The MOST important quality in a mate

[Macrina]

From all the replies, I take it that clinging to an unrequited crush is a very common thing, especially among women. Is this correct? I had no idea it was such a universal thing.

Within my circle of acquaintence, it is very common in both men and women. My male friends often play their crushes closer to the chest, though.

 

[OhhJim]

Within my circle of acquaintence, it is very common in both men and women. My male friends often play their crushes closer to the chest, though.

You're probably right. When my buddies and I get together, we don't discuss who has a crush on whom.

Fact is, I've had an unrequited crush on someone for about 9 years, now, but it hasn't prevented me from dating others, or being in another relationship. But, if she ever came to her senses, I'd drop everything for her.

 

[Niels]

I agree. Unless the interest is mutual, there's no point. The only potential down-side is that women who play "hard to get" don't stand much of a chance with me.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

His love for Jesus

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

His love for Jesus

did you even read the OP?

 

[sweetlambofgod]

nope too long

 

[sherri]

I thought this was excellent and thought I'd repost it as it ties in to your original post (and in case you're wondering I did print it out and stick it up) (and I printed the next one out and stuck it up under it).
I think someone else originally posted this one in the womens forum but I'm not sure.

If a man wants you

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary..
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, And your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Never let a man define who you are.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

 

[songz777]

My One Point Comes in a Long Phrase lol "Loves Jesus, walks with Him, has daily quiet time, talks to me about Jesus, prays for me and with me, shares His word with me, encourages me, shows here love to me, wants the best for me, wants to make me happy, obeys Him, comitted to her church, makes me laugh" Well thats my ONE point lol a bit expanded. You see I met this woman who is a christiam and I took her her out twice and never once did she ever talk about Jesus, her love or appreciation of Him. In all the texts i sent she never said anything about Jesus not even a verse to help me. I concluded that it was the end of that, after Jesus is my life how could I enter into a serious friendship with a woman who never talks about the One who is everything to me.

 

[Weasel7711]

I thought this was excellent and thought I'd repost it as it ties in to your original post (and in case you're wondering I did print it out and stick it up) (and I printed the next one out and stuck it up under it).
I think someone else originally posted this one in the womens forum but I'm not sure.

If a man wants you

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary..
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, And your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Never let a man define who you are.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

good points

 

[covenantwmn]

Excellent post.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

nope too long

well, i think you should.

 

[kelso85]

Thank you for that post! It was so encouraging! I think I might also print it out & save it. That quality in a mate, really gets over looked. I'm still trying to completely get over a past relationship & have really come to learn that you can't make anybody like or love you. It just takes the right person to come along.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

Thank you for that post! It was so encouraging! I think I might also print it out & save it. That quality in a mate, really gets over looked. I'm still trying to completely get over a past relationship & have really come to learn that you can't make anybody like or love you. It just takes the right person to come along.

when the right person comes along I'm sure you will want to run back to your ex and give him a huge hug and thank him from the bottom of your heart for letting you go so you could meet the RIGHT person. (Ok, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I think you get my drift)

Hang in there. Don't settle for second best. God has first best for you!

 

[Jenster]

Hang in there. Don't settle for second best. God has first best for you!

 

[sweetlambofgod]

when the right person comes along I'm sure you will want to run back to your ex and give him a huge hug and thank him from the bottom of your heart for letting you go so you could meet the RIGHT person. (Ok, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I think you get my drift)

Hang in there. Don't settle for second best. God has first best for you!

 

[sweetlambofgod]

well, i think you should.

haha naw

 

[TinaFromRoseville]

This message couldn't have come at a better time. I think it's also valid to point out that nothing good can come from convincing yourself that someone likes you because he meets your other wish list items. Finding some confirmation of him liking you in even the smallest actions/words can lead to you fooling yourself. You will feel that you were fooled by him, but in the end you will realize that you had as much a part in your deception as he did.

 

[zmastah]

That rocks...if you weren't all the way up in Canada, friend, I'd buy you a coke or something.

Big love,

Zen Mastah

 

[sweetlambofgod]

That rocks...if you weren't all the way up in Canada, friend, I'd buy you a coke or something.

Big love,

Zen Mastah

There you go Beauty another guy after you

 

[zmastah]

There you go Beauty another guy after you

Oh, I'd buy you a coke, too.