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Recent content by seekinghim09

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    UPDATE: I want to let it all go!...fear of dating others with a sexual past.

    Hey everyone! It's been a while since I posted here. I just wanted to give an update to the thread I started with the same title (sorry, can't post a link, don't have a high enough post count!). I know that others here have walked through the same battle I have, and I just wanted to...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Thanks for the help again! LinkH/Lethe - I think that is probably wise in my case to explore this issue earlier, but maybe not so direct. I know that a lot of girls feel a lot of shame and guilt related to their past, and I wouldn't want to be a catalyst of that guilt by making such a bold...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Hey guys, Just an FYI - counseling has been progressing well. I directly asked my counselor if he thought that I was ready to ask out "Jill", and he said with my progress yes. I felt it was time to face my fear and finally do it. So I asked her out, and we will be having dinner soon. LinkH...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    ParentOfChildren - Thank you! I appreciate your input here, and do agree that virginity does NOT equal purity! I really want that change to take place in my heart too. Just for the record, if any of you are considering going through counseling for anything, just do it, it's AWESOME! Through...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Link, I think you're right. It is always better to not respond to interest, rather than lead them on for more damage later. This just is something I am perhaps overly-sensitive to....because of my past of rejection it causes me a lot of grief to reject someone (even in the early stages)...even...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Guys, thanks again for the encouragement! That really means a lot that you would write these lengthy responses to help out a total stranger! Just to put this all in perspective, I do live in the American Southeast, aka Bible Belt. That's all I'll say though, as someone I know could be...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    I have been spending this weekend focusing on myself (in prayer, reflection, etc), and will continue that on through next weekend before I pursue anyone. I do want to pursue a relationship very soon though! My counselor is only available once every 2 weeks, so that will probably continue for a...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Just wanted to say thanks again for the encouragement everyone! I met with our church's counselor for the first time earlier this week. It appears that there are two huge things that caused my intense paralysis of dating anyone with a sexual past. 1: Past pain from female rejection (linked to...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Just wanted to give a quick update here. I signed up with a counselor at my church to discuss this issue, and will meet with him in about a week. I started to become more open about this with my friends, and was given some very encouraging advice. One friend who has known me for a long time...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Thanks everyone! Branwen, thanks for that perspective too. That was really helpful. I am going to ask someone in my church where I can get counseling about this. I have never been through formal counseling before....maybe it is about time that I should consider it. One of my best friends...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    Thanks for the responses guys! freakazoid....you brought up a good topic that I want to add. I have brought this up to some friends, and they said essentially the same thing. However, it's not the mere fact that she sinned that would upset me. I honestly believe that if she was a drug dealer...
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    I want to let it all go!!...fear of dating girls with a sexual past

    If this is in the wrong forum, please feel free to move it! This just seemed to be the best fit I knew of for this topic. This seems to be a common topic among guys here. However, I want to know if any of you had the same struggle, and found ways to move past it and date a great girl who...
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    Does she have an "actual" relationship with God?

    Guys, Thanks for your responses. One thing I want to clear up....I was not questioning her actual salvation. I know she is saved by grace, and has come to God and received that gift. I was more referring to does she spend time in intentional prayer with God, place situations in God's hands...
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    Does she have an "actual" relationship with God?

    Yes, this is the same girl I started a thread about titled "Am I obsessing over her physical imperfections". However, this is a different topic now that I would like to seek advice from other believers on. I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months now. I do enjoy spending time with her...
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    Am I obsessing over her physical imperfections?

    Guys, thank you so much again! Sometimes, it just helps to have a forum to share your feelings anonymously and have others believers shoot you straight. It is great to hear others confirm this isn't an indication that I ultimately don't find her as attractive as I should in someone I'm...