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Recent content by SolaceGarden

  1. S

    A constant sense of foreboding...

    I can't get out from under the feeling of being condemned. I just keep thinking that if my family and friends really knew what I thought that I would have no one, but it kind of feels like I have no one right now. Not because my family doesn't care, but because there's a gap there that can't...
  2. S

    I feel like I should kill myself...

    Aaliyah, I too have had years of regret and sorrow standing in the way of me moving on. I've started and quit various college programs out of fear and self-loathing. It can be a vicious cycle that we desperately want to break free of by any means... but if you're having thoughts of suicide...
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    A constant sense of foreboding...

    So I'm back to feeling just as condemned as always. I tried to talk to a therapist and while i think it was good to expound on some of the things that were troubling me, I never could get up enough courage to talk about the Obsessive tendencies I've had. It only went as far as my therapist...
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    Why does this have to continue?

    Mixahl, I too have spent night after night begging God to take my life because of despair at who I feel I am and continue to this day to feel I am wasting my family's resources. I grew up with everything and contine to live a life of comfort now. But there is an incredible disconnect between...
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    Stuff like this always hits about tax time...

    Hey TG, I'm just doing my taxes and I deal with the same type of anxiety. I worry about whether I'm doing them right a lot. I've even had my taxes done by an accountant in the past and still worry as to whether he's done them right or whether I gave him all the necessary slips. I haven't...
  6. S

    First Therapy Session

    Yeah she asked me to write them on paper but I'm afraid to. I keep thinking I'm guilty of the thoughts I continue to have. I just don't know what the truth is. I keep thinking that I WANT it to OCD because it will give me easy absolution. I can't get a grip on reality. But I've suffered for...
  7. S

    First Therapy Session

    Well guys I went to my session. Praying on the way there that God would allow me to be as honest as I've ever been 'cause I always fear that self-preservation will kick in and I'll twist things a bit to make myself not look as bad. I think it was a good first session though. I admitted things...
  8. S

    Trouble discerning when it's the Holy Spirit

    :pray: I totally do as well TPOJ. When I try to talk to people about it, even they say I'm too hard on myself but somehow it's such a struggle to see it. You keep wondering and keep feeling convicted. I pray that the Holy Spirit WILL work in you to help you grow and be strong but also help...
  9. S

    First Therapy Session

    Hi guys, I'd just like to ask for prayer because I'm going to my first ever therapy session. I don't know where to begin in trying to get out what's going on with me but I want it to the most effective session it can be so prayers would be appreciated. Thanks.
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    Approaching God

    Thanks gracealone. I'm trying to think over my life and find where it all started but to tell you the truth, I don't really know. My memory isn't the greatest to start with. I had a lot of trouble in University. I'm not proud of this, but I cheated somewhat in high school and it REALLY...
  11. S

    Approaching God

    Has anyone ever felt like they're stuck in time? Like they can't go forward and can't evolve? I feel like even though I've grown up in a Christian home and went to church until I was 19 from then on it's been off and on. Since first experiencing cyclical thinking and disturbing thoughts, I've...
  12. S

    Thanks and Prayer Request

    I would just like to thank everyone for sharing their stories and responding to my own. Although I haven't been diagnosed with OCD and am reluctant to self-diagnose, your stories have allow me to recognize similar tendencies in my own thinking/mind. I have wrestled with seeking help out of...
  13. S

    A constant sense of foreboding...

    I posted this in another thread but I'm really dealing with this now since I've just entered school again today in a new program after many years away from school. It's shocking how many years I've spent in this state... thinking about it really gets me down. Has anyone ever experience...
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    Justifying Help

    Has anyone ever experience something like this: You have the overwhelming sense that your life has gone off track somewhere maybe because of a bad decision/choice. You feel that you're constantly inhabiting a place in life where every decision you make, whether it be in your best interest or...
  15. S

    Justifying Help

    I just find it hard to be able to approach God NOW when I haven't had even a remotely close or obedient relationship with Christ. There is such a block. Years ago, I left university because I had made some poor decisions and was feeling exceedingly isolated. When I returned home, after a...