Sooooo Lonley

[unrealiseddreams]

I just need a place to vent my feelings.

I dont have a friend in all the world, in this huge planet, with its millions of people, I have not been able to make one single lasting friendship.

I am divorced I managed to get free from an abusive horrible marriage, but I consider it my fault that I was stupid enough to marry him and get myself in that possition.

My friend of 15 years dumped me, and I dont even know why, we were friends for all that time and now she does not phone me at all and she does not welcome calls from me and has basically told me not to visit. I dont even know why.

I had a few other people I considered friends, however, I have realised that unless I phone them they do not keep in touch, they go places and do things without even thinking to ask me along.

I started going to a counsellor, I thought it would help me. He did not show up today, even someone paid to listen to me went elsewhere without even telling me and left me sitting alone.

I realised on my drive home that if I died right now only two people would cry because I was gone, two people might miss me for a while, one my Mother the other my son. I dont think many others would even notice that I was not there anymore.

I dont expect replies to this, I just needed a place to 'voice' myself because I dont have anyone to talk to.

 

[unrealiseddreams]

I cant believe that 24 christians read my message and not one of you coud leave me even a tiny message of encouragement of any kind, soo sad

 

[genestealerbroodlord]

This would seem like a very quiet part of CF. I suspect most are scared to answer your post, as maybe they don't know what exactly to say to you.

I don't know what to say either.

What I will say though is that there are a lot more lonely people out there than you think. Me for one.

 

[unrealiseddreams]

Thank you for replying, the site wont let me reply to your other message till I have enough posts, its now 38 people have read my message and you were the only one who left me anything, when I read it, it makes me cry again, thank you for caring about someone you dont even know.

 

[genestealerbroodlord]

Thank you for replying, the site wont let me reply to your other message till I have enough posts, its now 38 people have read my message and you were the only one who left me anything, when I read it, it makes me cry again, thank you for caring about someone you dont even know.

People can get pretty uncomfortable with emotional stuff. They are not being unchristian as such, just being human.

It's my belief that as a christian, its my duty to care for others. In fact, it's not a duty, it's an honour.

I'm sorry that I made you cry, But perhaps its a good thing to still feel emotional, it shows that your still there.

As I said, I'm far from being a good christian, if anything I'm pretty useless as christians go, But one thing that stuck in my mind when reading the scriptures and that is to love and care for others. It does not matter that your a stranger to me. Your part of my family, through Jesus Christ. Thats enough for me.

 

[Lena75]

Yes, this world can be a very lonely place, even if you are surrounded by many people we call friends. Ever since I lost my best friend 4 years ago, I haven't made very many close friends like that again. I now consider my husband to be my very best friend. We have 3 kids and even I have feelings of loneliness sometimes. Guess that's just life.

 

[CuddlyBear]

Being lonely is the plague of modern times I think. People are so busy it is hard to make new friends. Do you go to a church? That can be a good place to meet people - or join a club of some kind? I think if you join a small group at church you will meet some people but it is hard work and friendships do take time to build. I've experienced friends moving and have just relocated myself so, while I have some connections, have no friendships either. At the moment I don't mind that but would like to make some friends as time goes on. I'd be happy with a couple of good friends.

Regarding the counsellor, have you heard back from him? Possibly he experienced an emergency or there was some mix up that meant he wasn't there. It's not ideal but counsellor's are human and can make mistakes. What happened with the counsellor was truly not personal even though I'm sure it felt that way. Has he normally been reliable?

 

[unrealiseddreams]

genestealerbroodlord, you didnt make me cry it was reading back my own post that made me cry!

Lena I am sorry you have lost yoru friend, and I am also glad that you have a husband that is yoru friend and a family around you.

Cuddly bear, I do go to church, I have been going to this church for over a year, it is very difficult to even get to know anyone nevermind make friends. Because I am a single parent it is also difficult to take part in any groups or clubs. The councellor is from the church, christian councelling, and no he has not been in touch, even though on the day a message was left for him letting him know I had turned up. I have not been for many visits so dont know if he is normally reliable.

I hope you all find friendships that you are looking for.

 

[CuddlyBear]

I understand how hard it can be to get out when you don't have support with the children. Some churches/groups have people to watch the children during the day while their mother's go to a mothers' group so if you ring around you might find something like that. There are usually also organisations for single parent families out there that have events you might be able to make connections through. I'm home with three children and find that stops me getting out as I otherwise would so I'm not really able to meet anyone either right now.

It's very disappointing about the counsellor. I do hope he will be in touch.

Are you willing to share where you are? Maybe in a private message? Your spelling tells me you aren't in America You never know, we may even be in the same area. It's a small world.

 

[unrealiseddreams]

Yes you are right, I am not American, although I would love to visit. I will pm you when this lets me, I dont have enough posts yet!

 

[Easyk]

i know the feeling and just wondered back in the forums... sigh i know the feeling.. stay in there and run the race.. for God is there at the finish line waiting.. but firts the race needs to run, the narrow windy road needs to be walked.. take your desires to the LORD, He is waiting for you to trust Him and follow His LEad..

