2 Unmarried Christians couples living under the same roof

[layhoma]

Please treat this as purely hypothetical. Your guidance, suggestions, support or rebuttal are all welcome.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years. We have been keeping our vows of celibacy and have been living a Godly life. In fact, occasionally she would stay over at my house and sometimes even fall asleep next to me in my bed as we doze away after chatting and praying together. Still, we never fall from grace. We enjoyed our union spiritually more than physically, at least for now.

Just found out she has Huntington's Disease and her life expectancy is no more than a year. I propose for marriage despite it would be a short one because we are so much in love but she refused and is adamant not wanting her other significant half to end up a widower.

We made a bold decision. A very unorthodox one especially among Christians. We decided to live together in an apartment and spend every minute together until she goes back to her Maker. We know very clearly that there we will not be having sex and we are not enticed by our cardinal nature since the last 2 years have been our testimony to ourselves and God. We love the Lord so much that we would not do anything that would make Him sad and we have so much respect for each other that we would never defile our bodies (temples).

As a precaution that we would not be a stumbling block to others, we would not reveal this to anyone except those that are close and understanding.

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I'd approve of it. As long as you are ready for it because sleep overs are very, very different from actually living together.

But why do people on the Internets opinion matter to you what you do in your personal life?

As long as you feel no convictions.

 

[REPHAIAHPEDAHEL]

Isaiah 53:4-5 AMP
Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains of punishment, yet we ignorantly considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God as if with leprosy. [5] But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement needful to obtain peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes that wounded Him we are healed and made whole.

 

[Hospes]

Marriage is more than simply adding sex to a relationship. It is a covenant between a man and a woman. God created marriage to be the context for such a covenant. Given this, I think you should place yourselves into the "container" of marriage God created specifically for the exceptionally good thing you are doing. You becoming a widow is minor; you becoming a husband is major.

BTW, the marriage ceremony need not be anything more than necessary; a pastor and and a few witnesses. You could even keep it secret if you think best; it is God that will see it all and that's what's important.

 

[Inkachu]

Cohabitation or "playing house" doesn't go from wrong to right simply because you attach an uber-sentimental story to it.

You can love her and be close to her without living with her and sleeping with her. You can be with her from dawn till dusk if you choose, every single day. Her refusing marriage simply to spare you the "widower" status makes absolutely no sense, either. Your commitment to her and devastation at losing her won't change a bit simply because of that. There's no need for an elaborate wedding, all you need is an hour at the nearest courthouse with your pastor as a witness.

God comes before everything else, including sentiment, emotions, feelings, and passions. Do what's right. No living together, no sharing a bed, unless you're husband and wife.

 

[Iosias]

Sounds fine to me; you've obviously thought it through.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Jesus as we all know is our healer of all diseases, and the full benefits of this constant healing has to happen when Jesus returns and transforms us with new minds and bodies so Christ-like, that none of the negative and painful memory past experiences of disease and of emotionally depressing and annoying life issues or problems such as food chemical additives, bad bacteria and viruses causing flu-like symptoms and severe stomach indigestion, as well as Satan's desire to turn crime, poverty and violence into an entertaining embarrassment or an embarrassing entertainment for his enjoyment.:
As for children being born in this world from the womb of a woman, I very much doubt that child pregnancy will continue once we have been transformed into new Christ-like beings where sexuality will be replaced with the constant joy of spirituality - a spirituality that is totally depression-proof and loneliness-proof since the power of Christ's health and safety rules of protection will make bodily injury, disease and death a thing of the past.:
I believe we will meet Adam and Eve who were the first and only couple to be born from dust instead of the woman's womb so that we will know exactly how the power of Creation from God is able to make life from dust, and how eternal youth is able to control our human genes without age-causing diseases such as dementia, or sexual hunger addictions .:'*';.

 

[Spunkn]

Cohabitation or "playing house" doesn't go from wrong to right simply because you attach an uber-sentimental story to it.

