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I think it's cheating if it violates an agreement you have. Often, people aren't on the same page, they haven't agreed on what the commitment is. When I was single, I went through a phase where I was not ready to date just one person, and I was honest about this. I think it was helpful to have...

If Jesus is the center of your life, and your spouse is pulling in a different direction, it's hard to find common ground where it matters the most.

You can't suppress negative thoughts, but you can think about something else. The more you try to fight negative thoughts, the more they will assert themselves. I think it's good to be aware of your feelings here. What feelings are you having when you have these thoughts? Are you feeling...

I would add abandonment - if your spouse abandons you.

The Bible says surprisingly little about how people should get married. I do think you want to involve the people you want to support you in your marriage. Cheap is good. Decorations are just decorations. If you don't have money, how about a pot luck reception? Do you know any musicians who...

Sounds like you're struggling with learning how to accept God's forgiveness. This is the kind of thing that a good pastor can help you pray through. You sinned, you've repented. It sounds like you and your girlfriend are clear on that. You have an advocate before the Father. Let Jesus be your...

I think thatdrummer is saying something important here. If you're fantasizing about going beyond what is appropriate, don't share that with your boyfriend or girlfriend, that makes it extremely difficult. Share that with the people you turn to for advice instead.

Sounds like she would like to go to Jamaica and stay on the farm rather than a resort. You know, some people don't like resorts, I sure don't. Learn to be attentive to what she wants and needs, that's so much more important than doing things that feel impressive to you. Suppose she would really...

And this is especially true if a big fancy ring isn't what she wants. I sometimes hear about people going into debt to buy rings that cost thousands of dollars. Suppose what she really wants is to be debt free, or to have money to be able to buy a car, but you buy a ring for $6,000 when she...

I'm not sure exactly what kinds of thoughts you are having. Feeling strong sexual desire is quite normal, and I don't think that Scripture calls that wrong. Dwelling on detailed thoughts of specific sexual acts ... not a good idea, it will make it much harder to do what is right. The word...

I agree. And in both cases, he seems to want to give her one choice - he wants the name "Jackson", he wants to listen to country music. There are many names, and many kinds of music to listen to, when you get married you don't get to make all the choices. If you want her to talk in an...

Ah, now is your chance to show her how well you can listen to what she really wants. First step is to feel her out and make sure she really feels that way - that she's not just saying this because she doesn't think there's room to feel what she actually feels. That's really, really important...

I think there are a lot of people who believe in "friendship first" before dating. I also think most women can sense when that friendship is open to more. You don't need to create a formal constitution for your relationship before you start hanging out. Play this one step at a time. Invite her...

Ah, thanks for the clarification! I like your name a lot more now ;->

moreruthlessjezebel - I think you've pretty much said what you need to say. This was part of your old self, and your old relationship, and you know that you hurt each other a lot and did a lot of wrong in that relationship. I'd start by saying this, then mention that there's one thing that he...