You know, Davidnic, you are a powerful witness in all this, because you were left with out your mother due to her illness. You are living proof, it's not the end of the world. It's sad and I wish no one to ever go through that but life does go on for the children and so much comes from that.
People just do not want to look to the future. If your mother had not choose your life over hers, that beautiful baby in the pictures would not be here.
There is another dimension to it. My grandmother had my mom in 1932. In 1936 she was giving birth to her second child. The doctor came out to my grandfather and said: "You have five minutes, do I save the mother or your daughter."
He said to save the mother. My grandmother never blamed him. She was never angry. But she told me when I was a young man that she felt her entire life was Bonnies time. That she had taken her daughters life and lived it as her own. And she cried about it every night when no one was watching.
Now, without my grandmother I know my life would have been so very bad after mom died. So I see where God brought good from bad. But I know He would have done that no matter what.
I saw what happens when this decision is made either way. My grandmother never thought it was worth it and she wished every night my grandfather had made the other decision. Like I said, she held no ill will and loved him so very much...but she felt like she had stolen her child's life. And Pop felt like he killed his daughter.
And in that case at that time there was no way to save both.
One of the strangest moments of my life was in mom's last days and she was delirious with pain medication. There were days she made no sense. The last day she saw gram she looked at her and said: "Bonnie says she loves you."
I don't judge people but we can never forget that fetus is a person with the same dignity as a grown adult, a toddler or a senior citizen. They have a soul and are a person.
My whole life I know that before she knew my name or saw my face my mother would die for me. That she would choose to suffer for so long or die right there if it bought me a moment. She loved and loves me on a level of who I am sight unseen. The doctors were wrong and she did not die in giving birth, but the condition did cause suffering for a decade and her death. But she loved us every moment she had.
How then, in all my life, can I doubt the love of God or the love of Christ in His sacrifice?
Death sucks big time. But life goes on and we carry those we have lost with us. I can only remember moms voice when I sing three things she used to sing to us. I hear her in my head, like we hear ourselves when we sing normally. It's weird. Two of those songs are "Away in a Manger" and "O Little Town of Bethlehem" (third being Immaculate Mary) and I have sung them over and over for the past month to my daughter. And in them her grandmother is singing to her and to me all over again.
Life goes on and we carry them with us.