You can love her and be close to her without living with her and sleeping with her. You can be with her from dawn till dusk if you choose, every single day. Her refusing marriage simply to spare you the "widower" status makes absolutely no sense, either. Your commitment to her and devastation at losing her won't change a bit simply because of that. There's no need for an elaborate wedding, all you need is an hour at the nearest courthouse with your pastor as a witness.

God comes before everything else, including sentiment, emotions, feelings, and passions. Do what's right. No living together, no sharing a bed, unless you're husband and wife.

What Inkachu said.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

What Inkachu said.

What he said about what Inkachu said.

 

[CGL1023]

Please treat this as purely hypothetical. Your guidance, suggestions, support or rebuttal are all welcome.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years. We have been keeping our vows of celibacy and have been living a Godly life. In fact, occasionally she would stay over at my house and sometimes even fall asleep next to me in my bed as we doze away after chatting and praying together. Still, we never fall from grace. We enjoyed our union spiritually more than physically, at least for now.

Just found out she has Huntington's Disease and her life expectancy is no more than a year. I propose for marriage despite it would be a short one because we are so much in love but she refused and is adamant not wanting her other significant half to end up a widower.

We made a bold decision. A very unorthodox one especially among Christians. We decided to live together in an apartment and spend every minute together until she goes back to her Maker. We know very clearly that there we will not be having sex and we are not enticed by our cardinal nature since the last 2 years have been our testimony to ourselves and God. We love the Lord so much that we would not do anything that would make Him sad and we have so much respect for each other that we would never defile our bodies (temples).

As a precaution that we would not be a stumbling block to others, we would not reveal this to anyone except those that are close and understanding.

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?

I have a teacher who was 45 days from death by cancer and she learned about the benefits contained in the New Covenant by starting at the beginning. This was some 20 years ago; today, she is a powerful teacher because of her commitment to the Word. She ministers with miracles and signs following. You have at least that much of a chance. Immerse yourself in the Word. Learn that the devil has now power over a born-again believer.

The message of death in a year is a message from the devil and from the world. I would say learn what your (New) covenant contains and the numerous benefits therein; inform and educate yourself. God is not pronouncing a death sentence so don't accept the devils lies.

 

[MercyandFaith]

I don't think there is anything Scripturally wrong with cohabitation, as long as there is no sexual activity. People say, "But the temptation is there" - sure, but that's like saying that Christians shouldn't live next to a bank, just because there might be the temptation to rob the bank.


Cohabitation does NOT = sexual immorality if there is no sexual activity. Can it lead to sin? Yes. But is it sin? Not unless sin is committed. Those who say that cohabitation is sin, are simply imposing their rules on others.

 

[iambren]

There is SOME spiritual risk,especially when emotions become raw, but I think it's a loving thing to do. Your presence may be a very comforting thing in this difficult hour.

 

[BFine]

What is the other Christian couple doing? You said two Christian
couples are living together?

How are your girlfriend's family, friends and church family
handling the situation-- Hypothetically speaking?

How are you preparing yourself to deal with her disease--Hypothetically speaking?
She will experience: depression, weight loss, spasms in her limbs--
difficulty: talking, eating, swallowing, walking; she will have trouble making
decisions, memory problems-- the disease leads to complete incapacitation--death.
Who will be helping you to care for her?

 

[Spunkn]

I don't think there is anything Scripturally wrong with cohabitation, as long as there is no sexual activity. People say, "But the temptation is there" - sure, but that's like saying that Christians shouldn't live next to a bank, just because there might be the temptation to rob the bank.


Cohabitation does NOT = sexual immorality if there is no sexual activity. Can it lead to sin? Yes. But is it sin? Not unless sin is committed. Those who say that cohabitation is sin, are simply imposing their rules on others.

If you're going to act like you're married, then just get married. You are "playing" marriage without the actual committment.

Never a good idea for anyone.

Sometimes it's not about whether or not something is a sin.

Sometimes it's about whether or not something is a wise idea.

