Feeling upset

[Tenken07]

When people find out I hear voices, and see things constantly, and some of what they do, they just instantly tell me to 'take command' of them, or 'speak against them' cuz 'I have authority!'

Now, problem with hearing this is its really making me feel like crap, and condemned, unsaved, and upset.

I mean, I stand up to these guys ALL the time. I dont take their crap at all. I dont give into despair and panic like I used to, heck I literally out argue the voices almost every single time.

Im not scared of them or anything, I pray against them, I do my best to repent of sin, Ive used jesus' name and tried calling upon the authority and power of the Holy Spirit THOUSANDS of times. But they just do not leave. Im not talking about casting them straight to hell, Im talking about just making them leave me.

I have made these demons scream out, on a regular basis, with sheer and utter frustration and anger, saying literally things like; I CANT DEFEAT THIS CHILD! WHAT IS HE!? HES GOT GOD IN HIM!

Yet for SOME reason, the just DONT leave! I would imagine pinning them a cross, inflicting crucifixion wounds to them like Jesus had, and then sing hymns at them, and you know what they said? OH LORD, DO NOT CAST ME OUT TILL MY WORK IS DONE.

Hearing people tell me stuff like they're demons and I just need to cast em out is just making me depressed for some reason.

Yes ive been seeing a doctor, for three years in fact, and it was 5 doctors, and they do not think im schizophrenic, or even psychotic. In fact, the anti-psychotic medication Ive been taking for the past 3 years, has had absolutely NO effect, and ive been on quite a few of them.

Im just feeling upset when I hear people just tell me to, Oh! just cast them out!

Dude, I verbally abuse these freaks like Dead Fantasy.

 

[Inkachu]

My personal opinion, Tenken, is that these voices might not be demonic at all, but something inside your head that needs medication and some hard-core therapy. And people can't expect you to "take charge" or "command" something that isn't demonic in the first place. That could be the reason you haven't been successful in battling them.

I'm not saying I'm right. I'm saying it's something to consider, and if it's true, it would take a heck of a burden off your shoulders.

 

[Tenken07]

I know, Some things are just strange as heck. First off. These arent the 'only' demons bothering me. There are usually only about one to two visions I see, however, sometimes I see hundred of shadowy figured come down. Oddly enough, this group of hundreds of them, do not stay near me. Its pretty much ONLY these one or two freaks.

I mean, If demons are able to just come in to me cuz theres some door open, why do only two of them stay, when the rest hardly ever come close to me?

I have thought about the idea of it being some sort of mental problem, but no medication has helped, and the only one left available, I think, is potentially lethal. Can kill you if you dont watch your white blood cell count.

This sucks like bloody heck having a problem where even the EXPERTS dont have the answers.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

What is the context of their appearance?

 

[Jerimi]

Tenken, do you know how to meditate in the traditional Taoist sense of the word?

If not then PM me. If you are serious about a solution then I might know something that can help you.

Truth is, I used to see a little black man and when I would see him, I would not be able to move or even breath sometimes. I am not Schizophrenic nor do I have any other chemical imbalances. I was able to solve the problem through meditation. I can teach you how but it will take some serious time and concentration to do properly.

 

[Tenken07]

They look like the typical Ghosts. White skin, but they have black hair. Not usually any color on their bodies. They seem to have this... black aura/black fire stuff oveir faces and clothes though.

They have wings on their backs. One of them has a white and a black wing. Others are just Jet black wings, and others, have white wings. Although some of the visions do not have wings at all.

Some of the visions look like imps. Really small, probably wouldnt go up to my knee if standing right next to me. Sometimes they have a pitchfork.

Some of these visions will run in utter terror at the sight of a cross, or the mention of scripture, but the others do not do that, in fact are able to just smack it away as if it had no power over them.


Hmmm... what else have I seen....

There also appears to be another figure, completely dark black, expect I see him moving kind of inside my body. Like Ive seen a black arm come out of my real arm, and feel like the black arm is trying to move me.

I have seen giants, and succubi that have tried to have sex with me. The succubi were kind of tied to a chain to the giant.....

Ive seen spirits on horses with lances come at me in my sleep, and woke me up and charges through my room.

