

John

Witness. said:

As always, trust in God, for He is truly trustworthy. He will be there on those lonely nights, sitting at your side, letting you know how much He cares for you. He may not remove your feelings, but He will help you through them.

John

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Amen

You can only replace a lost love with a new love.

I'm in a similar situation... My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years just broke up with me... and it hits hard.

I guess it's those 2 things that we all hate; time, and patience. Time heals. Cry out to God. Your feelings aren't just gonna go away. You will need to grieve for a while. It really hurts, but you will begin to feel better as time goes on.

Trust in God's plan for you. Maybe you two weren't right for each other. Maybe God has better plans for you. But whatever the case is, He knows what He's doing. Trust him.

I hope it starts to get better soon. A broken heart is a very painful thing indeed.

Hey


Well I wasn't in a really long relationship. Actually we were really good friends for a while and ended up falling in love with each other. I know I am awfully young to be saying I have been in love but I frimly believe thats what it was. I have been obsessed infatuated and possesive of guys but this was so different. I am still not over this guy. I work at it every single day of my life. I have tried replacing him and its not the same. It never will be. You have to just trust God to pull you through it. God promised us he would never give us more tnan we could handle at one time so you must trust Him to help you. Otherwise satan gets just what he wants from you. He gets to steal kill and destroy your joy and passion. Those are two things you need not loose. Someone else will come along. Give it time. In fact I suggest you don't go out for a while to make sure that when you do its not on the rebound. Its because you are really looking for that special someone. Pray for God to send you that person in HIS time. Thats my best advice and it all has helped me.

Love you in Christ
HomeChicklet

I have been there. The only thing that got me through it was that I focused on God, completely just focused on His word, surrounded myself with my friends and family, cried it all out, and kept my life active,....didn't sit back and have a pity party. The pain will eventually leave, but just like your love for her kept developing over time, it will also take time for you to heal. Be patient with yourself, you will get through it. The emotions will heal, however the thoughts of her may not be as easy to get out of your head. I agree with Anti Existance, that "You can only replace a lost love with a new love". The thoughts of my ex honestly didn't leave until I found my new love back in 2003 although I stopped hurting in 2001. I will be praying for you, I know it's hard and I'm sorry that you are hurting right now, but one day soon you will be happy again, just give it to the Lord.

HomeChicklet said:

Hey


Well I wasn't in a really long relationship. Actually we were really good friends for a while and ended up falling in love with each other. I know I am awfully young to be saying I have been in love but I frimly believe thats what it was. I have been obsessed infatuated and possesive of guys but this was so different. I am still not over this guy. I work at it every single day of my life. I have tried replacing him and its not the same. It never will be. You have to just trust God to pull you through it. God promised us he would never give us more tnan we could handle at one time so you must trust Him to help you. Otherwise satan gets just what he wants from you. He gets to steal kill and destroy your joy and passion. Those are two things you need not loose. Someone else will come along. Give it time. In fact I suggest you don't go out for a while to make sure that when you do its not on the rebound. Its because you are really looking for that special someone. Pray for God to send you that person in HIS time. Thats my best advice and it all has helped me.

Love you in Christ
HomeChicklet

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I'm humbled by how much Godly wisdom and compassion you have for one so young. God bless you.

I was there last year and I know it sounds cliche but Time heals all wounds, Pray doesnt hurt though, but for me it was just a matter of time passing without her and you just get over it.

Yeah..I agree..time do heal

Seek God's will in all things. Place it above your heart. I know that is hard to do, but you have to strive for that. I don't think God is done with you, so keep working towards that ideal.

Is this thread over? hahaha

You know, sometimes it is SO hard when we love someone to 'get' over the lost. Grief can come in divorce or seperation. It is a very sad thing. If you know you can't win her back, then you can just go to the Lord and ask Him to "heal' you. Sometimes when we are with someone for a while there are 'spiritual ties' that need to be broken. It could be that you are there and all you need to do is ask the Lord to break any ties with this woman, so you can move forward. I am not sure where you are at in your relationship with JESUS, or how much you understand. But you might want to look at the bible bookstore for some books on this. This is food for thought and something to ask the Lord regarding.

Keep as busy as you can, fisherman2. I've also been there. Spent 4 years with a guy, only to have him break up and marry someone else. I have no magic answers either, except to tell you that I have reached a point where most of my thoughts are on a lot of things other than him. He's not an issue for me anymore, even though I continue to deal with lingering hurt that pops up every now and then. The most helpful thing for me was Scripture and thankfulness for God's grace. He always seems to send a lifepreserver when I need it.

And know that you're not alone. Many of us understand what you're feeling and going through. We've been there too and taken the opportunity to learn spiritual lessons because of it. May God bless you with peace today.

Keep praying and keep yourself busy. It's important to take your mind off of it.