Fair enough. The humor/joke topic is interesting enough to keep me engaged.
It's fun right? I could keep posting random kinds of jokes to pick apart. Here's my favorite Demetri Martin bit:
How come, when you're making love, it's okay to say, "Yes!" or "Yeah!" or "Uh-huh!" but it's not okay to say, "Yep"? No deception there. Just pointing out something that everyone knows, but never thinks about.
It is relative but I think my point is easy to understand. Jokes are temporary deception in the way of seconds.
Well, I think that pointing out that jokes use deception for good is sufficient for us to reanalyze deception and figure out what the missing link is that makes deception evil when it's evil. Is there a reason to think some amount of time is really the important factor in that?
Sure... I was more asking about the missing link of humor. If deception & surprise aren't sufficient to account for the essence of humor, then what is it?
I think surprise is sufficient to explain the humor of a joke. Like the dark jokes, there's nothing clever about them. You're lulled into a false sense of security that you aren't going to hear something shocking, then you do. I don't think humor requires
one sort of thing to have at it's essence.
Hahaha! I have similar stories, although I don't fully agree with your old Tosh quote that anything can be funny or that there can be no inappropriate jokes. I do sometimes receive the response, "That's not funny," or "All jokes have some truth to them," etc. As with your co-workers response, people who respond that way to a risky joke become an object of humor themselves, which is why it is fun to push the envelope just a little bit to draw people into that awkward space. But I've lost friends that way too so I am more careful about it these days.
I really didn't want to make folks laugh at her or make her feel uncomfortable. I tried my little heart out to convince her to let it go. I just want to make people laugh when I tell a joke. She didn't enjoy that at all, and I'm sure that being embarrassed about being so publicly affected only magnified the disgust she felt about the joke itself. I have a lot of jokes that most
decent folk don't want to hear, the sort of jokes that are on subjects most
decent folk would find inappropriate. What I've found is that people can be desensitized really easily. Just make your jokes ramp up on the offensiveness scale gradually, and people who were scarred by things as children can learn to laugh at those things too.
When you really think about offensiveness and humor, you realize how ridiculous it is to be offended by anything. Most people are offended by
something and that something is entirely subjective. Even the degree that people feel the offense is subjective. A black guy hearing the N-word might be mildly irritated, whereas an elderly white woman hearing "Damn" in a movie theatre might faint. Nothing is objectively offensive, so whatever offends one person isn't any more special than the thing that offends the next person. I think my "nothing offends me" outlook actually makes me more sensitive to the emotions of others than folks who think that there are things you would be
correct to be offended about because that means some folks are
incorrect to be offended at their things. No one is right, they're all being irrational, and everyone should be polite enough to cater to those irrational feelings to a
large extent.