Although, I have not seen most of this in a very long time. Now its only the usual two spirits talking to me, the ones who arent affected by jesus or the cross or anything like that, but the group of a hundred figures come down occasionally, and they run from the cross.

Im a total freak..... -_-;;;;;

 

[Tenken07]

whats Taoist meditation?

 

[Inkachu]

Tenken, you are not a total freak......well, maybe you are, but I like you anyway Guess what? We're all freaky in one way or another. What the heck is "normalcy" anyway??

Have you ever been tested for schizophrenia? Have you been to like, a real, serious, professional psychiatrist? I don't just mean some GED-educated counselor around the corner.

 

[Jerimi]

It is a form of meditation with the single purpose of completely clearing your mind.

There is a specific position which you sit in that is designed to allow your body to relax and support itself. There is a way you hold your tongue to prevent saliva from going down your throat and there is a way of breathing which relaxes you. When done sorrectly, you are able to slip into a truly deep meditative state. If you want to PM me, I can explain it all in detail. It is a way to face things on your own terms and heal your mind as well as your spirit.

Taoism is NOT a religion. it is a philosophy which does not conflict with Christianity. As a matter of fact, they support each others ideologies.

 

[brinny]

When people find out I hear voices, and see things constantly, and some of what they do, they just instantly tell me to 'take command' of them, or 'speak against them' cuz 'I have authority!'

Now, problem with hearing this is its really making me feel like crap, and condemned, unsaved, and upset.

I mean, I stand up to these guys ALL the time. I dont take their crap at all. I dont give into despair and panic like I used to, heck I literally out argue the voices almost every single time.

Im not scared of them or anything, I pray against them, I do my best to repent of sin, Ive used jesus' name and tried calling upon the authority and power of the Holy Spirit THOUSANDS of times. But they just do not leave. Im not talking about casting them straight to hell, Im talking about just making them leave me.

I have made these demons scream out, on a regular basis, with sheer and utter frustration and anger, saying literally things like; I CANT DEFEAT THIS CHILD! WHAT IS HE!? HES GOT GOD IN HIM!

Yet for SOME reason, the just DONT leave! I would imagine pinning them a cross, inflicting crucifixion wounds to them like Jesus had, and then sing hymns at them, and you know what they said? OH LORD, DO NOT CAST ME OUT TILL MY WORK IS DONE.

Hearing people tell me stuff like they're demons and I just need to cast em out is just making me depressed for some reason.

Yes ive been seeing a doctor, for three years in fact, and it was 5 doctors, and they do not think im schizophrenic, or even psychotic. In fact, the anti-psychotic medication Ive been taking for the past 3 years, has had absolutely NO effect, and ive been on quite a few of them.

Im just feeling upset when I hear people just tell me to, Oh! just cast them out!

Dude, I verbally abuse these freaks like Dead Fantasy.

They are doing their best..and they're good at it...to keep your focus on them, and off God.....it's His battle, not yours, my brother, and son of the Most High God.

They're terrified you'll realize that, and they will attempt to get yer attention one way or the other.

Look to Abba, and keep going back to it, again and again.....worship and praise Him.....

YouTube - How He Loves Us - Kim Walker / Jesus Culture

we all struggle, my brother...i don't hear audible voices...my foes are more sneaky....and they are soooo good at getting our attention....sneaky li'l beasts....

let's keep our focus on our Abba...it's something they dare not come neear...for God, our Abba, is right smack in the middle of our praise

 

[Gwendolyn]

Have you ever been tested for schizophrenia? Have you been to like, a real, serious, professional psychiatrist? I don't just mean some GED-educated counselor around the corner.

He has said he has seen several. Counsellors cannot prescribe medication - only doctors can.

Tenken, if you have exhausted all other options, speak to a Catholic or Orthodox priest. Doesn't matter if you aren't Catholic or Orthodox. Explain your situation to them, and see what they think. Explain to them your diagnosis (or lack thereof), how many doctors you have seen, etc.

There would be no harm in trying.

Also - antipsychotics make me so tired that I sleep most of the day. I don't like it.

 

[Tenken07]

It is a form of meditation with the single purpose of completely clearing your mind.