Also there's more than just the temptation to worry about. What about your testimony to other Christians?

 

[truthhopejustice]

It sounds like she doesn't want to bond with you sexually because she knows it will hurt you worse once she's gone. She is in love trying to protect you. So if you can explain to her that it will hurt you worse to never know what it's like to bond with her in that way then she will probably be open to marrying you. It's love that's making her say this to you. Let her know how much it will mean to you to bond with her sexually. and that you want that closeness before she passes.

Or alternatively. you could do as she says and never have a sexual bond with her. This would likely make it easier for you to find someone else after she has passed. I know you can't imagine wanting to be with someone else now, but that is likely how you will feel eventually as few people desire to be single for life, even after a spouse dies. So her idea may actually be best for you. So take that into consideration too.

 

[truthhopejustice]

I have a teacher who was 45 days from death by cancer and she learned about the benefits contained in the New Covenant by starting at the beginning. This was some 20 years ago; today, she is a powerful teacher because of her commitment to the Word. She ministers with miracles and signs following. You have at least that much of a chance. Immerse yourself in the Word. Learn that the devil has now power over a born-again believer.

The message of death in a year is a message from the devil and from the world. I would say learn what your (New) covenant contains and the numerous benefits therein; inform and educate yourself. God is not pronouncing a death sentence so don't accept the devils lies.

This is not Biblical. While it's certainly Biblical that God is capable of miraculous healings and that He does do them, it's unbiblical to say that in every case he will perform one. Elisha himself died from a long drawn out illness. Through his prayers, God performed healings and miracles for others, yet God didn't choose to heal him. This is the case sometimes. The devil has no power over a born again believer, but it's God who has chosen to resurrect us and take us to heaven. He could have chosen to take us without death, but that's not God's plan (except for a few people at the very end of time).

I know you mean well when you say she shouldn't accept death and I know you in love desire to see her healed. I think all of us who read this thread feel similarly (or at least I hope so) but that love you have (and which God has for her too) doesn't mean that God will heal her. He might not. I do recommend that the OP pray for her and be open to the idea that God may heal her, but not to think that He absolutely will, otherwise if He chooses not to they will not only be grieving the loss but also feeling like there is something wrong with them - that they arent close enough to God, dont have enough faith etc. and then they will feel guilt on top of sadness. If they had just prayed with more faith God would have healed her. Now it's their fault she wasnt healed.

That's not an experience God wants these people who He loves to go through.

Jesus told Peter that Peter was going to die and how he was going to die. He told David also. Such a word is not always from the devil, remember Jesus speaks truth. and we all know that what is true is not always what we want to be true. We all have to go through hard times and we all wish we didn't have to. Jesus isn't going to lie to us, but he will strengthen us.

Now don't take my words wrong, I'm not saying she will definitely die either. It's just that this word from her doctor is not necessarily the enemy. Jesus has said similar things.

I do recommend that you notify this teacher you mention of this girl's condition and ask her to pray. It sounds like she is a women who God has given the gift of healing to. And perhaps God will perform another healing through her prayers. For those of you who don't know, God distributes spiritual gifts to his church and not everyone gets the same gift. The point of this is to teach oneness and relationship. If we have to go to someone else for prayers for healing and they come to us for say wise advice that gets us functioning on a more intimate level, humbles us, and gets us to be one. It's not that any person has power though - the power is from God. Some people misunderstand this and think the healing comes from the person. Not true, but God chooses to answer that specific person's prayers (the one with the gift of healing as it's called in scripture).

 

[parsley]

Is she going to have enough help? It seems strange that you are asking about rules and resisting temptation, when this woman is going to be suffering physically and finding herself increasingly incapable of doing things.

If she lived with you, would the rest of her family be willing to care for her, visit her at this home... would tension increase and prevent her from having peaceful conversations?

It sounds like you are trying to be very generous and sweet, but a little naive to what it will take to care for her as she fades in strength and mental clarity. I know, you said hypothetical. Will you be willing to send her to a care facility if she needed it? Or would that be too emotional.