 

[unrealiseddreams]

Thanks, its good to be reminded of that

 

[jamiejohn]

I'm sorry to her that dreams, you could try joining a Christian Cell Group or a Bible study, or try and sign up for activities at your church, maybe you guys have a soup kitchen or something where there is an opportunity to serve? Going to dance classes or something that interests you could also help.

I hope this loneliness passes, I will pray for you, go well, go with God.

 

[unrealiseddreams]

Thank you, I appreciate your prayers I will look into getting involved in something too!

 

[Peacedove]

I am so sorry you feel so lonely dreams and would like to give you a big hug ((((((((((((((((((((((((((dreams)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))sometimes God takes us into places we would rather not go but one of the things to remember is that He takes us, He does not send us. Even when we are in these lonely places and feel unloved and unwanted by other people, God is still with us and He still loves us, He also wants us too and sometimes it is important to remember that, especially when we feel unwanted by the world. You are important to God dreams and He knows all your troubles, worries, pains - He knows everything about you and He cares that you are hurting. If you can find the strength to give this loneliness to God He will take it and He will use it in a wonderful way. I will pray for peace for you through this difficult time.

 

[unrealiseddreams]

I am so sorry you feel so lonely dreams and would like to give you a big hug ((((((((((((((((((((((((((dreams)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))sometimes God takes us into places we would rather not go but one of the things to remember is that He takes us, He does not send us. Even when we are in these lonely places and feel unloved and unwanted by other people, God is still with us and He still loves us, He also wants us too and sometimes it is important to remember that, especially when we feel unwanted by the world. You are important to God dreams and He knows all your troubles, worries, pains - He knows everything about you and He cares that you are hurting. If you can find the strength to give this loneliness to God He will take it and He will use it in a wonderful way. I will pray for peace for you through this difficult time.

Thank you How do I give it to God, how do you do that? and if he loves me soo much why does he leave me so sad and lonely?

 

[luke226]

Hi,
Wanted to say...Don't give up!!
It's been over 4 years since my wife passed. For the first year I hibernated, only out of the house long enough to go marketing and church service for a while....shortly after Kim's passing I was walking down the center aisle before church and a widow reached over and grabbed me and pulled me into the pew....sorry to say I was completely freaked and left the service as soon as I could. I started going to a "Christian Singles" meeting on Friday evenings and most people there was well over 60 and I had just hit 50. Eventually I began to get out more and have met new people, made friends & began joining into group activities. I still am not looking for someone to be a steady date, just not there yet.
Life is for living so again... Don't give up

 

[Peacedove]

Hi Dreams

I really do feel for you in this situation but I am not going to tell you it will be easy because it probably is not. BUT please do not give up because the rewards are going to be so wonderful for you and when I say that you will look back on this time and rejoice, I really mean it. Unfortunately sometimes we have to go through some really hard times to get to the good ones. A really good book which illustrates this is Hinds Feet On High Places. Sorry back to your questions - how do you give it to God? Keep praying Dreams and as you pray tell God that you give Him all your hopes and dreams and all your loneliness. At first you may not feel as though anything is happening but eventually you will have given it all to God and He will mould and shape your dreams and then give you them back. Sometimes this can take a long time but God is no man's (or woman's) debtor.
If God loves me so much why does He leave me so sad and lonely? There is something God wants you to have Dreams and for some reason He wants you to go through this time to be able to appreciate it fully. We know that God the Father loves Jesus the Son don't we? I wonder how Jesus felt when He uttered on the cross 'my God why did you forsake me?' Even Jesus asked the question why do I have to be here, can't it be done another way? None of us like the feelings and emotions when we feel alone or unloved, even when we have been through times like this before it doesn't mean we don't kick against it if they come again but once we are through these times we are different. God has taken our pains and somehow helped us to grow closer to Him. I will keep praying for you Dreams, you are very special to God and He loves you so very much and I know that He would not let this happen to you if it were not going to help you. I would like to give you this bible verse to read - Jeremiah 28:11 - for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope' Lord Jesus please hold unrealiseddreams very close to you at this difficult time and bring your peace in Your precious name I ask, amen Dreams, I know this can work out for you and I will believe for you till you are strong enough to do so on your own.

 

[simplykate]

Hi there,

I can understand your feelings of loneliness. It is SO hard to make friends. I was wondering how you were doing since this thread. I do hope you are doing much better.

Just know you're not alone. I'm sure you and I are not the only ones struggling in this area but it sure can feel like it most of the time.

I'm glad that you were able to come here and get some encouragement.

 

[cjcarrie]

hi hun, well im crying as im writing this. have to say im in exactly the same boat. im surrounded around loving families, couples etc, even my own family & it gives me a dull ache in my heart. i had a rubbish upbringing, depression for years,my fam think im inferior even my parents. over the years ive come into my own, however ive had trouble this year but thats another story....my main point is ive been lonely all my life, felt ive never belonged & worthless. im still with this feeling although i have mates that i keep at arms length & i express my fake confidence clearly. I do read the bible every night {i only found christianity in march} and talk jesus about me feelings and hope that he heres me and loves me. i think 'joyful in hope' that something good will be just round the corner. be strong carrie x