There is a specific position which you sit in that is designed to allow your body to relax and support itself. There is a way you hold your tongue to prevent saliva from going down your throat and there is a way of breathing which relaxes you. When done sorrectly, you are able to slip into a truly deep meditative state. If you want to PM me, I can explain it all in detail. It is a way to face things on your own terms and heal your mind as well as your spirit.

Taoism is NOT a religion. it is a philosophy which does not conflict with Christianity. As a matter of fact, they support each others ideologies.

Wow, I already know how to do that.... well actually. That was the kind of meditation I was taught when taking Kung Fu.

Used to meditate like that for about 30 mins. Felt incredible afterwards.

 

[Jerimi]

Wow, I already know how to do that.... well actually. That was the kind of meditation I was taught when taking Kung Fu.

Used to meditate like that for about 30 mins. Felt incredible afterwards.

Kung Fu is based in Taoist tradition actually. I learned it myself.

After awhile, 30 minutes was not enough and so I learned to meditate for up to 18 hours. When you reach true meditation, you can't tell how long it has been because time is no longer something you reference. I would do this about once every 2 - 3 weeks. I understand how you feel and you may want to talk to a Priest but what I did was meditate. I found a nice and quite place in front of a blank wall (preferably white) and did not move until I reached true meditation and stayed there as long as I could. Afterwards you feel refreshed and far more alert, far more sharp and far more in control. Even if this doesn't solve the problem, it may point you to the solution. If these demons are not affected by Christ or the cross then perhaps they are not demons at all. To explore is the only way to discover.

 

[Luther073082]

I'm just going to throw this one out there...

How much sleep are you getting at night?

 

[Tenken07]

Guys, Im also getting the strong feeling like God kinda.... keeping me here to go through this..... not cuz hes <staff edit> or anything. Although part of me is angry for that.

Anyway, Im reading things and they just kind of.... jump out at me so to speak. Specifically things about God allowing crap like this to happen to good people to make them better people.

I mean, think about it. There is enough evidence to clearly Identify these visions as demons. However, even though they are tormenting me, they cannot actually possess me. They really only seem to be able to go so far with me.

Also, everytime I get totally worn out, Something ALWAYS happens to bring me back up, and afterwards, feel stronger than before.

Medication and the doctors have done nothing but harm, yet before I started taking medication, I noticed a total change in the way my life was going right after I turned to God.

In stead of going completely downhill, I started going up, then down, then up a bit higher than before, then down, then back up a little higher than before, then back down, and it repeats.

However, im finding myself to be in the up part alot more lately.


I dunno. I could even compare my life to obediance to the Law. Everytime I come back up and get a little higher each time, I have an easier time with obeying the Law, and feel less burdened by it. And I mean, my thoughts and judgements just seem to line up with scripture lately, wont have the scripture in mind so its not like im just regurgitating it. I just find that the decisions I make, I make for whatever reason, then later ill see a scripture verse, and it just confirms my decision.

So... by that standard... maybe im not doing anything wrong.

 

[Tenken07]

I'm just going to throw this one out there...

How much sleep are you getting at night?

Ever since my doctors messed up my meds, 4 hours a night. I also only eat about the equivalent to one decent sized piece of chicken and a bottle of pop, and thats all I eat for the day.

 

[Inkachu]

You do realize that you may need a lot more sleep and you definitely need a healthier, more sustaining diet...?

I also want to add that your attitude about everything is so positive and upbeat, Tenken. Even when you're talking about how much you suffer, you don't whine and moan and gripe. You just state it all matter-of-factly, and you're always pleasant and polite.

You rock, dude.

I'll try to remember to pray for you on a regular basis, too.

 

[Tenken07]

You do realize that you may need a lot more sleep and you definitely need a healthier, more sustaining diet...?

I also want to add that your attitude about everything is so positive and upbeat, Tenken. Even when you're talking about how much you suffer, you don't whine and moan and gripe. You just state it all matter-of-factly, and you're always pleasant and polite.

You rock, dude.

I'll try to remember to pray for you on a regular basis, too.

*sigh* yea I know lol. Ever since the doctors messed up muh brain with drugs I havent been in the mood or had the desire to eat or sleep. true, they reduced it, but I still usually feel sick from eating.




......

 

[Gwendolyn]

Dear me.

What med are you taking?

 

[KarrieTex]

Just a thought since this does cause issues....have you had doctor's make sure you do not have any brain tumors?