While her diagnosis is one year, Huntington's can go on for decades. What would happen if the doctor recommended a trial drug that suspended increase in symptoms indefinitely... and you had no clue how long she would live or suffer. And neither of you could afford to continue treatment and care if she is unable to work.

It's a very thoughtful gesture, but make sure that she wants to do it. It almost sounds like she has said no and you are trying to prove your devotion to her.

Listen and respect what she decides, even if it sounds like she's trying to protect her. What she says is what she means. She might prefer to keep more of a dating relationship, where it was a treat to see you and she wouldn't feel like you saw her at her worst.

 

[quietpraiyze]

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?

Hypothetically were you planning on getting married before you heard the news? If the answer is yes then hypothetically I'm going to disagree with living together but it has nothing to do with the whole temptation thing.

Hypothetically speaking I think you should get married because of the medical legalities that are ahead of you. As her husband you can be with her every step of the process talking with Doctors, Specialist, etc. You would also be able to legally make decisions for her in the event she is unable to. As a friend I don't think you can do that without a Living Will and even then her parents may be able to overturn that. So I think legally marriage protects both you and her.

I think hypothetically the living together is a nice gesture and I understand it but I do think it's unrealistic considering the serious nature of the situation.

 

[Paxton25]

Hypothetically were you planning on getting married before you heard the news? If the answer is yes then hypothetically I'm going to disagree with living together but it has nothing to do with the whole temptation thing.

Hypothetically speaking I think you should get married because of the medical legalities that are ahead of you. As her husband you can be with her every step of the process talking with Doctors, Specialist, etc. You would also be able to legally make decisions for her in the event she is unable to. As a friend I don't think you can do that without a Living Will and even then her parents may be able to overturn that. So I think legally marriage protects both you and her.

I think hypothetically the living together is a nice gesture and I understand it but I do think it's unrealistic considering the serious nature of the situation.

The OP couple should read this and consider how helpless the man will feel not being the husband.

Not only are you ensuring that you will separated near her death due to not being wed, but you also are cutting yourself off from fellow believers, not being open to the healing of James 6 alluded to earlier in this thread.

This is the adult equivalent of two kids ''running away from home.'' You need to return back to your flock, pray over one another and marry. Your girlfriend is allowing death to claim the both of you. If you love her, you won't let her. Choose life!

''This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.'' (Deut. 30:19,20)

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

Please treat this as purely hypothetical. Your guidance, suggestions, support or rebuttal are all welcome.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years. We have been keeping our vows of celibacy and have been living a Godly life. In fact, occasionally she would stay over at my house and sometimes even fall asleep next to me in my bed as we doze away after chatting and praying together. Still, we never fall from grace. We enjoyed our union spiritually more than physically, at least for now.

Just found out she has Huntington's Disease and her life expectancy is no more than a year. I propose for marriage despite it would be a short one because we are so much in love but she refused and is adamant not wanting her other significant half to end up a widower.

We made a bold decision. A very unorthodox one especially among Christians. We decided to live together in an apartment and spend every minute together until she goes back to her Maker. We know very clearly that there we will not be having sex and we are not enticed by our cardinal nature since the last 2 years have been our testimony to ourselves and God. We love the Lord so much that we would not do anything that would make Him sad and we have so much respect for each other that we would never defile our bodies (temples).

As a precaution that we would not be a stumbling block to others, we would not reveal this to anyone except those that are close and understanding.

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?

well, it is not up to me to disaprove, as a Christian, I firmly believe in minding my business.

Only God is the one you have to answer to.

and you have not sinned and you dont intend to.

Now scripture did say to run away from temptations, but that does not mean if you guys live in together, you will give in to temptations so....

anyway, I can see where is your gf comes from, but I honestly dont think it is going to make any difference.

you guys are in love, when she goes, it will hit you hard, regardless you two are married or not.

but I do think you guys get married could help you two make more out of the remaining time together.

but that just my two cents.