Recent content by omnicell

  1. O

    Lonely places...

    Im in a lonely place! I have to turn to God to get through it! Im in the kore middle of the middle, Im trying to battle my way out! Im alone as usual..... Im not willing to conform! it would do no good! I have to be me around others and the world. And I could get my head...
  2. O

    Trusting God

    secrets have to go! Ive been told this! I suppose it effects at a deeper level! The deeper you go, there you are! When the secrets go, I come back to the present to start over. I have to trust God and get rid of the fear and clean house. Im so scared the boogie man is going...
  3. O

    And with God I can! Without Him I cannot

    And the title says everything. And all I am learning is the above. The last part is the hard part. The last part of the title is what makes things so difficult. Laying down my Ego and stepping out of the way is impossible without help! And a journey is behind all. I have mass...
  4. O

    Church

    Almost out! Im grateful for what these people have done for me. ITs time to leave. Move on! I have PTSD problems and Dissociative Disorder, and these people do not understand these things. And Im no longer interested or have the need to be part of something with people that do...
  5. O

    toughing it out

    Mary Christmas everybody! And day to day, slowly, I must learn to trust God! As my mind comes back to some levels of sanity, I find myself in a new world! and I do not know how to operate in it! I know nothing, as I knew nothing before. The last time I was mentally awake I was...
  6. O

    Trust God; taking him with me in Satans world.

    How easy it is to forget! this is satans world. I do not like to admit it. It is true. I must be innocent like a dove, and wize like a serpent! If not, I get over ran by the animals in the cages. Im all alone! there is no one on my side; a few people. And they are on the edge...
  7. O

    My relationship with God

    My relationship with God could get better. I need it to get better. It need a better relationship with God. A deeper, better trust. Im to scared around people, and I feel nervous around people and less then. I feel like I have nothing to offer other people. I feel people are not safe...
  8. O

    Slowly moving forward

    Slowly waking up. I have to remember Im not around people that really want to understand me! Im not around people that really want me! or care to care. I have God and must turn to God and trust God and listen to God and stay with God. Stay with God, stay with God. This place is...
  9. O

    TO be or not to be

    With my anxiety disorder, Im not sure what I will or won't be when I grow up. Im in a mental strait jacket! Im so alone! its to much anxiety to get started on or with something; as I end up alone. The alone is what kills me! ITs sad, and brings up neglect and sad: Memories that will...
  10. O

    Dealing

    ITs preliminary work; Its starting. Im starting to prepare a place for myself in the world. Im slowly moving. Im feeling, sending out feelers! thats the best way to describe it. Im sending out missiles in front of me to take my rightful place among the people. Its very slow. its...
  11. O

    choosing to keep it together

    I believe attitude is everything! And a good attitude is worth gold. And at times a good attitude is obtained by no less then a world travel in or outside the heart to obtain a change of direction. Intolerance leaves one alone and unable. Tolerance in hard places can make one rich if...
  12. O

    Keeping it alive

    Im alone; and continue to be alone! Im not sure what the gig is... Im as honest as I can be. Seems to have no value. No one is interested. I have to keep working with God. lots of cons conning people! that I can see! I see little else. I see fakes lying about everything...
  13. O

    In the middle... so... Now what!

    Preyer.. Im a slow work moving... I have lots to take care of and nunuvit-funn! Now what! I wake up and get slaughtered again as a human being! do I go through that again. my resentments carried me the last time. I had resentments against my parents for ruining my life; and...
  14. O

    Playing on the wild side

    Im playing on the wrong side of the street with the wrong people. Im attracting the wrong people. They think Im a vampire like they are when Im not! Is it there fault or mine. I find myself around the people I need to grow! However, Im growing in a none intimate way. When I attempt to...
  15. O

    They still won't give me a break! IM OK

    I have to learn to trust God! and keep trusting God. I prey on my knees all the time, but I don't really take God with me! Im more freaked out most the time ( anxiety disorder)/ In the meetings, Im slashed on verbally, this is to drop my status by those that are jealous or hateful. Im...